Beef-fleak, and October clubs, are neither of them averse to eating and drinking, if we may form a judgment of them from their refpective titles. WHEN men are thus knit together, by a love of fociety, not a fpirit of faction, and do not meet to cenfure or annoy thofe that are abfent, but to enjoy one another; when they are thus combined for their own improvement, or for the good of others, or at least to relax themselves from the business of the day, by an innocent and chearful conversation, there may be fomething very useful in these little institutions and establish ments. I cannot forbear concluding this paper with a scheme of laws that I met with, upon a wall in a little alehoufe: how I came thither I may inform my reader at a more convenient time. These laws were enacted by a knot of artifans and mechanics, who used to meet every night; and as there is fomething in them which gives us a pretty picture of low life, I fhall transcribe them word for word. RULES to be obferved in the Two-penny club, erected this place, for the prefervation of friendship and good neighbourhood. I. Every member at his firft coming in fhall lay down his two-pence. II. Every member shall fill his pipe out of his own box. III. If any member absents himself, he fhall forfeit a penny for the use of the club, unless in case of ficknefs or imprisonment. IV. If any member fwears or curfes, his neighbour may give him a kick upon the fhins. V. If any member tells ftories in the club that are not true, he shall forfeit for every third lie an halfpenny. VI. If any member ftrikes another wrongfully, he fhall pay his club for him. VII. If any member brings his wife into the club, he fhall pay for whatever fhe drinks or fmokes. VIII. If any member's wife comes to fetch him home from the club, she shall speak to him without the door. IX. If any member calls another cuckold, he shall be turned out of the club.. X. None fhall be admitted into the club that is of the fame trade with any member of it. XI. None of the club fhall have his cloaths, or fhoes, made or mended, but by a brother-member. XII. No Nonjuror fhall be capable of being a member. THE morality of this little club is guarded by fuch wholfome laws and penalties, that I queftion not but my reader will be as well pleafed with them, as he would have been with the Leges Convivales of Ben Johnfon, the regulations of an old Roman club cited by Lipfius, or the rules of a Sympofium in an antient Greek author. C No 10. Monday, MARCH 12.. Non aliter quam qui adverfo vix flumine lembum So the boat's brawny crew the current fiem, IT is with much fatisfaction that I hear this great city inquiring, day by day, after thefe my papers, and receiving my morning lectures with a becoming ferioufnefs and attention. My publisher tells me, that there are already three thousand of them diftributed every day; fo that if I allow twenty readers to every paper, which I look upon as a modeft computation, I may reckon about threefcore thousand difciples in London and Westminster, who I hope will take care to diftinguifh themselves from the thoughtless herd of their ig norant norant and unattentive brethren. Since I have raised to myself fo great an audience, I fhall fpare no pains to make their inftruction agreeable, and their diversion ufeful. For which reafons I fhall endeavour to enliven morality with wit, and to temper wit with morality, that my readers may, if poffible, both ways find their account in the fpeculation of the day. And to the end that their virtue and difcretion may not be fhort, tranfient, intermitting starts of thought, I have refolved to refresh their memories from day to day, till I have recovered them out of that defperate state of vice and folly into which the age is fallen. The mind that lies fallow but a fingle day, fprouts up in follies that are only to be killed by a conftant and affiduous culture. was faid of Socrates, that he brought philofophy down from heaven, to inhabit among men: and I fhall be ambitious to have it faid of me, that I have brought philofophy out of clofets and libraries, fchools and colleges, to dwell in clubs and affemblies, at teatables, and in coffee-houfes. It I would, therefore, in a very particular manner, recommend thefe my fpeculations to all well-regulated families, that fet apart an hour in every morning for tea, and bread and butter; and would earneftly advise them for their good, to order this paper to be punctually ferved up, and to be looked upon as a part of the teaequipage. SIR Francis Bacon obferves, that a well written book, compared with its rivals and antagonifts, is like Mofes's ferpent, that immediately fwallowed up and devoured those of the Egyptians. I fhall not be fo vain as to think, that where the SPECTATOR appears, the other public prints will vanish; but fhall leave it to my reader's confideration, whether