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From my own Apartment, July 14.

I must beg pardon of my readers, that for this time, I have, I fear, huddled up my discourse, having been very busy in helping an old friend of mine out of town. He has a very good estate, and is a man of wit; but he has been three years absent from town, and cannot bear a jest, for which reason, I have, with some pains, convinced him that he can no more live here than if he were a downright bankrupt. He was so fond of dear London, that he began to fret, only inwardly; but being unable to laugh and be laughed at, I took a place in the northern coach for him and his family; and hope he is got to-night safe from all sneerers, in his own parlour.

St. James's Coffee-house, July 20.

myself justice in relation to an article in a former paper, wherein I made mention of a person who keeps a puppet-show in the town of Bath; I was tender of naming names, and only just hinted, that he makes larger promises when he invites people to his dramatic representations, than he is able to perform: but I am credibly informed, that he makes a profane, lewd jester, whom he calls Punch, speak to the dishonour of Isaac Bickerstaff with great familiarity; and, before all my learned friends in that place, takes upon him to dispute my title to the appellation of esquire. I think I need not say much to convince all the world, that this Mr. Powel, for that is his name, is a pragmatical and vain person, to pretend to argue with me on any subject. Mecum certasse feretur; that is to say, it will be an honour to him to have it said he contended with me: but I would have him to know, that I can look beyond his wires, and know very well the whole This morning we received by express the trick of his art; and that it is only by these agreeable news of the surrender of the town of wires that the eye of the spectator is cheated, Tournay on the twenty-eighth instant, N. S. and hindered from seeing that there is a thread The place was assaulted by the attacks of geon one of Punch's chops, which draws it up, neral Schuylemberg, and that of general Lotand lets it fall at the discretion of the said tum, at the same time. The action at both Powel, who stands behind and plays him, and those parts of the town was very obstinate, and makes him speak saucily of his betters. He! the allies lost a considerable number in the beginto pretend to make prologues against me!-ning of the dispute; but the fight was continued But a man never behaves himself with decency with so great bravery, that the enemy, observin his own case; therefore, I shall commanding our men to be masters of all the posts which myself, and never trouble me further with this little fellow, who is himself but a tall puppet, and has not brains enough to make even wood speak as it ought to do: and I that have heard the groaning board, can despise all that his puppets shall be able to speak as long as they live. But, Ex quovis ligno non fit Mercurius. Every log of wood will not make a Mercury.' He has pretended to write to me also from the Bath, and says, he thought to have deferred giving me an answer until he came to his books; but that my writings might do well with the waters which are pert expressions, that become a school-boy better than one that is to teach others; and when I have said a civil thing to him, he cries, 'Oh! I thank you for that I am your humble servant for that.' Ah! Mr. Powel, these smart civilities will never run down men of learning: I know well enough your design is to have all men automata, like your puppets; but the world is grown too wise, and can look through these thin devices. I know your design to make a reply to this; but be sure you stick close to my words; for if you bring me into discourses concerning the government of your puppets, I must tell you, I neither am, nor have been, nor will be, at leisure to answer you.' It is really a burning shame this man should be tolerated in abusing the world with such representations of things: but his parts decay, and he is not much more alive than Partridge.

*All the papers and passages about Powel, the puppet-show-man, relate to the controversy between Hoad ly and Offspring Blackall, bishop of Exeter, on which they were intended as a banter: it is needless to say, that the wit and raillery is employed on the side of Hoadly.

were necessary for a general attack, beat the chamade, and hostages were received from the town, and others sent from the besiegers, in order to come to a formal capitulation for the surrender of the place. We have also this day received advice, that sir John Leake, who lies off Dunkirk, had intercepted several ships laden with corn from the Baltic; and that the Dutch privateers had fallen in with others, and carried them into Holland. The French letters advise, that the young son to the duke of Anjou lived but eight days.

No. 45.]

Saturday, July 23, 1709.

Credo pudicitiam Saturno rege moratam
In terris-

Juv. Sat. vi. i.

In Saturn's reign, at nature's early birth.
There was that thing called chastity, on earth.
Dryden.

