Ford. Nevos Fal. Hang him, poor cuckoldly knave! I know Fal. Of wh quality was your love then? him not-yet I wrong him to call him poor; they Ford. Lika fair houfe, built upon another man's fay, the jealous wittoly knave hath maffes of money; ground; at I have loft my edifice, by mistaking for the which, his wife feems to me well-favour'd. aere I erected it. I will ufe her as the key of the cuckoldly rogue's what purpofe have you unfolded this coffer; and there's my harvest-home. the plar Fal to me Ford. I would you knew Ford, fir; that you might avoid him, if you faw him. Frd. When I have told you that, I have told you all. Some fay, that, though the appear honeft Fal. Hang him, mechanical falt-butter rogue! I to me, yet, in other places, the enlargeth her mirth will ftare him out of his wits; I will awe him with fo far, that there is fhrewd conftruction made my cudgel; it fhall hang like a meteor o'er the of her. Now, fir John, here is the heart of my cuckold's horns: mafter Brook, thou shalt know, I purpose: You are a gentleman of excellent breed-will predominate over the peafant, and thou fhait ing, admirable difcourfe, of great admittance 1, au- lye with his wife.-Come to me foon at night:thentic in your place and perfon, generally allow'd2 | Ford's a knave, and I will aggravate his stile; thou, for your many war-like, court-like, and learned mafter Brook, fhalt know him for knave and cuckpreparations. old:-come to me foon at night. Fal. O fir! [Exit. For d. What a damn'd Epicurean rascal is this!-Ford. Believe it, for you know it:-There is My heart is ready to crack with impatience.-Who money; fpend it, fpend it; spend more; fpend all fays, this is improvident jealoufy? my wife hath fent I have; only give me fo much of your time in ex-to him, the hour is fix'd, the match is made:change of it, as to lay an amiable fiege to the ho-Would any man have thought this? See the hell of neity of this Ford's wife: uie your art of wooing, having a falfe woman! my bed fhall be abus'd, my win her to confent to you; if any man may, you coffers ranfack'd, my reputation gnawn at; and I may as foon as any. fhall not only receive this villainous wrong, but Fal. Would it apply well to the vehemence of ftand under the adoption of abominable terms, and your affection, that I fhould win what you would by him that does me this wrong. Terms! names! enjoy? methinks, you prefcribe to yourself very-Amaimon founds well; Lucifer, well; Barbaprepofterously. fon, well; yet they are devils' additions, the names Ford. O, understand my drift! she dwells fo fe- of fiends: but cuckold! wittol! cuckold! the devil curely on the excellency of her honour, that the himself hath not fuch a name. Page is an afs, a folly of my foul dares not prefent itfelf; fhe is too fecure afs; he will truft his wife, he will not be bright to be look'd against. Now, could I come to jealous: I will rather truft a Fleming with my her with any detection in my hand, my defires had butter, parfon Hugh the Welchman with my cheefe, 3 inftance and argument to commend themfelves; an Irishman with my aqua vitæ bottle, or a thief to I could drive her then from the ward 4 of her purity, walk my ambling gelding, than my wife with herher reputation, her marriage-vow, and a thousand felf; then the plots, then the ruminates, then she other her defences, which now are too too strongly devifes: and what they think in their hearts they embattled against me: What say you to't, fir John? may effect, they will break their hearts but they Fal. Mafter Brook, I will first make bold with will effect. Heaven be prais'd for my jealousy !— your money; next, give me your hand; and laft, as Eleven o'clock the hour;--I will prevent this, deI am a gentleman, you shall, if you will, enjoy tect my wife, be reveng'd on Falstaff, and laugh at Ford's wife. Page: I will about it;-better three hours too foon, than a minute too late. Fie, fie, fie! cuckold! cuckold! cuckold! Ford. O good fir! Fal. Mafter Brook, I fay you fhall. Ford. Want no money, fir John, you shall want none. Fal. Want no mistress Ford, master Brook, you fhall want none. I fhall be with her (I may tell you) by her own appointment; even as you came in to me, her affiftant, or go-between, parted from me: I fay, I fhall be with her between ten and eleven; for at that time the jealous rafcally knave, her husband, will be forth. Come you to me at night; you fhall know how I speed. [Exit. Rug. 