MERRY WIVES

SCENE I.-Windsor. Before PAGE's house. Enter JUSTICE SHALLOW, SLENDER, and SIR HUGH EVANS.

Shal. Sir Hugh, persuade me not; I will make a Star-chamber matter of it: if he were twenty Sir John Falstaffs, he shall not abuse Robert Shallow, esquire.

Slen. In the county of Gloster, justice of peace and coram.

Shal. Ay, cousin Slender, and cust-alorum.3 Slen. Ay, and ratolorum too; and a gentleman born, master parson; who writes himself armigero,-in any bill, warrant, quittance, or obligation, armigero.

Slen. All his successors gone before him have done't; and all his ancestors that come after him may: they may give the dozen white luces' in their

coat.

Shal. It is an old coat.

Evans. The dozen white louses do become an old coat well; it agrees well, passant; it is a familiar beast to man, and signifies-love.

Shal. The luce is the fresh fish; the salt fish is an old coat.

Slen. I may quarter, coz ?
Shal. You may, by marrying.

Evans. It is marring indeed, if he quarter it.
Shal. Not a whit.

Evans. Yes, py'r lady; if he has a quarter of

1. The Merry Wives of Windsor. This play was first printed in Quarto, in 1602; but probably from oral and unauthorised sources, since it, and a second Quarto Edition which appeared in 1619, are very inferior versions of this excellent comedy, as given in the Folio, 1623. Half a dozen different tales have been pointed out as affording some trace of the possible origin whence Shakespeare derived hints for his plot: but there is a pleasant tradition that the play owed its existence to a wish expressed by Queen Elizabeth, who was so much entertained with Falstaff's character in the two parts of "Henry IV.," that she desired Shakespeare would write a comedy wherein the fat knight might figure as a lover. The way in which the Dramatist fulfilled the royal command, while yet preserving the integrity of Falstaff's nature (whose love of self is paramount to all other love), may be admired in every scene of this genuinely delightful play, and instanced in even so slight a touch as the knight's reply to Mistress Page's remonstrance, when he says all in one breath, "I love thee, and none but thee; help me away."

2. Sir Hugh. "Sir" was formerly given as a title to priests generally, and curates especially. Those who took the academic degree of Bachelor of Arts were styled Dominus (translated into English by the word "Sir"); and this degree having been taken by most men in orders, it became usual to give them that title.

my simple conjectures: but that is all one.

If Sir

3. Star-chamber. A formidable court of justice that took cognisance of offences against public order, &c.; and which Shallow believes to be the fit tribunal for redressing such weighty grievances as his.

4 Coram. This word ('before') and armigero (ablative case of armiger, 'bearer of arms,' or 'esquire') occur in the form for attestations, which Slender had seen; wherein his cousin's name would thus appear, coram me Roberto Shallow armigero,' &c. Slender also confuses the word with "Quorum" ('Bench of Justices') [see Note 5].

5. Cust-alorum. An abbreviation of Custos Rotulorum ('Keeper of the Rolls'); which would be a part of Shallow's designation, thus:-' Justice of the Peace, and of the Quorum and Custos Rotulorum.' 6. Have done. done."

'All we Shallows,' understood before "have

7. White luces. "Luce" is a pike or jack, and figured in the coat of arms of the Lucy family. In the jumble of heraldic allusions here made by Slender and Shallow, and in the character of the Justice himself, Shakespeare is supposed to have had sportive reference to Sir Thomas Lucy of Charlecote, from whose park, or grounds, the youthful poet was said to have stolen a deer, thereby incurring the knight's wrath and persecution. 8. Marring indeed, if he quarter it. A play on the words

John Falstaff have committed disparagements unto you, I am of the church, and will be glad to do my benevolence to make atonements and compromises between you.

Shal. The council shall hear it; it is a riot. Evans. It is not meet the council hear a riot; there is no fear of Got in a riot: the council, look you, shall desire to hear the fear of Got, and not to hear a riot; take your vizaments 10 in that.

Shal. Ha! o' my life, if I were young again, the sword should end it.

Evans. It is petter that friends is the sword, and end it and there is also another device in my prain, which peradventure prings goot discretions

Act I. Scene I.

with it-there is Anne Page, which is daughter to Master George Page, which is pretty virginity. Slen. Mistress Anne Page?" She has brown hair, and speaks small like a woman.