White's Chocolate-house, July 22.

THE other day I took a walk a mile or two out of town, and strolling wherever chance led me, I was insensibly carried into a by-road, along which was a very agreeable quickset of an extraordinary height, which surrounded a very delicious scat and garden. From one angle of the hedge, I heard a voice cry, 'Sir, sir ! This raised my curiosity, and I heard the same voice say, but in a gentie tone, 'Come forward, come forward!' I did so, and one through the hedge called me by my name, and bid me go on to the left, and I should be admitted to visit. an old acquaintance in distress. The laws of knight-errantry made me obey the summons

without hesitation; and I was let in at the back | ter of darkness, upbraided with the support I gate of a lovely house by a maid-servant, who receive from him, for the inestimable possession carried me from room to room until I came into of youth, of innocence, of honour, and of cona gallery; at the end of which, I saw a fine lady science. I see, sir, my discourse grows paindressed in the most sumptuous habit, as if she ful to you; all I beg of you is, to paint it in were going to a ball, but with the most abject so strong colours, as to let Decius see I am and disconsolate sorrow in her face that I ever discovered to be in his possession, that I beheld. As I came near, she burst into tears, may be turned out of this detestable scene of and cried, 'Sir, do not you know the unhappy regular iniquity, and either think no more, or Teraminta?' I soon recollected her whole per- sin no more. If your writings have the good son: But,' said I, madam, the simplicity of effect of gaining my enlargement, I promise dress, in which I have ever seen you at your you I will atone for this unhappy step, by pregood father's house, and the cheerfulness of ferring an innocent laborious poverty, to all the countenance with which you always appeared, guilty affluence the world can offer me.' are so unlike the fashion and temper you are now in, that I did not easily recover the memory of you. Your habit was then decent and modest, your looks serene and beautiful: whence then this unaccountable change? Nothing can speak so decp a sorrow as your present aspect; yet your dress is made for jollity and revelling — It is,' said she, 'an unspeakable pleasure to meet with one I know, and to bewail myself to any that is not an utter stranger to humanity.

Will's Coffee-house, July 21.

ESQUIRE.

From Mother Gourdon's at Hedington,f near Oxon, June 16.

To show that I do not bear an irreconcileable hatred to my mortal enemy, Mr. Powel, at Bath, I do his function* the honour to publish to the world, that plays represented by puppets are permitted in our universities, and that sort of drama is not wholly thought unworthy the critique of learned heads; but, as I have When your friend my father died, he left me been conversant rather with the greater ode, to a wide world with no defence against the in- as I think the critics call it, I must be so humsults of fortune; but rather, a thousand snares ble as to make a request to Mr. Powel, and deto entrap me in the dangers to which youth and sire him to apply his thoughts to answering the innocence are exposed, in an age wherein ho- difficulties with which my kinsman, the author nour and virtue are become mere words, and of the following letter, seems to be embarrassed. used only as they serve to betray those who un-To MY HONOURED KINSMAN, ISAAC BICKERSTAFF, derstand them in their native sense, and obey them as the guides and motives of their being. The wickedest of all men living, the abandoned Decius, who has no knowledge of any good art or purpose of human life, but as it tends to the satisfaction of his appetites, had opportunities of frequently seeing and entertaining me at a house where mixed company boarded, and where he placed himself for the base intention which he has since brought to pass. Decius saw enough in me to raise his brutal desires, and my circumstances gave him hopes of accomplishing them. But all the glittering expectations he could lay before me, joined by my private terrors of poverty itself, could not for some months prevail upon me; yet, however I hated his intention, I still had a secret satisfaction in his courtship, and always exposed my. self to his solicitations. See here the bane of our sex! Let the flattery be never so apparent, the flatterer never so ill thought of, his praises are still agreeable, and we contribute to our own deceit. I was, therefore, ever fond of all opportunities and pretences of being in his company. In a word, I was at last ruined by him, and brought to this place, where I have been ever since immured; and from the fatal day after my fall from innocence, my worshipper became my master and my tyrant.