'Tis paft the hour, fir, that fir Hugh promis'd to meet. Caius. By gar, he has fave his foul, dat he is no Ford. I am bleft in your acquaintance. Do you come; he has pray his Pible vell, dat he is no come: know Ford, fir? by gar, Jack Rugby, he is dead already, if he be corne. Meaning, admitted into all, or the greatest companies. 2 Allowed is approved. 3 Inflance is example. Meaning, the defence of it. Rug R. He is wife, fir; he knew, your worship a wife and patient churchman: you must go with woud kill him, if he came. me, mafter doctor. Ch. By gar, de herring is no dead, fo as I vill lem. Take your rapier, Jack; I vill tell you how I vill kill him. Rag. Alas, fir, I cannot fence. Cul. Villan-a, take your rapier. g. Fortear; here' company. Eater Hof, Shallow, Slender, and Page. H. Bless thee, bully doctor. Gas. Vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come for? H. To fee thee fight, to fee thee foin 1, to fee thee traverfe, to fee thee here, to fee thee there; to fee the país thy punto, thy ftock 2, thy reverse, thy citance, thy montant. Is he dead, my Ethiopian ? is he dead, my Francifco? ha, bully! What fays my Elculapius? my Galen? my heart of elder 3 ha' is he dead, bully Stale? is he dead? Catas. By gar, he is de coward Jack priest of the vorld; he is not fhew his face. Het. Thou art a Caftilian 5 king, Urinal! Hector of Greece, my boy! Gas. I pray you bear vitnefs that me have stay Ex or leven, two, tree hours for him, and he is no Pase. Muter Shallow, you have yourself been a great fighter, though now a man of peace. SL Body-king, mafter Page, though I now be old, and of the peace, if I fee a sword out, my finger tches to make one; though we are justices, Hoft. Pardon, guest justice :-/ -A word, monfieur mock-water 7. Caius. Mock-vater! vat is dat ? Hoff. Mock-water, in our Englifh tongue, is va lour, bully. Caius. By gar, then I have as much mock-vater as de Englishman :-Scurvy-jack-dog-priest! by gar, me vill cut his ears. Heft. He will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully. Hoft. And I will provoke him to 't, or let him it do well? Shal. We will do it. Al. Adieu, good mafter doctor. [Extant Page, Shallow, and Slender. Caius. By gar, me vill kill de prieft; for he speak for a jack-a-nape to Anne Page. Hot. Let him die: but, firft, fheath thy impatience; throw cold water on thy choler: go about the fields with me through Frogmore; I will bring thee where mistress Anne Page is, at a farmhouse a featting; and thou shalt woo her: Cry'd game 8, faid I well? Caius. By gar, me tank you for dat: by gar, I doctors, and churchmen, mafter Page, we love you; and I fhall procure-a you de good guest, bare fome falt of our youth in us; we are the fons i de earl, de knight, de lords, de gentlemen, my of women, matter Page. Page. 'Tis true, mafter Shallow. Shal. It will be found fo, master Page. Mafter doctor Caius, I am come to fetch you home. I am fworn of the peace: you have thew'd yourself| awie phyfician, and fir Hugh hath fhewn himself patients. Hoft. For the which, I will be thy adversary toward Anne Page; faid I well? Caius. By gar, 'tis good; vell faid. Gaius. Come at my heels, Jack Rugby. [Exeunt. To fein, was the ancient term for making a thruft in fencing, or tilting. 2 Stock is a corruption of facută, Ital. from which language the technical terins that follow, are alfo adopted. 3 We muft remember, to make this joke relish, that the elder tree has no heart. Probably this expreffion was made ufe of in oppofition to the common one, heart of oak. 4 The reafon for calling Caius bally Stale, and afterwards Urinal, must be fufficiently obvious to every reader. 5 Caftilian and Etiopian, like Catalan, appear in our author's time to have been cant terms. 6 This is a prover bphrafe, and is taken from ftroking the hair of animals a contrary way to that in which it grows, aas of fimilar import with that now in ufe, against the grain. 