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man that is good for nothing else, dignity of age, his Port wine all the cut her into pieces,” &c. Gentle fire of youth. With an anxious forelady, would you like to be served so finger and a disappointed thumb, you yourself?
turn up his fish-cruets one by one, “ Order is heaven's first law," and find that they resemble the quoth the poet of reason ; and as pitchers of the Belides. His cham, good eating is a heaven on earth to pagne is a copartnership of tar-water so many respectable natives of Lon- and treacle, and his lobster-sauce is don, it can excite no surprise that so alarmingly congealed as to be fitour dictatrix from the pantry has ter for Salmon's wax-work than for prefixed to her work an ample and salmon! These are the trials of huwell arranged table of contents, di- man fortitude! Talk of Job scolded viding her subject into thirteen parts, by his wife, or Cato pent up in Utica cmbracing every dainty that can -psha! How different the taste and tickle the human palate.' She com- establishment of the renowned Demences with the scaly tenants of the cius! He is an assiduous frequenter flood, and ends with receipts to pre- of the Tabernacle, where he ponders vept hay from firing, to wash old on the joys to come—when the dindeeds, to preserve a head of hair, and ner hour arrives. His thoughts are to dye gloves to look like York tan revolving, not on the new birth, but or Limerick. What an excursive on the new spit, which kindly roasts fancy are some ladies blessed with! his venison without wounding it. If A limb of the law might call the lat- the afternoon service happen to exter part of this division travelling out tend beyond the usual period, then of the record, but surely without due may Decius be seen to issue from his consideration.--Tempus EDAX rerum, pew, like the lioness from her den. is a precept, old as the hills. Now Not having the fear of repletion beas it is well known that the old gen- fore his eyes, but moved and institleman will now and then nibble a gated by an overroasted haunch, he lady's glove," then her flowing hair," darts through the aisle, and knocks or gnaw the title deeds of her hus- down the intervening babes of grace band's estate, why should not his like so many piping ninepins. food be treated of as well as ours ? Such is the laudable zeal of a man Nor let any carping critick condemn whose ruling passion floats in a tureen her dissertation on home-brewery and of mock turtle, and yet, so unsatissauces as too prolix. The evils that factory are all sublunary enjoyments, spring from inattention to these ar- it may sometimes be doubted wheticles are more numerous than the ther the rearing of such costly pyrawoes that sprang from the wrath of mids of food be worth the founder's the son of Peleus. I will not repeat trouble. Goldsmith somewhere exthe well known catastrophe at Salt- presses a strong objection 10 two hill; death, in that case, was a wel- thousand pounds a year, because they come visiter to 'snatch eight unfortu- will not procure a man two appetites; nate gentlemen from the calamity of and another starveling son of the an illcooked repast.
But I will put
muses, in his fable of the Court of it to the recollection of the majority Death, seems to insinuate, that in. of my readers, whether they are not temperance may, in time, injure the in the habit of dining with some in- constitution. Certain it is, that three dividual, whom nature seems to have deadly foes to the disciple of Epicumanufactured without a palate. If rus, entitled Plethora, Apoplexy, and you ask the footman of such an un- bilious Gout, are often found to lie Jappy being for bread, you receive perdu beneath a masked battery of something possessing the consistence French paste, and, crossing the course of a stone, His turbot has all the of the voluptuary, like the weird sis
ters in the path of the benighted ney, may give a dinner, but, to give Thane, so annoy him, even when
a proper one, requires both taste seated on that throne of human feli- and fancy; and as those two ingrecity, a tavern-chair, as to make it a dients are not always discernible in moot point whether it was worth his the tout ensemble of a son of Plutus, while to wade through the blood of our authoress hås kindly supplied so many animals to attain it.
their place, by inventing a scale of Mark what Alixis, a Greek poet dinners suited to all pockets; loading says:
the stomachs of her readers, as Lock. Oh, that Nature
it clogged the ankles of his customMight quit us of this overbearing bur.
ers, with fetters of all prices, from then,
one guinea to ten. An abridgment This tyrant god, the belly! Take that
of this part of the work could only With all its bestial appetites, and man,
have the effect of lopping off its meExonerated man, shall be all soul. rits; I shall content myself, there
A truce, however, to these unpa. fore, with touching the two exlatable reflections, and let us revert tremes; extracting, in the first to more agreeable topicks. The due place, that sort of plain, family din. arrangement of a dinner table is not
ner which a man produces when he so easy a matter as some folks ima- means to treat you like a friend, gine. Every one recollects the anec- though, alas! it has more the apdote of the Gray’s-Inn Student, who pearance of treating you like an eneentertained his guests, consisting of my; and, in the next place, I shall two pining old maids and a bilious lay before my readers a collection of nabob, with boiled tripe at top, boil- good things, which might compose ed tripe at bottom, and a round of a lord mayor's feast, worthy to be beef, garnished with parsnips, in the given by the late to the present incentre. Any man possessed of mo- cumbent.
Knuckle of Veal, stewed with Rice.
