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guineas, I now equipped myself with the necessary appointments, and rode out daily with my major on the moors. In the course of these rides I imparted to him my desire to get appointed to some regiment on service, and hinted pretty plainly the disgust and disappointment I felt on joining such a motley group of officers and men. My own observations on the major's conduct, since I joined, convinced me that my remarks would not be ill-taken. He sympathized with me, but with great kindness suggested the propriety of keeping my opinions to myself, and preserving good terms, as he did, with all the corps, such as they were; the great probability being, that it would very shortly be drafted, when the officers would be distributed into old regiments to fill up vacancies. "In the mean time," added this good man, "should you wish to be sent on the recruiting service, you may have your choice of Manchester, Liverpool, Chester, or Birmingham." I know not why I chose the first-named place, except my desire to see it more thoroughly, having had only a glimpse of it; but I instantly accepted the offer, although at the certain loss of two shillings per diem as company's paymaster. The next day my name appeared in orders for that service, which those who were unacquainted with the cause attributed to my being no great favourite at head-quarters; that opinion, however, gave me not a moment's uneasiness. With the exception of Harrington, who was himself so impatient to leave the regiment that he would have exchanged into one of the black corps then raising, I left no one behind me on whom I bestowed a thought of regret. I certainly highly respected and esteemed the major; but he was a man with whom, for a person of my age, intimacy was almost impossible.

On the appearance of the order for my march to Manchester, I was allowed to select a sergeant, corporal, and one man, (besides my servant,) as my party. That point accomplished, I had to pay my respects to the Limerick ensign, who had been for some time inducted into the office of acting paymaster, from whom I received some twenty or thirty pounds, with the usual bundle of instructions, pay-lists, &c. To the adjutant I sold my pony, saddle, and bridle, for six guineas; and after one more day's preparation for the march, took my leave of this apology for a regiment, and happily never saw it more, as one. Allowing my party to proceed on the route, at the rate of sixteen miles a day to the station, on the second day, I found my way by cross coaches, in a zig-zag course. to Manchester; and, as the least expensive mode of proceeding, got into lodgings at one of the many milliners' shops with which that town abounded.

CHAPTER VI.

There is not a more potent antidote against low sensuality than the adoration of beauty."

Or all countries on earth, England is the least romantic; and of all places in England, a manufacturing town is the last where a person of that turn of mind could indulge in those happy sports of fancy which "cheat expectation and sorrow of their weary moments."

To the wretch whose mind can be satisfied with low intrigue, such a polluted region affords complete scope for the vile pursuit. Nothing could be more afflicting to the heart or sight, than the thousand specimens of precocious infamy and depravity which the various workshops disgorged on the pave at night-fall. As manufactures flourish, morals decay. The congregation, within a small focus, of hundreds of the ignorant and licentious of both sexes, initiates even infancy itself into all kind of indecencies at the first dawning of reason: no wonder that their after life should be marked by that utter recklessness and indifference to virtue and good order which is, alas! but too apparent.

The shop of the house in which I had lodged myself was the daily lounge of idlers and recruiting officers, of which there were absolutely hundreds at that time in the town. The young ladies only, of whom there were three, appeared in the shop to receive company, if I may so term it: while the convenient mother, took post in the back parlour, her implied presence being a protection against open scandal, although no restraint whatever upon that kind of conversation which it may be well imagined this promiscuous acquaintance gave rise to.

The purchase of a pair of gloves, a rosette, or a watch-riband, was always a sufficient introduction: and the innocent favours granted to their customers were meted out, not so much by their manners, person, or rank, as by the liberality with which they made their purchases. In fact, a more sordid, selfish trio never existed; they were even attempting to supplant each other in the good graces of those who had the mi serable folly to become their temporary dupes. Being a re

sident of the house, I obtained the credit of an intimacy which never existed. Slave as I was from my early days of boyhood to the dear sex, I never could for a moment suffer a thought of regard to enter my mind for any of those heartless beauties; for such, with the aid of rouge, indian ink, and pearl powder, they contrived to appear. Perhaps of all persons known to them, I was kept at the greatest distance, and voted a penurious, cold-blooded young man. How little they knew

me!-but tant mieux.

They had not even any of the amiable weaknesses of the sex; money! money! money! was their sole idol. But they suited their countrymen all the better, for Mr. Bull likes a bit of barter even in affairs of love; and if he did lay down his half-guinea for a promise and a sly kiss across the counter, he congratulated himself on a drawback of twenty-five per cent. in the shape of a pair of half crown gloves! A nobleman of fifty thousand pounds a year, dealing in horse-flesh, invariably prides himself on adhering to the maxim "Sell in guineas, buy in pounds;" then again, "card money," in the first circles; "Christmas boxes!" "servants' vails," and "montem begging!" Master Napoleon was right about us; but n'importe; we call ourselves the first of nations, and let that pass.

Chance introduced me to the acquaintance of an officer of the Coldstream Guards, Ensign the Honourable E. Plunkett, (now Lord Dunsany,) who had been on this "forlorn_hope duty," (recruiting at Manchester,) for some months. In his agreeable society I found some refuge from the heterogeneous mixture of dulness and depravity in this huge focus of thieving and theology-murder and methodism-crime and calico.