7 Perhaps by mock-water, is meant terfeit. The water of a gem is a technical term. Dr. Warburton thinks it fhould be tead ts, CRY AIM, fd I well i. e. confent to it, approve of it. Have not I made a good propofal ? fr to cry aim fignifies to confent to, or approve of any thing. The phrafe was taken origmally from archery. Mr. Steevens defends, however, the prefent reading, and conjectures, that cry'd game might mean in those days-a profess'd buck, one who was as well known by the report of gullagery, as he could have been by proclamation, ACT PRAY you now, good mafter Slender's ferving-man, and friend Simple by your name, which way have you looked for master Caius, that calls himself Doctor of Phyfick? Simp. Marry, fir, the Pitty-wary, the Parkward, every way; old Windfor way, and every way but the town way. Eva. I most fehemently defire you, you will alfo look that way. Sim. I will, fir. III. fon, is at most odds with his own gravity, and patience, that ever you faw. Shal. I have liv'd fourfcore years, and upward; I never heard a man of his place, gravity, and learning, fo wide of his own refpect. Eva. What is he? Page. I think you know him; mafter doctor Caius, the renowned French phyfician. Eva. Got's will, and his paflion o' my heart! I had as lief you would tell me of a mefs of porridge. Page. Why? Eva. He has no more knowledge in Hibocrates and Galen,--and he is a knave befides; a cowardly knave, as you would defires to be acquainted withal. Page. I warrant you, he's the man should fight with him. Slen. O, fweet Anne Page! Enter Hof, Caius, and Rugby. Shal. It appears fo, by his weapons :-Keep them afunder;-here comes doctor Caius. Page. Nay, good mafter parfon, keep in your weapon. Shal. So do you, good master doctor. Hof. Difarm them, and let them question; let them keep their limbs whole, and hack our English. Caius. I pray you, let-a me fpeak a word vit your ear: Verefore vill you not meet-a me ? Eva. Pray you, use your patience: In good time. Caius. By gar, you are de coward, de Jack dog, Simp. Yonder he is coming, this way, fir Hugh. John ape. By fhallow rivers, to whofe falls Eva. Pray you, let us not be laughing-ftogs to other men's humours; I defire you in friendship, and will one way or other make you amends :---I Heaven profper the right !-What weapons is he? Eva. Pray you, give me my gown; or elfe keep it in your arms. ments. Caius. Diable!-Jack Rugby,-mine Hot de farterre, have I not ftay for him, to kill him? have I not, at de place I did appoint? Eva. As I am a chriftians foul, now, look you, this is the place appointed; I'll be judgment by Enter Page, Shallow, and Slender. Shal. How now, mafter parfon ? Good-morrow, good fir Hugh. Keep a gamefter from the dice, and a good student from his book, and it is won-mine hoft of the Garter. derful. Slen. Ah fweet Anne Page !, Page. Save you, good fir Hugh! Eva. 'Plefs you from his mercy fake, all of you! Shal. What! the fword and the word! do you ftudy them both, mafter parfon ? Page. And youthful ftill, in your doublet and hofe, this raw rheumatick day? Eva. There is reafons and causes for it, Hoft. Peace, I fay, Gallia and Gaul, French and Welch, foul-curer and body-curer. Caius. Ay, dat is very good! excellent! Hoft. Peace, I fay; hear mine host of the Garter. Am I politick? am I fubtle? am I a Machiavel? Shall I lose my doctor? no; he gives me the potions, and the motions. Shall I lofe my parfon? my prieft? my fir Hugh? no; he gives me the pro-verbs, and the no-verbs. Give me thy Page. We are come to you, to do a good office, hand, terrestrial; so :-Give me thy hand, celeftial: mafter parfon, Eva.. Fery well: What is it? Page. Yonder is a most reverend gentleman, who, belike, having receiv'd wrong by fome per I I fo.-Boys of art, I have deceiv'd you both; have directed you to wrong places: your hearts are mighty, your skins are whole, and let burnt fack, be the flue.-Come, lay their fwords to pawn;— The old editions read, the Pittie-ward, the modern editors, the Pilly-wary. There are now no places anfwering to either of thefe names at Windfor. Follow Follow me, lad of peace; follow, follow, follow. he gives her folly motion, and advantage: and now Seal Truft me, a mad hoft.