Obrázky na stránke
PDF
ePub
[ocr errors]

fixed on heaven," is the only sure “ Gobse. Cut off the apron in the cirmode of pleasing all readers. It forms

cular line a, b, c, in the figure opposite the genuine hill and dale of style, glass of Port wine and a large tea-spoon

the last page, and pour into the body a and when bounded by a modern mea

ful of mustard, first mixed at the side. dow of margin, bids fair to circulate board. Turn the neck of the goose tothrough ten editions.

wards you, and cut the whole breast in And now, reader, prepare yourself long slices from one wing to another ; for a lecture on carving. “ Some

but only remove them as you help each

person, unless the people," says our authoress, "haggle

is so large as

company

to require the legs likewise.” [And if meat so much as not to be able to

the eaters are so many, wo betide the help half a dozen persons decently goose ; there will be nothing left of it for from a large tongue or a surloin of the next day.] “ This way gives more beef; and the dish goes away with prime bits than by making wings. Take the appearance of having been gnaw

off the leg by putting the fork into the ed by dogs.” Most dogs that have body, and having passed the knife at d,

small end of the bone, pressing it to the come under my cognizance would turn the leg back, and, if a young bird, it be better pleased to gnaw the meat will easily separate." (Let our army

and than the dish ; but putting that aside, navy surgeons take notice that this init must be allowed to be a monstrous

struction is not meant for them.] “TO

take off the wing, put your fork into the thing for the seventh expectant, lo

small end of the pinion, and press it close be watching for a slice from a sur

to the body; then put in the knife at d loin which is destined to be wasted and divide the joint, taking it down in on six persons! Our lady, however, the direction d, e. Nothing but practice must in this instance be considered, will enable people to hit the joint exactly

at the first trial.* as rather hypercritical, few persons

When the leg and being so uninitiated in the mysteries of wing of one side are done, go on to the

other; but it is not often necessary to cut the blade, as to be unable to carve a up the whole goose, unless the company be tongue or a surloin : But to be placed very large. There are two sidebones by opposite a pig, a goose, or a hare, the wing, which may be cut off, as like. and to possess no more skill in the

wise the back and lower sidebones : but art than the executioner of the duke

the best pieces are the breast and the

thighs after being divided from the drum. of Monmouth, is indeed one of the

sticks.” miseries of human life. I most sin- Hare.- The best way of cutting it up, cerely wish I could transplant these is to put the point of the knife under the dainties to the pages of this Review;

shoulder at a, in the figure opposite the but, since that cannot be, let me at

next page, and so cut all the way down least do all I can, by extracting the

to the rump on one side of the backbone,

in the line a, b. Do the same on the other rules for dissecting them.

side, so that the whole hare will be di. Sucking Pig: The cook usually deco

vided into three parts. Cut the back rates the body before it is sent to table, part into four, which, with the legs, is and garnishes the dish with the jaws and the part most esteemed. The shoulders ears. [If she do not, she deserves to must be cut off in a circular line, as c, lose her own ears.] “The first thing is to d, a; lay the pieces neatly on the dish separate a shoulder from the carcase on

as you cut them, and then help the com. one side, and then the leg according to pany, giving some pudding and gravy to the directions given by the dotted line a,

every person.t This way can only be b, c. The ribs are then to be divided into about two helpings, and an ear or a jaw presented with them, and plenty of sauce.

* The clear meaning of this remark is; The joints may either be divided into

that, if you are perfected by practice, you two each, or pieces may be cut from

will hit the joint exactly at the first trial, them. The ribs are reckoned the finest tho

ser tried before. part, but some people prefer the neck-end The impartiality of this hospitable lady, between the shoulders.” [Here is a dif- in giving pudding to every person, wheference of opinion between all people and ther they like it or like it not, is truly asome people, which is left to the arbitra- miable, and of a piece with that species of tion of other people.]

boarding-school benevolence which pla

:

[ocr errors]

gh you

practised when the hare is young: if old, don't divide it down, which will require a strong arm" [a sly hint at the weakness of her readers] "but put the knife between the leg and back, and give it a little turn inwards at the joint, which you must endeavour to hit and not to break by force. When both legs are taken off, there is a fine collop on each side the back” [we all love a slice from poor puss;-This is indeed the hare and many friends] "then divide the back into as many pieces as you please, and take off the shoulders, which are by many preferred, and are called the sportsman's pieces. When every one is helped, cut off the head" [and take it to yourself] "put your knife between the upper and lower jaw, and divide them, which will enable you to lay the upper flat on your plate, then put the point of the knife into the centre, and cut the head in two. The ears and brains may be helped then to those who like them."

