melancholy intelligence of the sudden decease of his Majesty's cousingerman, the reigning Duke of Wolfenbuttle, at the court of Stuttgard" (stifled groans, and looks of rueful disappointment, with cries of "Go on, go on")--"I am commanded by the government, ladies and gentlemen, immediately on the receipt of this despatch, which has just arrived express, to close the house till Monday next, under penalty of the forfeiture of my licence" (immense uproar, hisses, and cries of "Shame! shame! swindle! swindle! go off! go on! hear! silence !") "In this dilemma, ladies and gentlemen," continued Elliston, "there is but one duty left me, as a loyal subject, which is to show my respect for the reigning dynasty, by consulting the feelings of our beloved sovereign" (continuation of the tumult). "Still, however, ladies and gentlemen, I wish you should be rather gainers than losers by this unfortunate event" (faint applause, and incredulous murmurs). "I have, therefore, resolved on obeying the edict of Downing-street, and postponing the representation of "Aladdin," until the time specified in the notice, Monday next" (renewal of the tumult); "but," continued Elliston, with great emphasis, "I have directed the check-takers to give every lady and gentleman, as they quit the theatre, a double order of admission for any one night they choose next week" (applause and cries of "Bravo! well done, Elliston !") By which means, ladies and gentlemen, you will not only have witnessed the representation of O'Keeffe's excellent comedy of "Wild Oats," this evening for nothing, but will have two admissions for the price of one, for a subsequent night, giving you a clear gain of cent per cent" (uproarious applause). "You are a commercial, a calculating people. You will see at once the advantages of this arrangement, will perceive the gain-a representation to-night for nothing, and two admissions next week at the price of one, to witness the most gorgeous spectacle ever produced on the British stage" (deafening cheers, waving of hats and handkerchiefs, this being a complete home stroke to the money-getting people of Birmingham). "I therefore throw myself upon the liberality and generosity of a British audience, and with the performance of our National Anthem, shall respectfully take my leave."

Here the band struck up "God save the King," and Elliston retired amidst enthusiastic shouts, observing as he passed his astonished company, who had been eagerly listening,

"Didn't I say it was all right; that as the Genius of the Lamps, I would perform even greater wonders than I shall do as the Genie of the Lamp ?"

The audience retired perfectly consoled for their disappointment in having two admissions for the price of one, independently of having witnessed the performance of that evening gratuitously.

Having now by the night's receipt of three hundred pounds obtained the "sinews of war," all he wanted, Elliston set to work in good earnest, and by dint of incredible exertion, for nowhere is so much work got through in so short a time as in a theatre, produced "Aladdin” on the following Monday, with a glitter and effect that completely satisfied the most unconscionable, and which realized him at the end of the season a profit of between two and three thousand pounds.

It is perhaps needless to say, that the letter of the Secretary of State, announcing the untimely demise of his Majesty's cousin german, the reigning Duke of Wolfenbuttle, was entirely an invention of Elliston's

brain-no such personage having died, if indeed he had ever lived, which was a query.

MEASURE FOR MEASURE.

THERE was a readiness in turning every thing to present account about Elliston, that never under any circumstances forsook him, and which not even liquor itself could overpower. A ludicrous instance of this faculty may be related.

Elliston and Richard Brunton, brother to Miss Brunton, now Countess of Craven, and father of Mrs. Yates, had been starring it for a few nights at Daventry, and on the termination of their engagement, were one evening awaiting at the Royal Oak in that town, the arrival of the coaches from London and Birmingham, which were accustomed to cross each other there. The London coach was to bring down Brunton's daughter, who had not then become poor Frederic Yates's better half, as she afterwards did, and who was to proceed by it in the company of Elliston to Birmingham, to fulfil a short engagement there, Elliston being at that time the proprietor of its theatre, while the Birmingham coach was to convey Brunton to London to play a few nights at Covent Garden.

