A donkey pricked her ears and bray'd,
Just to deride her rider.
Quite oft a lady, when she 's vex'd,
Will make a feint in faintin',
She uses it but to deceive-
As she does paint in paintin'.
If you will eat too much, 'tis plain
You sure will grow, sir, grosser :
If you persist in drinking rum,
'Twill paint your nose, sir, know sir!
To sober keep, I sign'd the pledge-
My sole design in signin';
Some men throw all their cash away,
But I spend mine in minin'.
I must confess I love the weed,
And when I choose, sir, chew sir;
I don't play cards-I find that I,
When I play loo, sir, lose, sir.
Although I'm tempted to transgress,
Each day, instead, I stead eye,
Forswear gay pleasure's blandishments-
Turn from the ready "red eye."
I can't play billiards-when I miss
I don't excuse a cue, sir;
If you can play a better game,
I'll take a few" of you, sir.
Some rhymes may more mellifluent sound,
But you can't meet a metre
Will puzzle you much more than this,
Though much as sweet or sweeter.
ROGERS'S "ITALY."
Of Rogers's "Italy," Luttrell relates,
"It would have been dish'd but for its fine plates."
Pamphlet last week, in his fantastic fits,
Was ask'd, "How he lived?" He said, "By's wits."
Pamphlet, I see, tells lies by the clock;
How can he live upon so poor a stock?
Tom thank'd the priest who changed his state, For binding fast himself and Kate,
"Wedlock's the end of life," he cried : "Too true, alas;" said Jack, and sigh'd; """Twill be the end of mine!"
U-nite and untie are the same—so say yo-U
N-ot in wedlock, I ween has the unity bee-N
I-n the drama of marriage each wandering gou T
T-o a new face would fly-all except you and I
E-ach seeking to alter the spell in their scen-E
THE FATE OF HIGHGATE.
At Highgate, by salubrious air,
Had thriven butchers, bakers;
But since a doctor settled there,
None thrive but undertakers.
The first of all the royal infant males
Should take the title of the Prince of Wales;
Because 'tis clear to seamen and to lubber,
Babies and whales are both inclined to blubber.
"Taxes are equal, is a dogma which
I'll prove at once," exclaim'd a Tory boor, "Taxation hardly presses on the rich,
And likewise presses hardly on the poor."
How sad the lot through life's bleak wilderness to stroll,
And feel the leaden hand of Care upon your
THE THREE WIVES. A JUBILATION.
My first was a lady, whose dominant passion
Was thorough devotion to parties and fashion ;
My second regardless of conjugal duty,
Was only the worse for her wonderful beauty;
My third was a vixen in temper and life,
Without one essential to make a good wite.
Jubilate! at last in my freedom I revel;
For I'm clear of the world, and the flesh, and the devil!
Our life is nothing but a winter's day;
Some only break their fast, and so away;
Others stay dinner, and depart full fed;
The deepest age but sups, and goes to bed:
He's most in debt, that lingers out the day,
Who dies betimes, has less and less to pay.
Fresh from his books, an arch but studious boy,
Twirl'd with resilient glee his mobile toy;
And while on single pivot foot it set,
Whisk'd round the board in whirring pirouette,
Shriek'd, as its figures flew too fast to note 'em,
Te totum amo, amo te, Teetotum.
A justice walking o'er the frozen Thames,
The ice about him round began to crack,
He said to 's man, "Here is some danger,
James,
I pr'ythee help me over on thy back."
SEEING A FRIEND.
To walk a mile a friend to see,
Thou ask'st if I disdain;
I walk it oft, but see not thee,
And walk it back again.
To go a mile to see thee, know,
My friend, I grudge not ought;
But then I grudge to travel two,
And that to see thee not.
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