But ere he sunk his head in sleep, Along the heath to work were going, With horror and dismay confound him. With look and tone both wondrous civil. Then eyeing well the ugliest man, Who grinn'd most horribly with joy,"I hope an honest gauger here "Your highness never will annoy. "On earth a gauger true I was ; "But, Mister Devil, if it please ye, "At any job of dirty work "I'll do my best, great sire, to please ye. "Whatever place in hell ye like, "With honest heart I will endeavour "To fill my part with burning zeal, "And merit your good word for ever." The gauger spoke-when peals of fun Burst from the devils ranged around him; Their sooty looks and gleaming eyes Were quite sufficient to astound him. He screamed aloud with abject fear, "Oh spare me, Mister Devil, spare me ! "Let not your cinders burn me up, "Let not your angry talons tear me !" "Well," quoth the Devil," swear by me, I swear, I swear, by heav'n and earth, "My hand shall ever be forbearing." MONSIEUR KANIFERSTANE. By Dutchmen mann'd, and bound for Amsterdam. Wind and tide serving, off he sails away, And soon sea-sick beyond finesse or sham, Close in the cabin he preferred to nestle: There, faint and languid, for a space he dozed, Till, from th' increased commotion in the vessel, That land might be in sight he well supposed; So to the deck he climb'd, with empty maw, And sure enough Dutch terra firma saw. While in the cabin sick and sad he lay, Though a true Frenchman,he ne'er dreamt of talking, But when on deck, his spirits grew more gay, And his blood 'gan to circulate with walking, He recollected that he had a tongue. Now though a Frenchman French with ease can jab And doubtless thinks all other ears are hung [ber, Like those he left at home, yet a Dutch swabber Is apt enough no other speech to know Than that which first he learn'd from Mother Frow. Such was the case with all the trunk-hosed crew. At length a sumptuous palace caught his sight, To whom belong'd that most enchanting place. The tar, who knew as much of French as Greek, Eyed him at first with something like disdain; Then, as he shifted round his quid to speak, With growling voice cried, "Ik kan nick verstaan." "Oh, oh," replied the marquis, "does it so ? "To Monsieur Kaniferstane?-lucky man! "The palace to be sure lies rather low, "But then the size and grandeur of the plan. "I never saw a chateau on the Seine "Equal to this of Monsieur Kaniferstane." While thus he spoke, the sailors anchor cast: And as the marquis stept upon the quay, He saw a charming frow that chanced to pass, In liveliest bloom of youth and beauty gay, Bedeck'd with all the Amsterdam parade Of gold and silver, pearls and jeweis rare. On the marquis she much impression made, His tender breast soon own'd a pleasing flame: Stopping a passenger, he bowing said, "Monsieur, pray tell me who's that lovely dame." The civil Dutchman bow'd to him again, And gently answer'd, “Ik kan nick verstaan." "What, Monsieur Kaniferstane's wife," the marquis cried: "He who has got yon gay and sumptuous house! "Well, that some men have luck, can't be denied ; "What, such an edifice, and such a spouse! "Ma foi, I think I never could complain, Where bustling crowds were going in and out. [claim'd, Some laughed, some wept and groan'd, and some ex- The sovereign prize of twenty thousand guilders. "And who," the marquis cried to one close by,"Who has the luck this mighty prize to gain ?" The man survey'd him with a doubtful eye, And slowly answered," Ik kan nick verstaan." "What, Monsieur Kaniferstane got the prize!" The marquis cried; "he's lucky, on my life! "He who has got a house of such a size, "And such a garden too, and such a wife! "Diable! you may very well be vain, "With all these treasures, Monsieur Kanifer stane." A week or two elapsed, when as he stray'd, On novelty intent, he chanced to meet, Adorn'd with solemn pomp and grave parade, A sumptuous burial coming up the street. "Monsieur," said he, as bowing to a baker Who left his shop the pageantry to see, And just had nodded to the undertaker, "Pray, Monsieur, whose grand burial may this be?" The baker, as he turn'd to shop again, Replied most gravely, " Ik kan nick verstaan." "He had the noblest palace in this city, THE ONE-LEGGED GOOSE. A wealthy gentleman in Hertfordshire, With the affairs of state, But led a calm domestic life, Far from the noise of town and party strife. Took, during sermon-time, his usual snore; And then walk'd comfortably home to dinner. Who into such affairs have never look'd, I think I'd better mention by the way, That dinners, ere they're eaten, should be cook'd, At least, our squire's were so before he took 'em, For this most gracious queen of kitchen stuff, (Of lusty beauty quite a master-piece) This modern maid of fat Surpass'd the famous dames of Greece; |