to my mind. O what accumulated iniquity to pretend to serve God, when we are serving Satan. Lord, if I am deceived, suffer me not to retain the deception.

Tomorrow, if the Lord will, I shall appear in his sanctuary, and sit at his table. Am I clothed with the wedding garment? O may I be enabled to ascertain my case. Just a glimpse of hope beams on my benighted soul. It is all I have had for some days. Frequently I feel as if I must resign even that, and look on myself as a wretched sinner. Long have I been involved in darkness, Egyptian darkness, occasioned by my inconsistent and unholy life. Even when religion is the subject of conversation, I feel averse to saying any thing. Something seems to whisper, "Refrain, base wretch, from talking on that solemn theme. It is not for such hypocrites as you." Thus am I harassed and tortured day and night. Sun of righteousness, illumine my dark soul with thy heavenly rays.

May 20. How conspicuous is the goodness of God to the sinful, even to me. Ever since I first received the gift of life, I have experienced his kind care and protection. Many times, when I have been brought to the verge of eternity, he has snatched me from the grave, and restored me to health. He has given me many, very many opportunities, to obtain useful and religious knowledge. Surely goodness and mercy have followed me all the days of my life. O what shall I render unto the Lord for all his benefits conferred on one so vile, so worthless. Tho I have had my share of afflic tions, yet I think I can bless God for them; as

they were sent in infinite wisdom. may adopt the language of the poet.

"I praise him for all that is past;

I trust him for all that's to come."

O that I

May 23. Glory to God for this precious sentence: "Behold the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world." Well may it be ushered in with the word, behold. That precious blood, which was freely shed on Calvary, can make us clean and white. O were it not for this, I must lie down in despair. But blessed be God, there is precious balm in Gilead, and a glorious Physician there. O may it be applied to my diseased soul. O the preciousness of Christ. What are perishing worlds, and all their vanities, when compared to him? O who could be so foolish, as to slight and neglect the dear Redeemer?

May 25. I have attended lecture this afternoon. But O how melancholy to enter the house of prayer, the place where God's honor dwelleth, and see so few. O what a privilege is lost by those, who absent themselves from the delightful place. There I sat, and could not hear, when thousands blessed with hearing, neglect these inestimable opportunities. A price is put into their hands to get. wisdom; but they have no heart for it. Professors are cold and dull. Among these I must rank myself. My dear young friends seem engrossed with the trifles of a day. No one is solicitous to obtain an interest in the blood of the Lamb. What shall I say more? Alas how can I dwell on the melancholy theme?

May 27. Saturday eve. O how much have I thought of tomorrow. I am apprehensive I shall be dull and stupid. Is it possible? Can I as it were sit at the foot of the cross, and looking above, see the Lord of glory expiring for sinners, and not feel the strongest emotions of love, gratitude and repentance? Surely there is beauty in Jesus, sufficient to attract my whole heart. O that he would come and manifest himself to my soul. O that I could fly on the wings of faith and love, to behold him, and dwell forever in his embraces. When shall it be? O when? How long, ere I shall view him face to face?

June 25. With what peculiar privileges am I indulged. I have this day been to the house of God, and commemorated the death of Christ.. O that I may let my profiting appear. Lord clothe me with humility. I am astonished, that I have so much pride, How desirable it is to be low in the dust, to dwindle into nothing in my own esteem, that Christ may be all in all.

July 28. How many poor and benighted pagans there are on our globe. Involved in the dark labyrinth of ignorance and error, they know not a Savior, nor his dying love. With all their sins about them, they enter the world of spirits, and appear before a holy God. Who can but commiserate their hapless state, and endeavor to contribute something to meliorate their condition? They have souls. Yes souls the poor Indians have, to be saved or lost; to enjoy the favor of God in heaven, or to sink into the fire that never can be quenched. The soul of a heathen is precious as mine.

But alas, they sit in darkness and the shadow of death. They never heard salvation's joyful sound. O mighty God, incline thy children to pray fervently for them who know not thee, and to appropriate a part of their wealth to the support of missionaries who are gone to the dark corners of the earth, to promulgate the gospel. O that their exertions may prove successful in winning many immortal souls to Christ. O how delightful must it be to see those, who were immersed in darkness, arising from the gloom, and lisping the praises of their God and Redeemer. O my God, have mercy upon them, and teach them the sweet language of Canaan.

O how innumerable are my privileges. Surely the lines are fallen to me in pleasant places. I have a goodly heritage. O what shall I render unto the Lord for all his benefits to me? Why am I not a wretched heathen, ignorant of every thing truly good? O the distinguishing love of God.

Aug. 27. I have had a letter from my dear friend, H. Atwood. After a long, and to me a painful silence on her part, she has written to inform me of her happy state. I cannot but hope she now rejoices in the smiles of her Savior, and feels her soul secure in him. O what thanks are due to God for his continued favors. I rejoice that her youthful days are consecrated to Jesus, and that she enjoys that peace of mind, which passes understanding. O that she may be enabled to live to the glory of God on earth, and at last dwell with him forever.

Sept. 10. I have this day completed the eighteenth year of my life. Is it possible? Can it be? Have I arrived at such an àge, and acquired so little valuable information? What have I been doing for so many years? Why have I not been assiduously engaged in meliorating my heart, and improving my understanding? Alas, how dilatory and negligent have I been. I have been here many years; but are any of my fellow mortals the better? Ah, how painful is retrospection. Is it desirable to live, to do as I have done? O that I could live every moment to the glory of Him, who made me, and gives me every blessing I enjoy. Almighty Father, pardon my sins, and sanctify my heart. O let me enjoy thy smilesduring the remainder of my wearisome journey through this valley of Baca.*

Sept. 24. Last Sabbath eve my dear brother was united in marriage to Miss N. B. Many considerations combined to render the transaction solemn. O that the union may be long and happy. May they set out in the fear of God; in all their ways acknowledge him; shine as lights in the world; be instrumental in building up the kingdom of Jesus; and preparing each other for glory; and at last be receiv ed into heaven, where they neither marry, nor are given in marriage.

Oct. 1. How short the time, since spring commenced, and all nature seemed alive. The fields clad in verdure, the gardens decorated with curious flowers, the trees in blossoms,

*The valley of Baca, or of mulberry trees, was a barren place. Some translate Baca, weeping, or misery. See Scott on Psalm lxxxiv, 6.