By the way, the same individual has seldom a penchant for both. Our noble patronizers of the Italian opera have nice ears and no brains, and many a sinister limb of the law has a plentiful stock of brains and no ears. Here is a body of rules, scientifically laid down, like the figure of a country dance, by right and left, leading out sides, and galloping down the middle, by a study of which the enlightened reader, when a goose or hare is before him,

May CARVE it like a dish fit for the gods,

Not hew it like a carcase for the hounds.

It is to be feared, however, that this, to many readers, is all Algebra, without the aid of the dotted engravings, which, by the way, are so badly executed, that it may be safely said, never were such good dinners served up on such indifferent plates. those, however, who do not comprehend them, the utility of the above extracts is too obvious to render any apology necessary; and would to pro

To

ces pudding as a grace before meat, and obliges the young student to wade through a slough of rice or suct, before he can revel in the joys of beef or mut

ton.

A hint from Horace-viz.
Sapiens sectabitur armos.
By which we learn that SAPIENS is Latin
for a sportsman.

priety that certain ladies and gentle-
men would take their degrees in this
culinary college ere they pretend to
carve for themselves! "Can none
remember, yes I know all must,"
some one of his acquaintance whose
zeal to do the honours of the table is
as intense as that of a missionary to
visit the coast of Africa, and who is
about as well skilled in the science he
professes to teach? Give such a man
the hundred hands of Briareus, and
he would gladly dissect a whole city
feast at a single sitting. With a ge-
nerosity peculiar to himself, he dis-
penses the gravy over the faces and
waistcoats of his fellow guests, leav-
ing the poor goose or duck as dry as
a Scotch metaphysical essay. When
a man of this stamp thrusts his fork
into the breast of a woodcock, the
company present express as much
alarm as if the bird were alive.—" Let
no such man be trusted." What a
fine subject for a didactick poem is
carving! What is Mr. Godwin
about? It is well known he ad-
dresses his writs to the late sheriff of

London, who, upon such an occasion, would doubtless usher the bantling to light. It is true the worthy knight eats no meat himself, since he eat up the heifer; but is that a reason why he should be unmindful of those that

do?

But as humanity is the brightest jewel in a lady's tiara, it grieves me to be obliged to reprehend, in the most unqualified terms, the following receipt to make hare soup-page 104: "Take an old hare that is good for nothing else, cut it into pieces," &c. Fie, madam! are these your fine feelings? Sterne, who wept over a dead jackass, like any sandman, would never have forgiven you. Mr. Southey, mounted on old Poulter's mare, will vilipend you through a whole Thalabia. Is this your respect for age? Suppose some giant of the Monk Lewis breed, having a penchant for human flesh, were to seize you in his paws, and utter this culinary dictum: "Take an old wo

man that is good for nothing else, cut her into pieces," &c. Gentle lady, would you like to be served so yourself?

"Order is heaven's first law," quoth the poet of reason; and as good eating is a heaven on earth to so many respectable natives of London, it can excite no surprise that our dictatrix from the pantry has prefixed to her work an ample and well arranged table of contents, dividing her subject into thirteen parts, embracing every dainty that can tickle the human palate. She commences with the scaly tenants of the flood, and ends with receipts to prevent hay from firing, to wash old deeds, to preserve a head of hair, and to dye gloves to look like York tan or Limerick. What an excursive fancy are some ladies blessed with! A limb of the law might call the latter part of this division travelling out of the record, but surely without due consideration.-Tempus EDAX rerum, is a precept, old as the hills. Now as it is well known that the old gentleman will now and then nibble a lady's glove," then her flowing hair," or gnaw the title deeds of her husband's estate, why should not his food be treated of as well as ours? Nor let any carping critick condemn her dissertation on home-brewery and sauces as too prolix. The evils that spring from inattention to these articles are more numerous than the woes that sprang from the wrath of the son of Peleus. I will not repeat the well known catastrophe at Salthill; death, in that case, was a welcome visiter to snatch eight unfortunate gentlemen from the calamity of an illcooked repast. But I will put it to the recollection of the majority of my readers, whether they are not in the habit of dining with some individual, whom nature seems to have manufactured without a palate. If you ask the footman of such an unhappy being for bread, you receive something possessing the consistence of a stone. His turbot has all the