Evans. It is that fery person for all the 'orld, as just as you will desire; and seven hundred pounds of moneys, and gold, and silver, is her grandsire upon his death's-bed (Got deliver to a joyful resurrections!) give, when she is able to overtake seventeen years old: it were a goot motion if we leave our pribbles and prabbles, and desire a marriage between Master Abraham and Mistress Anne Page.

10. Vizaments. For advisements; consideration, circumspection.

11. Mistress Anne Page. "Mistress" was formerly used as a title for unmarried as well as married women. To "speak small" was to have a soft, low voice.

Pist. He hears with ears.

Evans. The tevil and his tam! what phrase is this, "He hears with ear?" why, it is affectations. Fal. Pistol, did you pick Master Slender's purse?

Evans. So Got 'udge me, that is a virtuous

mind.

Fal. You hear all these matters denied, gentlemen; you hear it.

Enter ANNE PAGE, with wine; MISTRESS FORD, and MISTRESS Page.

Page. Nay, daughter, carry the wine in; we'll drink within. [Exit ANNE Page. Slen. Oh, heaven! this is Mistress Anne Page.

Page. How now, Mistress Ford! Fal. Mistress Ford, by my troth, you are very well met: by your leave, good mistress.

Fal. Is this true, Pistol?

Evans. No; it is false, if it is a pick-purse.

Pist. Ha, thou mountain-foreigner!—Sir John

and master mine,

I combat challenge of this latten bilbo.22

Word of denial in thy labras23 here;

Word of denial :-froth and scum, thou liest!

Slen.

By these gloves, then, 'twas he.

Nym. Be avised, sir, and pass good humours. I will say "marry trap" with you, if you run the nuthook's humour on me; that is the very note of it.

Slen. By this hat, then, he in the red face had it; for though I cannot remember what I did when you made me drunk, yet I am not altogether an ass. Fal. What say you, Scarlet and John ?25 Bard. Why, sir, for my part, I say the gentleman had drunk himself out of his five sentences,Evans. It is his "five senses:" fie, what the ignorance is!

Bard. And being fap,26 sir, was, as they say, cashiered; and so conclusions passed the careires.27 Slen. Ay, you spake in Latin then too; but 'tis no matter: I'll ne'er be drunk whilst I live again, but in honest, civil, goodly company, for this trick; and not with drunken knaves.

22. Latten bilbo. "Latten" was a base metal; and " "bilbo became a name for a sword, from good sword blades being made at Bilboa, in Spain. So that Pistol has a fling at Slender's being as little to be relied on in fight as a worthless weapon. 23. Labras. Spanish, lips.

24. "Marry trap" with you, if you run the nuthook's humour, &c. "Marry trap" seems to have been a slang exclamation similar to Catch who catch can;' and "nuthook" was a cant term for one who hooks thieves-a bailiff.

25. Scarlet and John. Will Scarlet and Little John were the

[Kissing ber. Page. Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome.

come, gentlemen, I hope we shall drink down all unkindness.

[Exeunt all except SHAL., SLEN., and EVANS. Slen. I had rather than forty shillings I had my Book of Songs and Sonnets 28 here.

Enter SIMPLE.

How now, Simple! where have you been? I must wait on myself, must 1? You have not the Book of Riddles about you, have you?

Sim. Book of Riddles ! why, did you not lend it to Alice Shortcake upon All-hallowmas" last, a fortnight afore Michaelmas ?

Shal. Come, coz; come, coz; we stay for you. A word with you, coz; marry, this, coz ;—there is, as 'twere, a tender, a kind of tender, made afar off by Sir Hugh here. Do you understand me? Slen.

Ay, sir, you shall find me reasonable; if it be so, I shall do that that is reason. Nay, but understand me. So I do, sir.

Shal.

Slen.

Evans. Give ear to his motions, Master Slender: I will description the matter to you, if you be capacity of it.

Slen. Nay, I will do as my cousin Shallow says: I pray you, pardon me; he's a justice of peace in his country, simple though I stand here.

names of two of Robin Hood's men; and Falstaff blends the titles into one for Bardolph, in allusion to his red proboscis and hulking stature.

