form, than I began to assume the reins of authority; and, as soon as I had stepped out of the carriage which conveyed us home, I gave the servants to understand, that they were to receive all their orders from me: I appointed the time for the introduction of the chamber-candles, settled the breakfast hour, and adjusted the arrangements for the morning. All this was quietly acquiesced in; but, when I began to choose every pipe of wine according to my own fancy, and to name the price that should be given for my husband's saddlehorses; when I began to interfere between himself and his tailor, to lay wholesome restraint on his appetite, and to make a variety of petty articles contraband, which he saw were freely permitted in every family but his own; his pride was worked up to a great pitch of fury, and mutual hostilities began the whole economy of the house was soon overturned; and the servants, from the fear of disobliging the one or the other, disobeyed us both: our provisions grew every day shorter and shorter; for, whatever joint was brought to table, it was sure to give some displeasure to one or the other; it was either too salt, or too fresh; too little, or too much done; and the baker was put to his inventions, to mottle a loaf of so dubious a gray, that both our tastes might be in some degree consulted.

"Thus circumstanced were our affairs, when I found myself far advanced in the situation so natural to married women. At the birth of an infant, terrible contests arose about the three ways of bringing it up either of these might have done but the difficulty was to bring our disputes to an issue; and before this could be effected, the baby died. Grief for this accident produced a peace for one quarter of a year, when an unexpected wind

;

fall raised a fresh hurricane about our ears. By the will of a distant relation, we were entitled to the sum of thirty thousand pounds, whenever we should make known to the executor the precise stock in which we could agree to have it invested. My husband, who, by the way, was never well instructed in the nature of the funds, peremptorily declared in favour of Bank Stock; whereas, ever since the proving of the will, I had set my mind upon South-Sea Annuities. This dissension, however, after having deprived us of the interest of the legacy for one twelvemonth, was too sensibly felt to last much longer; and as my husband promised to give me up a third part for my own disposal, the moment I should accede to his opinion, after much struggle, I gave up the point.

"Now, then, for the first time since our nuptials, in the same room, in the same tone of voice, did we order the chariot to the door; and though we had full half a mile to ride, yet we both exerted wonderful forbearance, till we arrived at the house of Mr. C―, the executor. Here I ordered a very thundering rap at the door to be given, which a little disconcerted my husband, who had been afflicted the whole morning with a violent head-ache. Mr. C was not at home, but we were assured he would return in five minutes. Well, Sir, with admirable patience did we suppport these five minutes at last Mr. Centered; but as my husband rushed by me, to pay his proper compliments, his knee-buckle caught in my delicate muslin gown, and away it flew into a hundred threads. This was too much I had only temper to bring out the words South-Sea Annuities; and throwing myself into my chariot, desired to be driven home.

"From that time we ceased to eat at the same

table, and sleep in the same chamber; till my husband, one morning, to my great surprise, entered my apartment, with a countenance full of sorrow and softness. After a little conversation, he recommended to me the perusal of your third number; a request I could not refuse, as it was urged with such becoming humility. As soon as I had read it, he pressed me, with an irresistible grace, to join with him in adopting some of the regulations of your society, as the means of rendering our future lives harmonious. As I dote on oddity and whim, I struck a league with him on the spot. We accordingly agreed on the abolition of superlatives, and the establishment of an echo. The steward received a joint command to draw up articles of pacification, in which it was stipulated, that we might continue our arguments on every subject till the interference of the echo. The articles were signed with proper solemnity, and each party hastened to fit up a temple to the Goddess of Sound.

"I saw, with silent horror, my drawing-room stripped of its furniture: its girandoles parted with, much under their value; my register-stove removed, to afford a passage to the air; and a very beautiful paper supplanted by a coarse brown stucco. I was not behindhand, however, in making reprisals, and my husband's study was presently dismantled. Besides all this, our chamber was stripped of its furniture, and for many nights did we sleep without curtains or tester; but all was in vain, for the coy spirit was not to be raised we have therefore found it absolutely necessary to repair to the old mansion in Cumberland, where, as the doors unfolded, we were delighted to hear the grating of the hinges re-echo thrice along the moated castle. Here have we lived for five weeks,

and in such peace and harmony, as I had never any conception of before.

"The other day, however, the tumbling of an unlucky tile put us so strongly in mind of our own windfall, that the ancient dispute was revived, and we immediately repaired to the hall, which is always the place of disputation. There it was carried on with various success, till the echo decided in my favour. Had I been content with a sober triumph, my glory might have lasted through my life; but I must needs exult, and that in tones so forcible, that the whole roof was convulsed ; and nothing but South-Sea Annuities was heard for the space of twenty seconds.

"Well, Sir, to dwell no longer on a part of my life of which I am thoroughly ashamed, the Bank Stock is bought, and we live in affluence and content: we are now the happiest couple in all the country; and if curiosity should ever tempt you to visit the Lakes, you will find a most welcome reception at Noisy-Hall, from

"Your obliged and faithful humble servant, RACHEL UNRULY."

Noisy-Hall, Cumberland.

No. 15. SATURDAY, APRIL 28.

Ex fronte et vultu, etiam in ipso oris silentio, natura loquitur.

LACTANTIUS.

Nature speaks in the forehead, and the looks, and even in our very silence.

IT appears, without doubt, a little extraordinary, considering the returning fondness of the age for

the occult sciences, that I should so long have forborne to give the public a description of my physiognomy. The truth is, if I understand myself right, I have so just a sense of my own disparity in this particular, and am at the same time so apprehensive of forfeiting the little favour I may have conciliated among my fair country women, that I dare not come forward with the whole truth. Without proclaiming, therefore, the length of my nose, or the width of my forehead, I shall merely give my readers the outline of my figure.

I am a little pinched-up old man, and look as if I had been cased up and embalmed a century and a half. My mother tells me that I am the very counterpart of my great-grandfather; and that, when I have on my figured roquelaure, or my purple coat with the large cuffs, she can almost persuade herself that our ancestor's portrait is walking out of its frame. It has been a remarkable peculiarity in the Olive-Branch family, that they have all looked as old at twenty-five as at sixty-three: and it used to be no small diversion to me to see myself led to the great chair with a soft bottom to it by the fire-side, at every first visit at a neighbour's house, before I had turned the corner of thirty. Old lady Downhill, who had heard at least twenty cuckoos more than myself, would never let me stoop to pick up my glove, and would often make a tender of her arm in walking to church. It used to give me pleasure to remark the freedoms the young ladies would allow themselves in my presence; and my ears have been regaled with little histories and confessions of the most interesting kind, while I have been thought fast asleep by the chimney-corner. I can very well remember that when I was at school, the formality of my face got me the nick-name of Conjuror; and