-Follow, gentle-fhe's going to my wife, and Falstaff's boy with her. men, follow. Sen. O, fweet Anne Page! [Exeunt Shal. Slen. Page, and Hoft. Cains. Ha! do I perceive dat? have you makea de lot of us? ha! ha! E. This is well; he has made us his vloutingAng—I defire you, that we may be friends; and ket is knog our prains together, to be revenge on tas fame scald 1, fcurvy, cogging companion, the both of the Garter. C. By gar, vịt all my heart; he promise to bring me vere is Anne Page: by gar, he deceive Enter Miftrefs Page and Robin. M. Page. Nay, keep your way, little gallant: you were wont to be a follower, but now you are à exder: Whether had you rather lead mine eyes, or are your mafter's heels? Pk. I had rather, forfooth, go before you like a man, then follow him like a dwarf. Mr. Pazz. O, you are a flattering boy; now I fee, you'll be a courtier. Exter Ford. Fed. Well met, miftrefs Page: Whither go you? Mr. Page. Truly, fir, to fee your wife; is the A man may hear this thower fing in the wind!-and Falttail's boy with herGood plots!they are laid; and our revolted wives thare damnation together. Well; I will take him, then torture my wife, pluck the borrow'd veil of modesty from the fo feeming 2 mittrefs Page, divulge Page himself for a fecure and wilful Actron; and to these violent proceedings all my neighbours fhall cry aim 3. The clock gives me my cue, and my affurance bids me fearch; there I shall find Falftaff: I fhall be rather prais'd for this, than mock'd; for it is as pofitive as the earth is firm, that Falstaff is there: I will go. Enter Page, Shallow, Slender, Hoft, Evans, and Caius. Shal. Page, &c. Well met, mafter Ford. Ford. Truit me, a good knot: I have good cheer at home; and, I pray you, all go with me. Shal. I must excufe myself, mafter Ford. Slen. And fo muft I, fir; we have appointed to dine with miftrefs Anne, and I would not break with her for more money than I'll speak of. Shal. We have linger'd about a match between Anne Page and my coufin Slender, and this day we fhall have our answer. Sin. I hope, I have your good-will, father Page. Page. You have, mafter Slender; I ftand wholly for you:--but my wife, mafter doctor, is for you altogether. Calus. Ay, by gar, and de maid is love-a-me; my nurth-a Quickly tell me fo muth. Hoft. What fay you to young mafter Fenton? he capers, he dances, he has eyes of youth, he writes verfes, he fpeaks holy-day, he fmells April and May: he will carry 't, he will carry 't; 'tis in his Tord. Av; and as idle as the may hang together, for want of company: I think, if your hutbands were dead, you two would marry. Mrs. Pag. Be fure of that, two other huf-buttons 5; he will carry 't. Page. Not by my confent, I promife you. The gentleman is of no having; he kept company with the wild prince and Poins; he is of too high a region, he knows too much. No, he shall not knit a knot in his fortunes with the finger of my fubftance: if he take her, let him take her fimply; the wealth I have waits on my confent, and my confent goes not that way. Food. I beseech you, heartily, fome of you go home with me to dinner: befides your cheer, you fhall have fport; I will fhew you a moniter.-Mafter doctor, you fhall go;-fo fhall you, mailer Page;—and you, tir Hugh. Shal. Well, fare you well:-we shall have the freer wooing at mafter Page's. Caius. Go home, John Rugby; I come anon. Hoft. Farewell, my hearts: I will to my honeft knight Falttaff, and drink canary with him. 3 That 1 Stall was an old word of reproach, as fab was afterwards. 2 Seeming is fpecious. 13. Chail encourage. 4 That is, in an high-flown, fuflian tyle. It was called a holy-day style, from the old cultom of acting their farces of the mysteries and moralities, which were turgid and bombat, an holy-days. s This alludes to an old custom among the country fellows, of ag whether they should fucceed with their miftreffes, by carrying the batchelor's buttons a plant whofe flowers refemble a coat-button) in their pockets; and they judged of their good or bad fuccefs, by their growing, or their not growing there. 