As we never appeared in regimentals more than one day in the week, and then for not more than a couple of hours, while under the inspection of the inspecting officer of the district we left the field of finery open to the Fencible gentlemen, who were too proud of their gay trappings to lay them down for a single day, and rejoiced at being able to make our daily excursions in the neighbourhood, without being recognised as a pair of the "King's hard bargains."

It occurred to me one day to explore, in company with my Honourable friend, the well recollected Watergate-street, in search of the two ladies who were my fellow travellers on my first visit to England with my father in 1790. I found the old couple semper idem; but the spinsters had changed their condition. One had removed with a mercantile husband to Liverpool, the other had been taken to wife by a brother cotton spinner, at Stockport; and to meet whom on her next visit we were invited to take tea by the old lady.

On the appointed day we presented ourselves at five o'clock,

one hour before dinner-time, and were received with much ceremony by the whole party. My friend had previously requested that I would sink his hereditary Honourable and introduce him as plain Mr. Plunkett. An unusual preparation, I perceived, had been made for our reception; and, as it was expected that we should eat muffins as well as sip tea, in endeavouring to comply with their pressing entreaties our politeness and our inclinations were often placed in conflict.

The young lady, who had now arrived at the age of threeand-twenty, had progressively increased in bulk I should suppose every year since I had seen her, as she was at that time a mountain of flesh; pure white and read. She bore the strange name of Mrs. Smallpiece, than which, compared with her immense calibre, nothing could be more ridiculously inappropriate. In addressing her, my friend and self made every effort our ingenuity could suggest to soften down the pronunciation of the horrid cognomen into something more delicate to the ear; yet every attempt we made at the embellishment, curtailment, or abbreviation, in the sound of either syllable, by changing a vowel, only tended to render it the more ludi

crous.

Her inquiries after my father, were tolerably kind, considering the presence of the husband, who, with all the inquisitiveness of the trades-man, asked me what business my sire was in; a question which, I believe, would have puzzled himself to answer had he been present. My answer was short and truly Irish: "He is a gentleman, sir." On the same question being put to my Honourable friend, he replied, that his father was a farmer! I was instantly struck with the superior sense and modesty of the reply of the ancient Irish nobleman's son.

My friend showed a strange fancy in admiring most hugely the massive Mrs. Smallpiece? There was an old spinette-a hurdy-gurdy piano forte-in the room, which the daughters had been taught to strum upon, and on which he very gallantly requested the married lady, as the only musical member of the family then present, to favour the company with an air. She was half inclined to comply, but still kept her seat; so my friend perceiving that the mountain would not come to Mahomet, he (as Mahomet) went to the mountain, and taking her hand, with a gentleness and grace which even the husband could not but admire, led her to the instrument; and, as he was himself a bit of a musician, aided her in all her preliminary arrangements for gratifying the family party, and which she effectually did, although the vile twanging spinette was misera. bly defective in strings and much out of tune. The good folks were quite disappointed at our leaving them at a quarter before seven; while, on our side, we were unwilling to inform

them that we had not dined; and were full three quarters of an hour beyond our time.

With an appetite increased by a long fast and a pungent cup of green tea, I fell to on my steak most ravenously, while my Honourable friend seemed to give all his thoughts to the great lady in the little parlour we had just left. He returned about nine o'clock to sup with the family, while I, who had quite enough of them, and saw nothing in the full grown wife to redeem the dislike I took to the growing Miss escaped to the half-play to see a pantomime and the pony races which were then the rage.

The next day I heard from my friend that my desertion had rather displeased them; that by some means these tradespeople had discovered his rank, and he found his second visit far less agreeable than the first in consequence of being oppressed with respect, and constantly reminded of the nobility of his blood. His attentions to the lady were received with infinitly less reserve than before, and he was even invited by the fond couple to visit them at Stockport; and this he assured me he would have done, had not mention been made that two or three little Smallpieces, the fruits of their happy union, would be presented to him. This, as he confessed, cut the thread of his admiration in twain, and he thought no more of them or their odious name.

This gallant officer received a severe wound at the Helder, which, I believe, eventually induced him to retire from the service after reaching the rank of lieutenant-colonel. Whether in his professional or private life, he was equally estimable; the nobility was honoured by such a member of its order, and the army lost none of its dignity.

Never having given myself the slightest trouble on the subject, I was not at all disappointed at finding my whole body of recruits, after several weeks' beating up, amount to-two! and these, poor Irish weavers: but I had not a Macnab for my spokesman; so that when I received the order to repair to head-quarters, which had been now changed to Leeds, I experienced none of those anxieties for the safety of my charge which I felt when employed on the same service in Ireland; nor encountered any of those adventures which I never reflected on but with a kind of melancholy pleasure. These feelings never slept within me; they were kept alive by a passion which inspired sentiments that preserved me from sinking into any of those debasements, which, had my heart been unoccupied, the easiness of my nature, warmth of temperament, and constant temptations might have led me into.

Having despatched my party by the regular route, I determined to pursue my own as my fancy should dictate; and having

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