listen to the long-winded colonel's history of all that was known or suspected about myself, and quietly withdrew from the infernal set without appearing to attract the least attention from any one. Now then, wife, that is all and every thing I have got to tell you; and I shall be very happy, in my turn, to listen to any thing and every thing you may wish to say upon it, by way of commentary."

It was at least two minutes before Mrs. Allen Barnaby answered this appeal, but so eloquently meditative was her countenance that the major, notwithstanding the urgent necessity he felt there was for immediate action, betrayed no symptom of impatience, but waited in perfect silence till his charming oracle spoke.

"This is just about the worst job we have had, major," she said at length, "for as sure as you stand there, we shall have a regular hue and cry after us throughout the country; and as it is not possible to stir an inch without being examined by every man, woman, and child you meet, as if you were before, a court of justice, it will certainly be no easy matter to keep clear of discovery. However, it won't do, Donny, to stand still in despair, and cry All's over!' We are neither of us fit for that sort of pitiful work. Faint heart, they say, never won fair lady, and I am sure faint heart never saved bold gentleman. Do you remember, my dear, the sort of dress and demeanour which your lively fancy induced you to assume when you were first introduced to my relations, the Huberts, at Brighton ?"

"Oh yes, perfectly," replied the major, briskly. "I thought it advisable to be in the saint line then, in order to assimilate myself to the character of the former Mr. O'Donagough."

"Exactly, so, my dear," said his wife; "but though you remember this, I am sure you do not remember (for it was impossible you could judge of it) the inconceivable alteration which this dress and manner made in your appearance. It is impossible any disguise could be more complete. What I should propose, therefore, is, that you resume this for the time we remain in the country. For let rumours be circulated about you either from New Orleans, Big-Gang Bank, Philadelphia, New York, or this nasty, hateful lake Erie, this disguise would completely baffle them all, for in neither of these places, my dear, did you think proper to appear at all in the likeness of a saint. And besides, you know, there is not a country in the whole world where it would be likely to answer better in every respect; for while we were at the Springs I heard a dozen different histories at the very least, all showing the extraordinary respect and veneration in which the travelling evangelical preachers are held. They told me that if a new dancing-girl and a new preacher appeared in a town at the same time, it was always a very close run contest between them, and generally ended by all the gentlemen following the dancer, and all the ladies the preacher. Now this would do for you exactly, Donny, because none of your little tricks have been played off upon the ladies, and therefore none of them, go where we may, will be likely to find you out."

"But surely, my dear, you don't expect me actually to set up for a preacher?" cried the major, looking a good deal alarmed.

"And pray why not, Major Allen Barnaby?" replied his highspirited wife," what in the world should prevent you?"

"The not having your universal and commanding genius, Mrs. Allen Barnaby," he rejoined, adding, very gravely, "I have not the slightest objection to shave close, moustache, favoris, and all, if you advise it, and I shall not wonder if, in fact, it were to prove the very best thing I could possibly do. But as to mounting a pulpit, I must confess that I do not feel a call for it. I am convinced that I should stand staring at the congregation like a fool, without being able to say a word."

"Nonsense, major! When did you ever find it difficult to palaver? You are the very man for it. We will just contrive, if we can, that you shall hear some high-flying preacher once, and when you see how it is done, you will find it easy enough to set off in the same style, I'll be bound for you."

"Well then, set about it, my Barnaby! You are a wonder of a woman, and I believe you could make me do any thing in the world that you took it into your head to command. Just say when I must shave, and where I must go, and what I must preach, and you shall find me a perfect pattern of obedience."

"You are a perfect pattern of wisdom, Donny, I will say that for you. A wise man, when he is sinking, always holds fast, I take it, to what he thinks is most likely to float, and that you do this, my good major, I believe nobody will deny, and for that very reason, my dear, you will always find me ready and willing to hold out a helping hand to save you.'

Upon my soul, I have found it so, and I should more than once have been puzzled to know what to do without you, there is no denying it. Now then, I presume you mean to be off from this place directly. There's a boat goes by to Sandusky at eleven this morning, and another at nine in the evening, but of course the first will suit us best."

"Do you really think so, major," said my heroine, looking in his face with an eye that laughed very saucily.

"If you do, I must confess that I do think you want a little of my assistance."

"What do you mean?" said the major, slightly frowning, but at the same time firmly resolved to preserve his good-humour, let his lady say what she would, "what can you mean by saying that?"

"I mean, Major Allen Barnaby," replied his wife with mock solemnity," that if it be your will and pleasure to decide upon this mode of proceeding, the chances are about a thousand to one in favour of our being followed to Sandusky as suspicious characters."

"I have no doubt of it, Mrs. Allen Barnaby," replied the persecuted gentleman, rather tartly, "my own (opinion is that the chances are about two thousand to half a one, in favour of the agreeable catastrophe to which you allude."

Then why risk it, my love?" said his wife, hanging her head sentimentally, and speaking with great tenderness of accent.

"And how avoid it?" he returned precisely with the same attitude and tone.

"Wait one instant, and I will tell you," said his wife, placing her finger on her forehead, and closing her eyes, to give her thoughts uninter

rupted range within. Having remained thus alone as it were for half a moment, she said, "in this way you must avoid it. Let us both immediately return to our room, you mounting the stairs first, and I behind you. No particular notice has been directed your way, as yet. All was bustle and confusion when we came in last night, the waiters had just time enough to bring us all we called for, and, as it seemed, no more, for, if you remember, there was not one of them that remained in the room a moment after the] wine, or whatever it was, had been set down. This morning, by your account, there was no more leisure for curious examination, than there was last night, so that I flatter myself that you and your whiskers are not as yet much known by sight among them. Having reached our room, Donny, we will lock the door, and then I will shear you as close as a May-day lamb, in which operation your razor shall assist my scissors. And then, Major Allen Barnaby, I will open the smallest of the three great trunks, and prove to you that if I do upon some occasions expend a great deal in dress, with a view to the honour and respectability of my family, there are others when the most thoughtful economy in this respect is the rule of my actions. Do you remember, my dear, the black and gray suit in which you dined at the house of my nephew, General Hubert, at Brighton?"

"Yes, perfectly," replied the major, smiling, "but it is considerably more than a year ago that I last saw it, and it is quite beyond hope that you should have it here."

Mrs. Allen Barnaby laid her hand upon the bolt of the door to withdraw it, saying,

66 Come up stairs with me, major, and shall see. you But cough a little as you pass by the bar, and hold your handkerchief to your face. We must not, just for the present, display your magnificent moustachios."

Thus instructed, and displaying in all ways the most exemplary obedience, the major left the little room in which the above conversation had passed, mounted the stairs, and, closely followed by his lady, entered the apartment in which they had passed the night, and in which Tornorino had seen their voluminous luggage carefully lodged. Having reached this sanctuary, and cautiously secured its door, not a moment was lost by either in performing the business they had in hand; and while she drew forth a complete suit of very evangelical-looking attire, complete even to the white cravat, and gray and black shot-silk waistcoat, he set to work upon his forest-like face, and hewed and mowed away till he was as well shaven and shorn as any reasonable Christian could desire. In the finishing this rather laborious work, she not only found time to assist him, but, as she did so, enlightened him as to what was next to be done, as follows:

"Now then, Donny, with that dress yonder, carefully put on, and your low-crowned hat, upon this nice gray head, I will defy all the Gabriel Monktons in Yankee-land to identify you. So far so good. But now listen to the rest. I suspect, by the way I have seen the servant girls coming and going, that there is a back stairs at the end of the long passage just outside our door. While you are dressing, I'll just have a peep as to that matter. If I am right, we know of course