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faint efforts, shook their heads, and marched away as heavy-laden as they came. I saw multitudes of old women throw down their wrinkles, and several young ones who stripped themselves of a tawny skin. There were very great heaps of red noses, large lips, and rusty teeth.
The truth of it is, I was surprised to see the greatest part of the mountain made up of bodily deformities. Observing one advancing toward the heap with a larger cargo than ordinary upon his back, I found, upon his near approach, that it was only a natural hump, which he disposed of, with great joy of heart, among this collection of human miseries. There were likewise distempers of all sorts ; though I could not but observe that there were many more imaginary than real.
One little packet I could not but take notice of, which was a complication of all the diseases incident to human nature, and was in the hand of a great many fine people ; this was called the spleen. But, what most of all surprised me, was a remark I made, that there was not a single vice or folly thrown into the whole heap ; at which I was very much astonished, having concluded within myself, that every one would take this opportunity of getting rid of his passions, prejudices, and frailties.
I took notice, in particular, of a very profligate fellow, who, I did not question, came loaded with his crimes ; but, upon searching into his bundle, I found that, instead of throwing his guilt from him, he had only laid down his memory. He was followed by another worthless rogue, who flung away his modesty, instead of his ignorance.
When the whole race of mankind had thus cast their burdens, the Phantom which had been so busy on this occasion, seeing me an idle spectator of what passed, approached toward me. uneasy at her presence, when, of a sudden, sie held her magnifying-glass full before my eyes. I no sooner saw my face in it, than I was startled at the shortness of it, which now appeared to me in its utmost aggravation. The immoderate breadth of the features made me very much out of humour with my own countenance ; upon which I threw it from me like a mask. It happened, very luckily, that one who stood by me had just before thrown down his visage, which, it seems, was too long for him. It was, indeed, extended to a most shameful length ; I believe the very chin was, modestly speaking, as long as my whole face.
We had both of us an opportunity of mending ourselves ; and all the contributions being now brought in, every man was at liberty to exchange his misfortunes for those of another person. I saw, with unspeakable pleasure, the whole species thus delivered from its sorrows; though, at the same time, as we stood round the heap and surveyed the several materials of which it was composed, there was scarcely a mortal in this vast multitude who did not discover what he thought pleasures and blessings of life, and wondered how the owners of them ever came to look upon them as burdens and grievances.
As we were regarding very attentively this confusion of miseries, this chaos of calamity, Jupiter issued out a second proclamation, that every one was now at liberty to exchange his affliction, and to return to his habitation with any such bundle as should be allotted to him. Upon this, Fancy began again to bestir herself, and parcelling out the whole heap with incredible activity, recommended to every one his particular packet. The hurry and confusion at this time was not to be expressed. Some observations which I made upon the occasion I shall communicate to the public : A poor galley-slave, who had thrown down his chains, took up the gout instead ; but made such wry faces that one might easily perceive he was no great gainer by the bargain. It was pleasant enough to see the several exchanges that were made, for sickness against poverty, hunger against want of appetite, and ease against pain. The female world were busy among themselves in bartering for features : one was trucking a lock of grey hairs for a carbuncle : another was making over a short waist for a pair of round shoulders ; and a third cheapening a bad face for a lost reputation ; but, on all these occasions, there was not one of them who did not think the new blemish, as soon as she got it into her possession, much more disagreeable than the old one. I made the same observation on every other misfortune or calamity which every one in the assembly brought upon himself, in lieu of what he had parted with ; whether it be that all the evils which befall us are in some measure suited and proportioned to our strength, or that any evil becomes more supportable by our being accustomed to it, I shall not determine.
I must not omit my own particular adventure. My friend with a long visage had no sooner taken upon him my short face,
but he made such a grotesque figure in it, that, as I looked upon him, I could not forbear laughing at myself, insomuch that I put my own face out of countenance. The poor gentleman was so sensible of the ridicule, that I found he was ashamed of what he had done : on the other side, I found that I myself had no great reason to triumph ; for, as I bent to touch my forehead, I missed the place, and clapped my finger upon my upper lip! Besides, as my nose was exceedingly prominent, I gave it two or three unlucky knocks as I was playing my hand about my face, and aiming at some other part of it. I saw two other gentlemen by me, who were in the same ridiculous circumstances.