dignity of age, his Port wine all the fire of youth. With an anxious forefinger and a disappointed thumb, you turn up his fish-cruets one by one, and find that they resemble the pitchers of the Belides. His champagne is a copartnership of tar-water and treacle, and his lobster-sauce is so alarmingly congealed as to be fitter for Salmon's wax-work than for salmon! These are the trials of human fortitude! Talk of Job scolded by his wife, or Cato pent up in Utica -psha! How different the taste and establishment of the renowned Decius! He is an assiduous frequenter of the Tabernacle, where he ponders on the joys to come-when the dinner hour arrives. His thoughts are revolving, not on the new birth, but on the new spit, which kindly roasts his venison without wounding it. If the afternoon service happen to extend beyond the usual period, then may Decius be seen to issue from his pew, like the lioness from her den. Not having the fear of repletion before his eyes, but moved and instigated by an overroasted haunch, he darts through the aisle, and knocks down the intervening babes of grace like so many piping ninepins.

Such is the laudable zeal of a man whose ruling passion floats in a tureen of mock turtle, and yet, so unsatisfactory are all sublunary enjoyments, it may sometimes be doubted whe ther the rearing of such costly pyramids of food be worth the founder's trouble. Goldsmith somewhere expresses a strong objection to two thousand pounds a year, because they will not procure a man two appetites; and another starveling son of the muses, in his fable of the Court of Death, seems to insinuate, that intemperance may, in time, injure the constitution. Certain it is, that three deadly foes to the disciple of Epicurus, entitled Plethora, Apoplexy, and bilious Gout, are often found to lie perdu beneath a masked battery of French paste, and, crossing the course of the voluptuary, like the weird sis

from us,

a

ters in the path of the benighted ney, may give a dinner, but, to give Thane, so annoy him, even when

a proper one, requires both taste seated on that throne of human feli- and fancy; and as those two ingrecity, a tavern-chair, as to make it a dients are not always discernible in moot point whether it was worth his the tout ensemble of a son of Plutus, while to wade through the blood of our authoress hås kindly supplied so many animals to attain it.

their place, by inventing a scale of Mark what Alixis, a Greek poet dinners suited to all pockets; loading says:

the stomachs of her readers, as Lock. Oh, that Nature

it clogged the ankles of his customMight quit us of this overbearing bur.

ers, with fetters of all prices, from then,

one guinea to ten. An abridgment This tyrant god, the belly! Take that

of this part of the work could only With all its bestial appetites, and man,

have the effect of lopping off its meExonerated man, shall be all soul. rits; I shall content myself, there

A truce, however, to these unpa. fore, with touching the two exlatable reflections, and let us revert tremes; extracting, in the first to more agreeable topicks. The due place, that sort of plain, family din. arrangement of a dinner table is not

ner which a man produces when he so easy a matter as some folks ima- means to treat you like a friend, gine. Every one recollects the anec- though, alas! it has more the apdote of the Gray’s-Inn Student, who pearance of treating you like an eneentertained his guests, consisting of my; and, in the next place, I shall two pining old maids and a bilious lay before my readers a collection of nabob, with boiled tripe at top, boil- good things, which might compose ed tripe at bottom, and a round of a lord mayor's feast, worthy to be beef, garnished with parsnips, in the given by the late to the present incentre. Any man possessed of mo- cumbent.

Five Dishes.

Knuckle of Veal, stewed with Rice.
Apple Sauce.
Bread and Butter Pudding.

Potatoes. Loin of Pork roasted. A very indifferent repast, at all events ; but take heed to the roasting of your pork, for Tom Browne, of facetious memory, made a dinner for the devil, in which he gave him undone-pork fo: his top dish.

Long Table once covered.