it is not much better to be let into the knowledge of one's felf, than to hear what paffes in Mufcovy or Poland; and to amuse ourfelves with fuch writings as tend to the wearing out of ignorance, paffion, and prejudice, than fuch as naturally conduce to inflame hatreds, and make enmities irre concileable. In the next place, I would recommend this paper to the daily perufal of thofe gentlemen whom I cannot .but but confider as my good brothers and allies, I mean the fraternity of spectators, who live in the world without having any thing to do in it; and either by the affluence of their fortunes, or laziness of their difpofitions, have no other business with the reft of mankind, but to look upon them. Under this clafs of men are comprehended all contemplative tradefmen, titular phyficians, fellows of the Royal Society, templars that are not given to be contentious, and statesmen that are out of business; in short, every one that confiders the world as a theatre, and defires to form a right judgment of those who are the actors on it. THERE is another fet of men that I must likewife lay a claim to, whom I have lately called the blanks of fociety, as being altogether unfurnished with ideas, till the bufinefs and converfation of the day has fupplied them. I have often confidered thefe poor fouls with an eye of great commiferation, when I have heard them afking the first man they have met with, whether there was any news stirring ? and, by that means, gathering together materials for thinking. These needy perfons do not know what to talk of, 'till about twelve o'clock in the morning; for, by that time, they are pretty good judges of the weather, know which way the wind fits, and whether the Dutch mail be come in. As they lie at the mercy of the first man they meet, and are grave or impertinent all the day long, according to the notions which they have imbibed in the morning, I would earneftly intreat them not to ftir out of their chambers till they have read this paper, and do promise them that I will daily inftil into them fuch found and wholsome fentiments, as fhall have good effect on their converfation for the ensuing twelve hours. BUT there are none to whom this paper will be more useful than to the female world. I have often thought there has not been fufficient pains taken in finding out proper employments and diverfions for the fair ones. Their amufements feem contrived for them, rather as they are women, than as they are reasonable creatures; and are more adapted to the fex than to the fpecies. The toilet is their great scene of business, and the right adjusting of their hair the principal employ ment ment of their lives. The forting of a fuit of ribbons is reckoned a very good morning's work; and if they make an excurfion to a mercer's or a toy-fhop, fo great a fatigue makes them unfit for any thing else all the day after. Their more ferious occupations are fewing and embroidery, and their greatest drudgery the preparation of jellies and sweet-meats. This, I fay, is the ftate of ordinary women; though I know there are multitudes of those of a more elevated life and converfation, that move in an exalted sphere of knowledge and virtue, that join all the beauties of the mind to the ornaments of dress, and infpire a kind of awe and refpect, as well as love, into their male-beholders. I hope to increase the number of these by publishing this daily paper, which I fhall always endeavour to make an innocent, if not an improving entertainment, and by that means at least divert the minds of female readers from greater trifles. At the fame time, as I would fain give fome finishing touches to those which are already the most beautiful pieces in human nature, I shall endeavour to point out all thofe imperfections that are the blemishes, as well as thofe virtues which are the 'embellishments of the fex. In the mean while, I hope these my gentle readers, who have fo much time on their hands, will not grudge throwing away a quarter of an hour in a day on this paper, fince they may do it without any hinderance to bufinefs. I know feveral of my friends and well-wishers are in great pain for me, left I fhould not be able to keep up the fpirit of a paper which I oblige myself to furnish every day but to make them eafy in this particular, I will promise them faithfully to give it over as foon as I grow dull. This I know will be matter of great rallery to the fmall wits; who will frequently put me in mind of my promife, defire me to keep my word, affure me that it is high time to give over, with many other little pleasantries of the like nature, which men of a little fmart genius cannot forbear throwing out against their best friends, when they have fuch a handle given them of being witty. But let them remember that I do hereby enter my caveat against this piece of rallery. C Tuesday, |