Thus, you see me habited in the most gorge. ous manner, not in honour of me as a woman he loves, but as this attire charms his own eye, and urges him to repeat the gratification he takes in me, as the servant of his brutish lusts and appetites. I know not where to fly for redress; but am here pining away life in the solitude and severity of a nun, but the conscience and guilt of a harlot. I live in this lewd practice with a religious awe of my minis

'DEAR COUSIN,-Had the family of the Beadlestaffs, whereof I, though unworthy, am one, known of your being lately at Oxon, we had in our own name, and in the university's, as it is our office, made you a compliment: but your short stay here robbed us of an opportunity of paying our due respects, and you of receiving an ingenious entertainment, with which we at present divert ourselves and strangers. A puppet-show at this time supplies the want of an act. And since the nymphs of this city are disappointed of a luscious music-speech, and the country ladies of hearing their sons or brothers speak verses; yet the vocal machines, like them, by the help of a prompter, say things as much to the benefit of the audience, and almost as The licence of a Terreproperly their own. Filius is refined to the well-bred satire of Punchenello. Now, cousin Bickerstaff, though Punch has neither a French nightcap, nor long pockets, yet you must own him to be a Pretty Fellow, a very Pretty Fellow; nay, since he seldom leaves the company without calling son of a whore, demanding satisfaction, and duelling, he must be owned a Smart Fellow, too. Yet, by some indecencies towards the ladies, he seems to be of a third character, distinct from any you have yet touched upon. A young gentleman who sat next me (for I had the curiosity of seeing this entertain

*An allusion to Offspring Blackall's being a bishop. The university of Oxford declared publicly in favour of his lordship, and his doctrine of passive obedience. A village near Oxford; where Dr. King takes the scene of his droll tragi comedy, called Joan of Ileding. ton.'

ment) in a tufted gown, red stockings, and long wig (which I pronounce to be tantamount to red heels, and a dangling cane) was enraged when Punchenello disturbed a soft love-scene with his ribaldry. You would oblige us mightily by laying down some rules for adjusting the extravagant behaviour of this Almanzor of the play, and by writing a treatise on this sort of dramatic poetry, so much favoured, and so little understood, by the learned world.

'From its being conveyed in a cart, after the Thespian manner, all the parts being recited by one person, as the custom was before s. chylus, and from the behaviour of Punch, as if he had won the goat, you may possibly deduce its antiquity, and settle the chronology, as well as some of our modern critics. In its natural transitions from mournful to merry; as from the hanging of a lover to dancing upon the rope; from the stalking of a ghost to a lady's presenting you with a jig, you may discover such a decorum, as is not to be found elsewhere than in our tragi-comedies. But I forgot my. self; it is not for me to dictate: I thought fit, dear cousin, to give you these hints, to show you that the Beadlestaffs do not walk before men of letters to no purpose; and that though we do but hold up the train of arts and sciences, yet, like other pages, we are now and then let into our ladies' secrets. I am your affectionate kinsman,

'BENJAMIN BEADLESTAFF.

From my own Apartment, July 22.

.

I am got hither safe, but never spent time with so little satisfaction as this evening; for you must know, I was five hours with three merry, and two honest, fellows. The former, sang catches; and the latter even died with laughing at the noise they made. Well,' says Tom Bellfrey, you scholars, Mr. Bickerstaff, are the worst company in the world.'-'Ay,' says his opposite, you are dull to-night; pr'ythee be merry.' With that I huzzaed, and took a jump cross the table, then came clever upon my legs, and fell a-laughing. Let Mr. Bickerstaff alone,' says one of the honest fellows, when he is in a good humour, he is as good company as any man in England.' He had no sooner spoke, but I snatched his hat off his head, and clapped it upon my own, and burst out a-laughing again; upon which we all fell a-laughing for half an hour. One of the honest fellows got behind me in the interim, and hit me a sound slap on the back; upon which he got the laugh out of my hands; and it was such a twang on my shoulders, that I confess he was much merrier than I. I was half angry; but resolved to keep up the good humour of the company; and after hollowing as loud as I could possibly, I drank off a bumper of claret, that made me stare again. Nay,' says one of the honest fellows, Mr. Isaac is in the right; there is no conversation in this; what signifies jumping, or hitting one another on the back? let us drink about.' We did so from seven of the clock until eleven; and now I am come hither, and, after the manner of the wise Pythagoras, begin to reflect upon the passages

of the day. I remember nothing but that I am bruised to death; and as it is my way to write down all the good things I have heard in the last conversation, to furnish my paper, I can from this only tell you my sufferings and my bangs.