Potatoes. Loin of Pork roasted. A very indifferent repast, at all events ; but take heed to the roasting of your pork, for Tom Browne, of facetious memory, made a dinner for the devil, in which he gave him undone-pork fo: his top dish.
Long Table once covered.
larded. Mash Turnips. Jerusalem Artichokes fricassied.
Stewed Spinach. Carrots thick round. Cray Fish. Savory Cake.
in papers. Maccaroni Pudding. Ham bruised.
Ox Rumps and Spanish
Cheesecakes. Fish. (Remove-Venison or Loin of Veal.) It is now time to close the present thing but the extreme importance of article, for the length of which, no. the subject can atone. With a trem. bling pen, I have ventured to touch for seven shillings and sixpence, upon the science of luxurious eating, thou mayest purchase the work of of which, it must be confessed, my which I have furnished thee with a knowledge is derived rather from sort of hashed analysis. Then, if theory than practice, and in which, thou art a man of taste, thou wilt therefore, it is highly probable I have order a dainty repast, after the facommitted some mistakes. Shades shion of one of those enumerated of Apicius, Darteneuf, and Quin, for- within the precincts of pages 312 give me if I have erred! Our jour. and 320 ; and then, when thy envi. ney, gentle reader; has been through ous covers are snatched off by a skil. a delightful country, recalling to our ful domestick, and a steam ascends recollection the juvenile tale of Mi- which might gratify the nose of Jove randa, or the Royal Ram; inasmuch himself, and make him lean from as we are credibly informed, that the Olympus to smell, I hope thou wilt, air within the blissful domains of that as in duty bound, exclaim in the woolly potentate, was darkened with words of the pious king Cymbeline : showers of tarts and cheesecakes.
Laud we the gods, Let me entreat th to repair, with
And let the crooked smoke climb to their out loss of time, to the shop of Mr.
nostrils John Murray, of Fleet Street, where, From our blest altars.
FROM THE QUARTERLY REVIEW. Woman; or, Ida of Athens.* By Miss Owenson, author of “ The Wild Irish Girl,"
• The Novice of St. Dominick,” &c. 4 vols. 12mo. London, 1809.-Philadelphia, republished by Bradford and Inskeep, 2 vols. 12mo. 1809. “ BACHANTES, animated with Or
My little works have been phean fury, slinging their serpents in the always printed from illegible manuair, striking their cymbals, and uttering scripts in one country, while their dithyrambicks, appeared to surround him on every side.” p. 5.
author was resident in another.” p. “That modesty which is of soul, seem
vi. We have been accustomed to ed to diffuse itself over a form, whose overlook these introductory gossipexquisite symmetry was at once betrayed ings : in future, however, we shall and concealed by the apparent tissue of be more circumspect; since it is eviwoven air, which fell like a vapour round her.” p. 23.
dent, that if we had read straight for. “Like Aurora, the extremities of her ward from the title page, we should delicate limbs were rosed with flowing have escaped a very severe headach. hues, and her little foot, as it pressed its The matter seems now sufficiently naked beauty on a scarlet cushion, re- clear. The printer having to prosembled that of a youthful Thetis from duce four volumes from a manuits blushing tints, or that of a fugitive script, of which he could not read a Atalanta from its height,” &c. &c. p. 53.
After repeated attempts to com- word, performed his task to the best prehend the meaning of these, and of his power; and fabricated the reá hundred similar conundrunis, in quisite number of lines, by shaking the compass of half as many pages,
the types out of the boxes at a venwe gave them up in despair; and ture. The work must, therefore, be were carelessly turning the leaves of considered as a kind of overgrown the volume backward and forward, amphigouri, a heterogeneous combiwhen the following passage, in a
nation of events, which, pretending short note “ to the Reader," caught to no meaning, may be innocently
permitted to surprise for a moment, * For another review of this work, ta
and then dropt for ever. ken from the Monthly Review, and giving a less unfavourable account of it, see vol.
If, however, which is possible, the 1. of the Select Reviews, p. 394.
author, like Caliban (we beg Miss
wenson's pardon) “ cannot endue ry body; and the father, after being her purpose with words that make several days without food, is drag. it known ;" but, by illegible, means ged to a spunging house, where he what may be read, and is, consequent. expires ! Ida runs frantically through ly, in earnest; the case is somewhat the streets, and falls into the arms of altered, and we must endeavour to the English traveller, who is now bemake out the story.