Fish.
Fruit Tart
One Turkey, or two Poults.

Blanc-mange.
Mock Turtle Soup.

Sweetbreads Harico.

larded. Mash Turnips. Jerusalem Artichokes fricassied.

Stewed Spinach. Carrots thick round. Cray Fish. Savory Cake.

Dried Salmon

in papers. Maccaroni Pudding. Ham bruised.

Trifle.

Chickens.
French Pie.
Casserole of Rice,
Stewed Celery.

Picked Crab.
with Giblets.
Fricandeau.
Apple Pie and Custard.

Ox Rumps and Spanish

Onions.
Jelly form.
Rich white Soup.

Cheesecakes. Fish. (Remove-Venison or Loin of Veal.) It is now time to close the present thing but the extreme importance of article, for the length of which, no. the subject can atone. With a trem. bling pen, I have ventured to touch for seven shillings and sixpence, upon the science of luxurious eating, thou mayest purchase the work of of which, it must be confessed, my which I have furnished thee with a knowledge is derived rather from sort of hashed analysis. Then, if theory than practice, and in which, thou art a man of taste, thou wilt therefore, it is highly probable I have order a dainty repast, after the facommitted some mistakes. Shades shion of one of those enumerated of Apicius, Darteneuf, and Quin, for- within the precincts of pages 312 give me if I have erred! Our jour. and 320 ; and then, when thy envi. ney, gentle reader; has been through ous covers are snatched off by a skil. a delightful country, recalling to our ful domestick, and a steam ascends recollection the juvenile tale of Mi- which might gratify the nose of Jove randa, or the Royal Ram; inasmuch himself, and make him lean from as we are credibly informed, that the Olympus to smell, I hope thou wilt, air within the blissful domains of that as in duty bound, exclaim in the woolly potentate, was darkened with words of the pious king Cymbeline : showers of tarts and cheesecakes.

Laud we the gods, Let me entreat th to repair, with

And let the crooked smoke climb to their out loss of time, to the shop of Mr.

nostrils John Murray, of Fleet Street, where, From our blest altars.

FROM THE QUARTERLY REVIEW. Woman; or, Ida of Athens.* By Miss Owenson, author of “ The Wild Irish Girl,"

• The Novice of St. Dominick,” &c. 4 vols. 12mo. London, 1809.-Philadelphia, republished by Bradford and Inskeep, 2 vols. 12mo. 1809. “ BACHANTES, animated with Or

our eye.

My little works have been phean fury, slinging their serpents in the always printed from illegible manuair, striking their cymbals, and uttering scripts in one country, while their dithyrambicks, appeared to surround him on every side.” p. 5.

author was resident in another.” p. That modesty which is of soul, seem

vi. We have been accustomed to ed to diffuse itself over a form, whose overlook these introductory gossipexquisite symmetry was at once betrayed ings : in future, however, we shall and concealed by the apparent tissue of be more circumspect; since it is eviwoven air, which fell like a vapour round her.” p. 23.

dent, that if we had read straight for. “Like Aurora, the extremities of her ward from the title page, we should delicate limbs were rosed with flowing have escaped a very severe headach. hues, and her little foot, as it pressed its The matter seems now sufficiently naked beauty on a scarlet cushion, re- clear. The printer having to prosembled that of a youthful Thetis from duce four volumes from a manuits blushing tints, or that of a fugitive script, of which he could not read a Atalanta from its height,” &c. &c. p. 53.

After repeated attempts to com- word, performed his task to the best prehend the meaning of these, and of his power; and fabricated the reá hundred similar conundrunis, in quisite number of lines, by shaking the compass of half as many pages,

the types out of the boxes at a venwe gave them up in despair; and ture. The work must, therefore, be were carelessly turning the leaves of considered as a kind of overgrown the volume backward and forward, amphigouri, a heterogeneous combiwhen the following passage, in a

nation of events, which, pretending short note “ to the Reader," caught to no meaning, may be innocently

permitted to surprise for a moment, * For another review of this work, ta

and then dropt for ever. ken from the Monthly Review, and giving a less unfavourable account of it, see vol.

If, however, which is possible, the 1. of the Select Reviews, p. 394.

author, like Caliban (we beg Miss

« PredošláPokračovať »