I named Pythagoras just now; and I protest to you, as he believed men after death entered into other species, I am now and then tempted to think other animals enter into men, and could name several on two legs, that never discover any sentiments above what is common with the species of a lower kind; as we see in these bodily wits with whom I was to-night, whose parts consist in strength and activity; but their boisterous mirth gives me great impatience for the return of such happiness as I enjoyed in a conversation last week. Among others in that company we had Florio, who never interrupted any man living when he was speaking; or ever ceased to speak, but others lamented that he had done. His discourse ever rises from the fulness of the matter before him, and not from ostentatation or triumph of his understanding; for though he seldom delivers what he need fear being repeated, he speaks without having that end in view; and his forbearance of calumny or bitterness is owing rather to his good-nature than his discretion; for which reason he is esteemed a gentleman perfectly qualified for conversation, in whom a general good-will to mankind takes off the necessity of caution and circumspection.

We had at the same time that evening, the best sort of companion that can be; a good-natured old man. This person, in the company of young men, meets with veneration for his benevolence; and is not only valued for the good qualities of which he is master, but reaps an acceptance from the pardon he gives to other men's faults: and the ingenious sort of men with whom he converses, have so just a regard for him, that he rather is an example, than a check, to their behaviour. For this reason, as Senecio never pretends to be a man of pleasure before youth, so young men never set up for wisdom before Senecio; so that you never meet, where he is, those monsters of conversation, who are grave or gay above their years. He never converses but with followers of nature and good sense, where all that is uttered is only the effect of a communicable temper, and not of emulation to excel their companions; all desire of superiority being a contradiction to that spirit which makes a just conversation, the very essence of which is mutual good-will. Hence it is, that I take it for a rule, that the natural, and not the acquired man, is the companion. Learning, wit, gallantry, and good breeding, are all but subordinate qualities in society, and are of no value, but as they are subservient to benevolence, and tend to a certain manner of being or appearing equal to the rest of the company; for conversation is composed of an assembly of men, as they are men, and not as they are distinguished by fortune: therefore he who brings his quality with him into conversation, should always pay the reckoning; for he came to receive homage, and not to meet his friends. But the din about my ears from the clamour of the people I was

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But wealth and wisdom are possessions too solemn not to give weariness to active minds, without the relief (in vacant hours) of wit and love, which are the proper amusements of the powerful and the wise. This emperor, therefore, with great regularity, every day at five in the afternoon, leaves his money-changers, his publicans, and little hoarders of wealth, to their low pursuits, and ascends his chariot, to drive to Will's; where the taste is refined, and a relish given to men's possessions, by a polite skill in gratifying their passions and appetites. There it is that the emperor has learned to live and to love, and not, like a miser, to gaze only on his ingots or his treasures; but, with a nobler satisfaction, to live the admiration of others, for his splendour and happiness in being master of them. But a prince is no more to be his own caterer in his love, than in his food; therefore Aurengezebe has ever in waiting two purveyors for his dishes, and his wenches for his retired hours, by whom the scene of his diversion is prepared in the following manner:

