TULIPS AND ROSES.

My Rosa from the latticed grove,

Brought me a sweet bouquet of posies,
And ask'd, as round my neck she clung,
If tulips I preferred to roses?

"I cannot tell, sweet wife," I sigh'd,
"But kiss me ere I see the posies;"
She did, "Oh, I prefer," I cried,
"Thy two lips to a dozen roses."

ON A FAMOUS WATER SUIT.

My wonder is really boundless,
That among the queer cases we try,
A land-case should often be groundless,
And a water-case always be dry!

THE PRUDENT CHOICE.

Saxe.

"Good morning, dear Major," quoth Lieutenant B—,

"So you're married, I here, to the little Miss

E—;

Is it true that she scarcely comes up to your knee?"

"It is, dear Lieutenant, and this I contest, That of all human evils the least is the best."

BIBO AND CHARON.

When Bibo thought fit from the world to retreat,

And full of champagne as an egg's full of meat, He walk'd in the boat, and to Charon he said, He would be row'd back, for he was not yet dead.

Trim the boat, and sit quiet, stern Charon replied,

You may have forgot you were drunk when you

died.

Prior.

HINT TO THOSE WHO CANNOT SWIM.
A man escaped a watery grave,
Protests that he no more will lave,
Or even venture to the brim,
Until completely taught—to swim.

HYPOCRISY.

Hypocrisy will serve as well

To propagate a church as zeal;
As persecution and promotion

Do equally advance devotion:

So round white stones will serve, they say,
As well as eggs to make hens lay.

Butler.

KISSING CASUISTRY.

When Sarah Jane, the moral Miss,
Declares 'tis very wrong to kiss,

I'll bet a shilling I see through it:
The damsel, fairly understood,
Feels just as any Christian should,—
She'd rather suffer wrong than do it!

THE FOOL AND THE POET.

Sir, I admit your general rule,

Saxe.

That every poet is a fool;

But you yourself may serve to show it,
That every fool is not a poet.

THE WEATHER.

Pope.

In England, if two are conversing together, The subject begins with the state of the weather;

And ever the same, both with young and with old, 'Tis either too hot, or either too cold;

'Tis either too wet, or either too dry;

The glass is too low, or else 'tis too high.

But if all had their wishes once jumbled together,

The devil himself could not live in such weather.

BIBO AND CHARON.

When Bibo thought fit from the world to retreat,

And full of champagne as an egg's full of meat, He walk'd in the boat, and to Charon he said, He would be row'd back, for he was not yet dead.

Trim the boat, and sit quiet, stern Charon replied,

You may have forgot you were drunk when you

died.

Prior.

HINT TO THOSE WHO CANNOT SWIM.
A man escaped a watery grave,
Protests that he no more will lave,
Or even venture to the brim,
Until completely taught-to swim.

HYPOCRISY.

Hypocrisy will serve as well

To propagate a church as zeal;
As persecution and promotion

Do equally advance devotion:

So round white stones will serve, they say,
As well as eggs to make hens lay.

Butler.

KISSING CASUISTRY.

When Sarah Jane, the moral Miss,
Declares 'tis very wrong to kiss,

I'll bet a shilling I see through it:
The damsel, fairly understood,
Feels just as any Christian should,-
She'd rather suffer wrong than do it!

THE FOOL AND THE POET.

Sir, I admit your general rule,

Saxe.

That every poet is a fool;

But you yourself may serve to show it,
That every fool is not a poet.

THE WEATHER.

Pope.

In England, if two are conversing together, The subject begins with the state of the weather;

And ever the same, both with young and with old,

'Tis either too hot, or either too cold;

'Tis either too wet, or either too dry;

The glass is too low, or else 'tis too high.

But if all had their wishes once jumbled together,

The devil himself could not live in such weather.