6 Having is the fame as eftate or Ford. Ford. Afide. I think, I fhall drink in pipewine first with him; I'll make him dance. Will you go, gentles? Fal. Miftrefs Ford, I cannot cog, I cannot prate, miftrefs Ford. Now fhall I fin in my with: I would thy husband were dead; I'll fpeak it before All. Have with you, to fee this monster. [Exeunt. the best lord, I would make thee my lady. Mrs. Ford. I your lady, fir John! alas, I should be a pitiful lady. Fal. Let the court of France fhew me fuch ano Enter Mrs. Ford, Mrs. Page, and fervants with a ther; I fee how thine eye would emulate the dia basket. Mrs. Ford. What, John! what, Robert! basket Mrs. Ford. I warrant : -What, Robin, I fay, Mrs. Page. Give your men the charge; we muft mond: Thou haft the right arched bent of the brow, that becomes the thip-tire, the tire-valiant, or any tire of Venetian admittance 4. Mrs. Ford. A plain kerchief, fir John: my brows become nothing else; nor that well neither. Fal. Thou art a traitor 5 to fay fo; thou would'ft make an abfolute courtier; and the firm fixture of thy foot would give an excellent motion to thy gait, in a femi-circled farthingale. I fee what thou wert, Mrs. Ford. Marry, as I told you before, John, if fortune thy foe were not; nature is thy friend : and Robert, be ready here hard by in the brew-Come, thou canst not hide it. houfe; and when I fuddenly call on you, come Mrs. Ford. Believe me, there's no fuch thing forth, and (without any paufe, or staggering) take in me. be brief. this basket on your fhoulders: that done, trudge Fal. What made me love thee? let that perwith it in all hafte, and carry it among the whit-fuade thee, there's fomething extraordinary in fters in Datchet mead, and there empty it in the muddy ditch, clofe by the Thames fide. Mrs. Page. You will do it? Mrs. Ford. I have told them over and over; they lack no direction: Be gone, and come when You are call'd. [Exeunt Servants. Mrs. Page. Here comes little Robin. Enter Robin. Mrs. Ford. How now, my eyas-musket 2? what revs with you? Rob. My mafter fir John is come in at your back-door, miftrefsFord; and requests your company. Mrs. Page. You little Jack-a-lent 3, have you been true to us? Rob. Ay, I'll be fworn: My mafter knows not of your being here; and hath threaten'd to put me into everlasting liberty, if I tell you of it; for, he fwears, he'll turn me away. Mrs. Page. Thou 'rt a good boy; this fecrecy of thine fhall be a tailor to thee, and fhall make thee a new doublet and hofe.--I'll go hide me. Mrs. Ford. Do fo: Go tell thy mafter, I am alone. Miftrefs Page, remember you your cue. [Exit Robin. Mrs. Page, I warrant thee; if I do not act it, hifs me. [Exit Mrs. Page. Mrs. Ford. Go to then ;-we'll ufe this unwholfome humidity, this grofs watry pumpion ;--we'll teach him to know turtles from jays. Enter Falfaff. thee. Come, I cannot cog, and fay, thou art this and that, like a many of thefe lifping haw-thorn buds, that come like women in men's apparel, and (mell like Bucklers-bury in fimple time; 1 cannot; but I love thee; none but thee; and thou deferveft it. 6 Mrs. Ford. Do not betray me, fir; I fear you love miftrefs Page. Fal. Thou might'ft as well fay I love to walk by the Counter-gate; which is as hateful to me as the reek of a lime-kiln. Mrs. Ford. Well, heaven knows how I love you; and you thali one day find it. Fal. Keep in that mind; I'll deferve it. Mrs. Ford. Nay, I muft tell you, fo you do ; or elie I could not be in that mind. Rob. [Within.] Miftrefs Ford, mistress Ford! here's miitrefs Page at the door, fweating, and blowing, and looking wildly, and would needs speak with you presently. Fal. She fhall not fee me; I will enfconce me behind the arras. Mrs. Ford. Pray you, do fo; fhe's a very tattling woman.[Failaff bides himself. Enter Miftrefs Page, What's the matter? how now ? Mrs. Page. O miftrefs Ford, what have you done? you're fham'd, you are overthrown, you are undone for ever. Mrs. Ford. What's the matter, good mistress Fal. Have I caught thee, my heavenly jewel? | Why, now let me die, for I have liv'd long enough; | Page? this is the period of my ambition: O this blefled hour! Mrs. Ford. O fweet fir John! Mrs. Page. O well-a-day, mistress Ford! having an honest man to your huíband, to give him fuch caufe of fufpicion! Pipe is known to be a veffel of wine, now containing two hogfheads. Pipe wine is therefore wine, not from the bottle, but the fipe; and the text confifts in the ambiguity of the word, which fignifics both a cafk of wine, and a mufical inftrument. 2 Eyas-mufket is the fame as infant Lilliputian, 3 A Jack o' lent was a puppet thrown at in Lent, like fhrove-cocks. The fpeaker here tells his milliels, the had a face that would become all the head-dreffes in fashion. 5 That is, to thy own merit. 6 Bucklers-bury, in the time of Shakipeare, was chiefly inhabited by druggists, who fold all kinds of herbs, green as well as dry, Mrs. Ford, |