WE see every day volumes written against that tyrant of human life called Love; and yet there is no help found against his cruelties, or barrier against the inroads he is pleased to make into the mind of man. After this preface, you will expect I am going to give particular instances of what I have asserted. That expecta- There is near Covent-garden a street known tion cannot be raised too high for the novelty of by the name of Drury, which, before the days the history and manner of life of the emperor of Christianity, was purchased by the queen of Aurengezebe,* who has resided for some years Paphos, and is the only part of Great Britain in the cities of London and Westminster, with where the tenure of vassalage is still in being. the air and mien indeed of his imperial quality, All that long course of building is under par but the equipage and appointment only of a ticular districts or ladyships, after the manner private gentleman. This potentate, for a long of lordships in other parts, over which matrons series of time, appeared from the hour of twelve of known abilities preside, and have, for the until that of two at a coffee-house near the Ex- support of their age and infirmities, certain change, and had a seat (though without a canopy) taxes paid out of the rewards of the amorous sacred to himself, where he gave diurnal audi- labours of the young. This seraglio of Great ences concerning commerce, politics, tare and Britain is disposed into convenient alleys and tret, usury and abatement, with all things neces- apartments, and every house, from the cellar to sary for helping the distressed, who are willing the garret, inhabited by nymphs of different or. to give one limb for the better maintenance of ders, that persons of every rank may be accomthe rest; or such joyous youths, whose philoso-modated with an immediate consort, to allay phy is confined to the present hour, and were their flames, and partake of their cares. Here desirous to call in the revenue of the next half- it is that, when Aurengeze be thinks fit to give year to double the enjoyment of this. Long did a loose to dalliance, the purveyors prepare the this growing monarch employ himself after this entertainment; and what makes it more august manner: and, as alliances are necessary to all is, that every person concerned in the interlude great kingdoms, he took particularly the inter-ras his set part, and the prince sends, beforeests of Lewis the XIVth into his care and pro-hand, word what he designs to say, and directs tection. When all mankind were attacking also the very answer which shall be made to him. that unhappy monarch, and those who had nei- It has been before hinted, that this emperor ther valour nor wit to oppose against him would has a continual commerce with India; and it be still showing their impotent malice, by lay-is to be noted, that the largest stone that rich ing wagers in opposition to his interests, Au-earth has produced, is in our Aurengezebe's posrengezebe ever took the part of his contemporary, session. and laid immense treasures on his side, in defence of his important magazine of Toulon. Aurengezebe also had all this while a constant intelligence with India; and his letters were answered in jewels, which he soon made brilliant, and caused to be affixed to his imperial castor, which he always wears cocked in front, to show his defiance; with a heap of imperial snuff in the middle of his ample visage, to show his sagacity. The zealots for this little spot called Great Britain, fell universally into this emperor's policies, and paid homage to his superior genius, in forfeiting their coffers to his treasury.

*This name has been applied to a very celebrated East-Indian governor of that time. See more of Aurengezebe in Tattler, No. 50.

But all things are now disposed for his reception. At his entrance into the seraglio, a ser vant delivers him his beaver of state and love, on which is fixed this inestimable jewel as his diadem. When he is seated, the purveyors, Pandarus and Nuncio, marching on each side of the matron of the house, introduce her into his presence. In the midst of the room, they bow all together to the diadem. When the ma tron

'Whoever thou art, as thy awful aspect speaks thee a man of power, be propitious to this man. sion of love, and let not the severity of thy wis dom disdain, that by the representation of naked innocence, or pastoral figures, we revive in thee the memory at least of that power of Venus, to which all the wise and the brave are some part

of their lives devoted.' Aurengezcbe consents by a nod, and they go out backward.'

After this, an unhappy nymph, who is to be supposed just escaped from the hands of a ravisher, with her tresses dishevelled, runs into the room with a dagger in her hand, and falls before the emperor.