26. Fap. Possibly from the Italian, vappa; which Florio's Dictionary renders by 'wine that hath lost his force and strength; used also for a man in whom is no wit or reason.' Therefore "fap" was probably a slang term for maudlin drunk.

27. Passed the careires. A term of the manège, for running at full speed. Possibly, by this rhodomontade that Slender takes for Latin, Bardolph means to say: Being stupidly drunk, he was turned out (his pockets, as well as himself), and then words ran high, at full gallop.'

28. Book of Songs and Sonnets. This "Book of Songs and Sonnets," and the "Book of Riddles," were evidently fashionable volumes, which Slender was in the habit of carrying about with him as aids to gallant expressions when wooing.

29. All-hallowmas. The Feast of the 1st of November.

Evans. But that is not the question: the question is concerning your marriage.

Shal. Ay, there's the point, sir. Evans. Marry, is it; the very point of it; to Mistress Anne Page.

Slen. Why, if it be so, I will marry her upon any reasonable demands.

Evans. But can you affection the 'oman? Let us command to know that of your mouth or of your lips; for divers philosophers hold that the lips is parcel of the mouth: therefore, precisely, can you carry your good will to the maid?

Shal. Cousin Abraham Slender, can you love her?

Slen. I hope, sir, it will do as it shall become one that would do reason.

Evans. Nay, Ot's lords and his ladies, you must speak possitable, if you can carry her your desires towards her.

Shal. That you must. dowry, marry her?

Will you, upon good

Slen. I will do a greater thing than that, upon your request, cousin, in any reason.

Shal. Nay, conceive me, conceive me, sweet coz: what I do is to pleasure you, coz. love the maid?

Can you

Slen. I will marry her, sir, at your request: but if there be no great love in the beginning, yet heaven may decrease it upon better acquaintance, when we are married and have more occasion to know one another; I hope, upon familiarity will grow more contempt: but if you say, “marry her," I will marry her; that I am freely dissolved, and dissolutely.

Evans. It is a fery discretion answer; save the faul' is in the 'ort "dissolutely: " the 'ort is, according to our meaning, "resolutely:"-his meaning is goot.

Shal. Ay, I think my cousin meant well.
Slen. Ay, or else I would I might be hanged, la.
Sbal. Here comes fair Mistress Anne.

Re-enter ANNE Page.

Would I were young for your sake, Mistress Anne! Anne. The dinner is on the table; my father desires your worships' company.

Sbal. I will wait on him, fair Mistress Anne. Evans. Od's plessed will! I will not be absence at the grace. [Exeunt SHALLOW and SIR H. EVANS.

Simple blunders, by miscalling Martinmas (the 11th November), Michaelmas, which is the 29th of September.

30. Parcel. Used for part; as it is still in legal lan

guage.

31. Master of fence-three veneys, &c. "Master of fence" means not only a fencing-master, but one who had taken his degree as master of the art. "Three veneys" are three hits; French, venues.

Anne. Will't please your worship to come in,

sir ?

Slen. No, I thank you, forsooth, heartily; I am very well.

Anne. The dinner attends you, sir.

Slen. I am not a-hungry, I thank you, forsooth. -Go, sirrah, for all you are my man, go wait upon my cousin Shallow. [Exit SIMPLE.] A justice of peace sometime may be beholden to his friend for a man. I keep but three men and a boy yet, till my mother be dead; but what though? yet I live like a poor gentleman born.

Anne. I may not go in without your worship; they will not sit till you come.

Slen. I' faith, I'll eat nothing; I thank you as much as though I did.

Anne. I pray you, sir, walk in.

Slen. I had rather walk here, I thank you. I bruised my shin th' other day with playing at sword and dagger with a master of fence,3-three veneys for a dish of stewed prunes; and, by my troth, I cannot abide the smell of hot meat since.Why do your dogs bark so? be there bears i' the town?

Anne. I think there are, sir; I heard them talked of.

Slen. I love the sport well; but I shall as soon quarrel at it as any man in England.-You are afraid, if you see the bear loose, are you not? Anne. Ay, indeed, sir.

Slen. That's meat and drink to me now: I have seen Sackerson 32 loose twenty times, and have taken him by the chain; but, I warrant you, the women have so cried and shrieked at it, that it passed: 33. but women, indeed, cannot abide 'em ; they are very ill-favoured rough things.