As the two coaches seldom arrived at Daventry till considerably past midnight, the two friends and brother actors, Ambo', to pass away the time while waiting for their respective conveyances, resorted to the only authorized occupation in an inn at such a juncture, and indulged in such a royal libation, that like the shadows of the kings in the witches' glass in "Macbeth," bumper succeeded bumper; "another, and another, and another," till, with the conscience stricken usurper, they might well have exclaimed, "What! will this wine stretch till the crack of doom?" In fact these congenial spirits drank pottle deep, and by the time the coaches arrived, they had each got as complete a skinfull as any gentlemen could possibly desire to have.

Unfortunately for Elliston, who was considerably the worst of the two, the London coach, which duly contained the fair Miss Brunton inside, had only one vacant place left, and that was an outside one in front of the coach. Much time was lost in raising Elliston, who was already elevated more than enough, to his seat above, and when at last this difficult ascent was accomplished, "Oh, who can tell how hard it is to climb under such circumstances!"-the great comedian could not but be himself aware, that in the condition he then was, he was in imminent danger with every motion of the coach of toppling off; but with that presence of mind which, as we have said, never forsook him, he turned to the passenger by whose side he was placed (for he, Elliston, had the off seat), a goodnatured grazier, and hiccupped out,

"My good friend, as I am rather sub-subject to a de-determination of blood to the head, which is apt to produce gid-giddiness, if you'll take my place and give me the inner one, between you and that other gen-gentleman, and just hold me up as we go-go along, I'll stand a glass of brandy-and-water at the next stage we come to."

"It be a bargain," said the good natured countryman, changing seats, "I'll hold you up, never fear. Steady, sir. Now, coachman, we be all right, so drive on."

And drive on the coachman did. the fresh air, after exchanging a

Elliston, through the influence of hiccupping adieu with his friend

Brunton, sunk into a comfortable doze, from which he was not aroused till they stopped to change horses, when his holder-on claimed the performance of his promise.

"Oh certainly, certainly," hiccupped Elliston. "A shilling's worth of hot brandy-and-water, landlord."

The brandy-and-water was duly brought and tossed off by the satisfied countryman, Elliston most honourably paying for it.

"Be we to go on again, sir?" inquired the grazier, after the coachman had changed horses, and was preparing for his next start.

"Oh certainly, certainly," said Elliston. "Go on again, never

leave off."

And off they set again, Elliston as before composing himself to the air of "We are a' nodding," till another stage was performed, and they arrived at Stony Stratford. The coach again stopped to change horses, and again the grazier awoke Elliston to claim the performance of the contract. "Another glass of

"Oh certainly, certainly," again said Elliston.

hot brandy-and-water for my friend Snooks here, ostler, and take the money."

Again the grazier drained the glass to the bottom, and again the coachman prepared to start for the next stage.

"Be we to go on again, sir?" asked the grazier, who began to think he had got into a very good thing.

"Oh, certainly, certainly. Go on again, never leave off," making himself up this time to illustrate the air of "Oh Slumber my Darling." Another stage was performed, Southam was reached, another glass was emptied, and another contract entered into. In short, not to lengthen out this story unnecessarily, in the course of another stage, the same game being pursued, Elliston, through the influence of sleep, and the fresh air, had become perfectly sober, while the poor countryman, through the strength of the hot brandy-and-water, and the haste in which he was obliged to drink it, had got perfectly drunk,-in fact, they had exchanged conditions, and it soon became evident that, to ensure the safety of the countryman it was necessary they should change situations.

"But stop, friend Snooks," said Elliston, with a knowing wink, as the proposition was made him, "the boot is on the other leg now; what is good for the goose is good for the gander, you know, and a pretty gander I have been. I have no objection to insure your neck, but it must be on the same terms as you insured mine. Yes, yes, no holding on without the brandy-and-water, friend goose; to say the word, is it a bargain or not? Be we to go on again, sir ?" slily imitating the grazier.

Yes, yes," rather unwillingly hiccupped the countryman, finding he had no alternative, "certainly, certainly."

His seat was accordingly restored to him. At the end of the stage Elliston duly claimed his glass, and made a fresh contract for the next, using the countryman's own words, "Be we to go on again, sir?" and by this cunning contrivance, not only preserved his neck during his temporary intoxication, but obtained all the brandy-and-water back again at the expense of which he had procured it, much to his own satisfaction, but by no means equally so to the honest countryman.