'Pity, oh! pity, whoever thou art, an unhappy virgin, whom one of thy train has robbed of her innocence; her innocence, which was all her portion Or rather, let me die like the memorable Lucretia.'-Upon which she stabs herself. The body is immediately examined after the manner of our coroners. Lucretia recovers by a cup of right Nantz; and the matron, who is her next relation, stops all process at law. This unhappy affair is no sooner over, but a naked mad woman breaks into the room, calls for her duke, her lord, her emperor. As soon as she spies Aurengeze be, the object of all her fury and love, she calls for petticoats, is ready to sink with shame, and is dressed in all haste in new attire at his charge. This unexpected accident of the mad woman, makes Aurengeze be curious to know, whether others who are in their senses can guess at his quality. For which reason, the whole convent is examined one by one. The matron marches in with a tawdry country girl Pray, Winifred,' says she,' who do you think that fine man with those jewels and pearls is ?'' I believe,' says Winifred, it is our landlord—It must be the esquire himself.'The emperor laughs at her simplicity. - Go, fool,' says the matron: then turning to the emperor- -Your greatness will pardon her ignorance!' After her, several others of different characters are instructed to mistake who he is, in the same manner: then the whole sisterhood are called together, and the emperor rises, and cocking his hat, declares, he is the great mogul, and they his concubines. A general murmur goes through the whole assembly; and Aurengezebe, certifying that he keeps them for state rather than use, tells them, they are permitted to receive all men into their apartments; then proceeds through the crowd, among whom he throws medals shaped like half-crowns, and returns to his chariot.

This being all that passed the last day in which Aurengezebe visited the women's apartments, I consulted Pacolet concerning the foundation of such strange amusements in old age: to which he answered, 'You may remember, when I gave you an account of my good fortune in being drowned on the thirtieth day of my human life, I told you of the disasters I should otherwise have met with before I arrived at the end of my stamen, which was sixty years. I may now add an observation to you, that all who exceed that period, except the latter part of it is spent in the exercise of virtue and contemplation of futurity, must necessarily fall into an indecent old age; because, with regard to all the enjoyments of the years of vigour and manhood, childhood returns upon them: and as infants ride on sticks, build houses in dirt, and make ships in gutters, by a faint idea of things they are to act hereafter; so old men play the lovers, potentates, and emperors, for the decaying image of the more perfect performances of

their stronger years: therefore, be sure to insert Esculapius and Aurengezebe in your next bill of mortality of the metaphorically defunct.'

Will's Coffee-house, July 24.

As soon as I came hither this evening, no less than ten people produced the following poem, which they all reported was sent to each of them by the penny-post from an unknown hand. All the battle-writers in the room were in debate, who could be the author of a piece so martially written; and every body applauded the address and skill of the author, in calling it a postscript: it being the nature of a postscript to contain something very material which was forgotten, or not clearly expressed in the letter itself. Thus the verses being occasioned by a march without beat of drum, and that circumstance being nowise taken notice of in any of the stanzas, the author calls it a postscript; not that it is a postscript, but figuratively because it wants a postscript. Common writers, when what they mean is not expressed in the book itself, supply it by a preface; but a postscript seems to me the more just way of apology; because, otherwise, a man makes an excuse before the offence is committed. All the heroic poets were guessed at for its author; but though we could not find out his name, yet one repeated a couplet in Hudibras, which spoke his qualifications;

'I' th' midst of all this warlike rabble,
Crowdero march'd, expert and able.'

The poem is admirably suited to the occasion: for to write without discovering your meaning, bears a just resemblance to marching without beat of drum.

ON THE MARCH TO TOURNAY WITHOUT
BEAT OF DRUM.

The Brussels Postscript.

Could I with plainest words express
That great man's wonderful address,
His penetration, and his tow'ring thought;
It would the gazing world surprise,
To see one man at all times wise,

To view the wonders he with ease has wrought.

Refining schemes approach his mind,
Like breezes of a southern wind,
To temperate a sultry glorious day;
Whose fannings, with a useful pride,
Its mighty heat do softly guide,

And, having clear'd the air, glide silently away.

Thus his immensity of thought

Is deeply form'd, and gently wrought,
His temper always softening life's disease;
That Fortune, when she does intend
To rudely frown, she turns his friend,
Admires his judgment, and applauds his ease.

His great address in this design

Does now, and will for ever shine,
And wants a Waller but to do him right;
The whole amusement was so strong,
Like fate he doom'd them to be wrong,
And Tournay's took by a peculiar slight.

Thus, Madam, all mankind behold
Your vast ascendant, not by gold,
But by your wisdom and your pious life;
Your aim no more, than to destroy

That which does Europe's ease annoy,
And supersede a reign of shame and strife."

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