come a lord, and very gallantly reIda of Athens, a Greek girl, half news his offers, which are again reancient and half modern, falls despe- jected. In consequence of an adverrately in love with a young slave; tisement in the publick papers, Ida and, when he is defeated and taken discovers a rich uncle, who dies very prisoner, in a fray more ridiculously opportunely, and leaves her “ the begun and ended than the wars of most opulent heiress of Great BriTom Thum the Great, marries a tain." “ Disdar-aga,” to save his life. This The fair Greek abuses her prospesimple personage, instead of taking rity ; but before her fortune and repossession of his bride, whom he has putation are quite gone, the slave “placed on an ottoman of down,"cou- makes his appearance once morem leur de rose, rushes from the apartment not as a Janissary, but as a general " to see a noise which he heard:” and officer in the Russian service; and has scarcely thrust his head out of being now convinced that the familithe street door, when, to his inex- arity of the Disdar-aga led to no pressible amazement, it is dexterous- unseemly consequence, marries his ly sliced off “ by an agent of the quondam mistress for good and all, Porte;"
;"* and Ida, without waiting for and carries her to Russia,“ a country her thirds, runs joyfully home to her congenial by its climate to her delicate father. Meanwhile the Greek slave, constitution and luxurious habits; and who had, somewhat unpolitely, look- by its character, to her tender, sensied through the Disdar-aga's “ tive and fanciful disposition !” iv. P. ment," and seen Ida in his arms,
286. very naturally takes it in dudgeon, Such is the story, which may be and enrolls himself among the Janis- dismissed as merely foolish ; but the saries. Ida, on her side, having no
sentiments and language must not engagement on her hands, falls in escape quite so easily. The latter is love with an English traveller, who an inflated jargon, composed of terms offers her a settlement, which she picked up in all countries, and wholvery modestly rejects. A long train ly irreducible to any ordinary rules of wo succeeds. Her father is strip- of grammar or sense. The former ped of his property, and thrown into are mischievous in tendency, and a dungeon; from which he is deliver. profligate in principle, licentious ed by the Janissary on duty (the pry- and irreverent in the highest deing lover of Ida) who, without making gree. To revelation, Miss Owenhimself known, assists them to quit son manifests a singular antipathy. the country, and embark for England. It is the subject of many profound “They launch into the Archipelago, diatribes, which want nothing but that interesting sea, so precious to meaning to be decisive. Yet Miss the soul of genius ;" iv. p. 45, and Owenson is not without an object of after many hair-breadth 'scapes, ar- worship. She makes no account, inrive in London. Here they are deed, of the Creator of the universe, cheated, robbed, and insulted by eve.
unless to swear by his name ; but,
in return, she manifests a prodigious Wrong :- he turns sick as he is run
respect for something that she dignining after “ the Capadilger Keayassa,” and dies in a ditch.--See vol. iii. p. 143.
fies with the name of Nature, which, Printer's Devil. it seems, governs the world; and, as VOL. II.
we gather from her creed, is to be due process of time, might be added honoured by libertinism in the wo- a pocket dictionary. She might then men, disloyalty in the men, and athe- take a few easy lessons in “ joinedism in both.
hand,” in order to become legible. This young lady, as we conclude If, after this, she could be persuaded from her introduction, is the enfante to exchange her idle raptures for gaté of a particular circle, who see, common sense; practise a little selfin her constitutional sprightliness, denial; and gather a few precepts of marks of genius, and encourage her humility from an old-fashioned book, dangerous propensity to publication which, although it does not seem to She has evidently written more than have lately fallen in her way, may she has read, and read more than she yet, we think, be found in some corhas thought. But this is beginning ner of her study; she might then at the wrong end. If we were happy hope to prove, not indeed a good enough to be in her confidence, we writer of novels, but a useful friend, should advise the immediate pur- a faithful wife, a tender mother, and chase of a spelling book, of which a respectable and happy mistress of she stands in great need; to this, in a family.
FROM THE EDINBURGH REVIEW.
Reliques of Robert Burns, consisting chiefly of Original Letters, Poems, and Critical
Observations on Scottish Songs. Collected and published by R. H. Cromek. 8vo. pp. 450. London. 1808.-Philadelphia, republished by Bradford and Inskeep, 1809.
BURNS is certainly by far the other which could have been assigngreatest of our poetical prodigies- ed him. He was taught, at a very from Stephen Duck down to Thomas early age, to read and write ; and Dermody. They are forgotten al- soon after acquired a competent ready ; or only remembered for de- knowledge of French, together with rision. But the name of Burns, if the elements of Latin and geometry. we are not mistaken, has not yet His taste for reading was encouraged “ gathered all its fame;" and will by his parents and many of his assoendure long after those circumstan- ciates; and, before he had ever comces are forgotten which contributed posed a single stanza, he was not only to its first notoriely. So much, in- familiar with many prose writers; but deed, are we impressed with a sense far more intimately acquainted with of his merits, that we cannot help Pope, Shakspeare, and Thomson, thinking it a derogation from them than nine tenths of the youth that to consider him as a prodigy at ald; leave school for the university. These and are convirced that he will never authors, indeed, with some old collecbe rightly estimated as a poet, till tions of songs, and the lives of Hanthat vulgar wonder be entirely re- nibal and of sir William Wallace, pressed which was raised on his ha- were his habitual study from the first ving been a ploughman. It is true, days of his childhood; and, cooperano doubt, that he was born in a ting with the solitude of his rural oce humble station, and that much of his cupations, were sufficient to rouse early life was devoted to severe la his ardent and ambitious mind to the bour, and to the society of his fellow love and the practice of poetry. He labourers. But he was not himself had as much scholarship, we imaeither uneducated or illiterate ; and gine, as Shakspeare, and far better was placed, perhaps, in a situation models to form his ear to harmony, more favourable to the development and train his fancy to graceful in. of great poetical talentsy than any vention..