source took my fancy so much as that of writing for the press. With this I immediately retouched some satirical pieces, into which I had poured all my indignation, and sold them for trifling sums to a bookseller of no eminence, who appeared to esteem them so little that I never afterwards made any inquiries after them, or even looked for their characters in those monthly bills of literary mortality, the Reviews. They answered, however, the purpose of present relief; and kept me from that saddest of all degradations, the necessity of running into debt. By engaging in various booksellers' jobs, I gained a tolerable supply; and as I was subject to no interruptions, I made such despatch, that I was able, out of my savings, to send two or three little presents home, and, among others, some books on medicine, to my mother, who, finding it impossible to be bountiful in proportion to her feelings, was daily filling up the measure of her humanity by administering such comfort as was within her reach to the sick and the sorrowful. This experience of what I was able to perform towards my own support, fired me with an ambition to launch forth into the literary world in quality of Author, which situation I figured to myself as most correspondent to my feelings of independence. "Impressed myself with an awful respect for genius, I conceived that its claims must be heard whereever they were advanced; and that as soon as my title was acknowledged, it would ensure me place and precedency amidst the press of interest and the pride of fortune. Full of these illusory expectations, I wrote a very florid epistle to my father, in which I scrupled not to acquaint him with the irksomeness of my situation, as well as with the unprofitable penses to which I was subject, and painted the ad ex vantages of my plan of authorship in the best colours I was able. I proposed to take a lodging in town and immediately to enlist in the service of the booksellers, some of whom had suggested such tasks to me as they thought were suitable to my particular talents. My father, whose enthusiasm was not entirely vanquished, and who felt his old fires rekindle at the notion of enterprise and adventure, entered readily enough into the proposal. My mother resisted for a time, from a general habit of caution and timidity; but being furnished with no particular objections from experience, soon left the field to my father, who now growing heated with the project, as was his custom, urged me to hasten my departure from college, and to enter upon my brilliant career as soon as my arrangements could be made. My precipitancy corresponded with my father's impatience. In two days after the receipt of this letter, I cleared all my accounts in the University, and set off for London with a few guineas in my pocket, and a lighter heart than I had ever yet felt in the course of my life, except when I sallied out against a flying enemy from my little fortifications behind my father's house. "As soon as I arrived in town, I repaired to the house of a bookseller, with whom I had corresponded, and who had promised me accommodation and employment. My friend was as good as his word, and I entered immediately on this brilliant career, as my father had termed it, in a little room four stories high, which was my parlour, my study, and my chamber. From this elevated apartment, I looked out of my window, and proudly surveyed the little world below me, as a victorious general casts his eye over the country before him, which he soon expects to lay under contribution. Such were the extravas gant hopes I had suffered my fancy to indulge, which a few months were sufficient to disenchant. My employer, if rigid in his exactions, was punctual in his payments; and such was my zeal and assiduity in this undertaking, that in a quarter of a year I found money to follow up those presents to my parents, which had once already so sweetened the rewards of my diligence. I began to wonder, however, that I entered coffee-houses, and travelled the streets, without hearing my name mentioned, or my writings applauded. I never had supposed that genius stood in need of patronage, or talents of introduction; and as I then persuaded myself that I was not without these pretensions, my choler rose at the frigid indifference with which I was regarded, and my mind began again to fluctuate between pride and despondency. "One day, as I was passing through the shop, I observed a young man turning over some books with an air of contemptuous importance. As he looked round, I recognized a face which I had seen at college. It happened that this gentleman was one of those who had manifested a good disposition towards me, and had made frequent offers of service to me, which it suited not my pride to accept. I was no sooner perceived by him, than he made up to me with great cordiality, and endeavoured to engage me in conversation. Though I felt but little promptitude to push my acquaintance beyond its narrow limit, in my present quarrel with the world; yet there was something of originality and history in the countenance of this person, that interested my curiosity in spite of myself. He drew from me, somehow or other, the particulars of my situation, and the nature of my present engage 66 6 ments, of all which circumstances I observed that he made notes in a little book of memorandums. My dear Sir,' said he, putting his book into his pocket, it gives me concern to think that you have so egregiously lost your way in the pursuit of fame. The direct road which used to lead to its temple has long been barred, and there is no access left, but through by-ways and secret passages. As you have always had my esteem and good wishes, it is a sensible pleasure to me to be able to put you right, and to lay before you a chart of these cross-roads, with all the odd turnings, that will help to shorten the length and fatigues of your journey.' Here he proposed to me to step into a coffee-house, that he might be at liberty to detail those instructions which were to raise so rapidly my fortune in the world. As soon as we were seated, he thus continued :— I also was intended, Sir, for holy orders; but I was of a humour uncongenial with all professions; and my mind was too excursive, or my nature too volatile, to endure the confinement and buckram of any formal course of habit, or punctilious line of duty. I resolved to remain at large, and to take up at once the character of a gentleman, without sacrificing the most precious half of life to obtain it. In the life of an author I saw all that distinction of which I was enamoured, and a range of exertion very suitable to the vivacity of my temper and genius. I must confess too, that having but a small fund of my own to draw from, I saw vast room in this great town for the exercise of innocent chicane, in profiting by other men's superfluities of talent, and disguising my own deficiency; in which kind of resource I may say I have proved myself consummate. Thus prepared, I set out upon my career 66 6 66 6 about twelve months ago; and, notwithstanding the great competition which late years have produced among our fraternity, I soon acquired more than my just share of distinction, and am already considerable enough to be abused by half the town. By computing the ratio of this abuse for the last three months, I find that my credit is making very rapid advances; and, as I am pretty prodigal of abuse in my turn, I have reason to expect that my head, ere a month passes over it, will either appear in the pillory, or as a frontispiece to the next magazine.' "As this was all new ground to me, I expressed no small surprise at what I had heard: upon which he observed, that as I had not yet passed my noviciate, it was no wonder that these mysteries and sublimities of the art were above my comprehension; but a little experience would convince me that in these crooked times the ways of the learned are not the least oblique. Is fame your object?-Be assured, the common-place methods of labouring to deserve it, are the last now-a-days to succeed in obtaining it. If you persist in this obsolete course, you may extort a Dedication from a Dutch commentator, or be called an ingenious gentleman in the preface to a new rhyming dictionary; but your purse will remain empty, and your face unknown. "And now, Sir, what are your sentiments? Are you willing to follow the track which I have marked out for you, and which I believe you will find as profitable and easy as any?' I shook my head, and replied, that I was afraid I had not much talent for abuse; and moreover, that as this particular branch of literature required a disposition invulnerable to abuse from others, I knew myself to be very ill qualified for a member of his academy. Well, Sir,' continued he, I will lay some other schemes of |