The heap was at last distributed among the two sexes, who made a most piteous sight, as they wandered up and down under the pressure of their several burdens. The whole plain was filled with murmurs and complaints, groans and lamentations. Jupiter, at length, taking compassion on the poor mortals, ordered them a second time to lay down their loads, with a design to give every one his own again. They discharged themselves with a great deal of pleasure ; after which, the Phantom who had led them into such gross delusions, was commanded to disappear. There was sent in her stead a goddess of a quite different figure : her motions were steady and composed, and her aspect serious but cheerful. She every now and then cast her eyes towards heaven, and fixed them upon Jupiter. Her name was Patience. She had no sooner placed herself by the mount of sorrows, but, what I thought very remarkable, the whole heap sunk to such a degree, that it did not appear a third part as big as it was before. She afterwards returned every man his own proper calamity, and, teaching him how to bear it in the most commodious manner, he marched off with it contentedly, being very well pleased that he had not been left to his own choice as to the kind of evils which fell to his lot.
Besides the several pieces of morality to be drawn out of this vision, I learned from it never to repine at my own misfortunes, or to envy the happiness of another, since it is impossible for any man to form a right judgment of his neighbour's sufferings ; for which reason, also, I have determined never to think too lightly of another's complaints, but to regard the sorrows of my fellowcreatures with sentiments of humanity and compassion.
LABOUR AND GENius.—(SYDNEY Smith.)
The prevailing idea with young people has been, the incompatibility of labour and genius ; and, therefore, from the fear of being thought dull, they have thought it necessary to remain ignorant. I have seen, at school and at college, a great many young men completely destroyed by having been so unfortunate as to produce an excellent copy of verses. Their genius being now established, all that remained for them to do, was to act up to the dignity of the character ; and as this dignity consisted in reading nothing new, in forgetting what they had already read, and in pretending to be acquainted with all subjects by a sort of offhand exertion of talents, they soon collapsed into the most frivolous and insignificant of men.
It would be an extremely profitable thing to draw up a short and well-authenticated account of the habits of study of the most celebrated writers with whose style of literary industry we happen to be most acquainted. It would go very far to destroy the absurd and pernicious association of genius and idleness, by showing that the greatest poets, orators, statesmen, and historians, men of the most brilliant and imposing talents—have actually laboured as hard as the makers of dictionaries and the arrangers of indexes ; and that the most obvious reason why they have been superior to other men, is, that they have taken more pains than other men.
Gibbon was in his study every morning, winter and summer, at six o'clock : Burke was the most laborious and indefatigable of human beings : Leibnitz was never out of his library ; Pascal killed himself by study : Cicero narrowly escaped death from the same cause : Milton was at his books with as much regularity as a merchant or an attorney : he had mastered all the knowledge of his time : so had Homer. Raphael lived but thirty-seven years ; and in that short space carried the art of painting so far beyond what it had before reached, that he appears to stand alone as a model to his successors.
There are instances to the contrary ; but, generally speaking, the life of all truly great men has been a life of intense and incessant labour. They have commonly passed the first half of life in the gross darkness of indigent humility-overlooked, mistaken, contemned, by weaker men---thinking while others slept, reading
while others rioted, feeling something within them, that told them they should not always be kept down among the dregs of the world. And then, when their time was come, and some little accident has given them their first occasion, they have burst out into the light and glory of public life, rich with the spoils of time, and mighty in all the labours and struggles of the mind. Then do the multitude cry out “a miracle of genius !” Yes, he is a miracle of genius, because he is a miracle of labour ; because, instead of trusting to the resources of his own single mind, he has ransacked a thousand minds ; because he makes use of the accumulated wisdom of ages, and takes, as his point of departure, the very last line and boundary to which science has advanced ; because it has ever been the object of his life to assist every intellectual gift of nature, however munificent, and however splendid, with every resource that art could suggest, and every attention diligence could bestow.
But, while I am descanting upon the conduct of the understanding, and the best mode of acquiring knowledge, some men may be disposed to ask : “Why conduct my understanding with such endless care ; and what is the use of so much knowledge ?" What is the use of so much knowledge ? What is the use of so much life? What are we to do with the seventy years of existence allotted to us ? and how are we to live them out to the last ? I solemnly declare that, but for the love of knowledge, I should consider the life of the meanest edger and ditcher as preferable to that of the greatest and richest man in existence ; for the fire of our minds is like the fire which the Persians burn on the mountains : it flames night and day and is immortal, and not to be quenched ! Upon something it must act and feedupon the pure spirit of knowledge, or upon the foul dregs of polluting passions.
Therefore, when I say, in conducting your understanding, love knowledge with a great love, with a vehement love, with a love coëval with life, what do I say but love innocence ; love virtue ; love purity of conduct ; love that which, if you are rich and great, will vindicate the blind fortune which has made you so, and make men call it justice ; love that which, if you are poor, will render your poverty respectable, and make the proudest feel it unjust to laugh at the meanness of your fortunes ; love that which will comfort you, adorn you, and never quit you—which will