confcioufness of having done poor things, and a fhame of hearing of them, often make the compofition we call pride. LXXIV. An excufe is worfe and more terrible than a lie, for an excufe is a lie guarded. LXXV. Praife is like ambergreate a little whiff of it, and by inatches, is very agreeable; but when a man holds a whole lump of it to your nofe, it is a flink, and ftrikes you down. LXXVI. The general cry is against ingratitude, but fure the complaint is mifplaced, it should be againft vanity. None but direct villains are capable of wilful ingratitude; but almost every body is capable of thinking he hath done more than another deferves, while the other thinks he bath received lefs than he deferves. LXXVII. I never knew any man in my life, who could not bear another's misfortunes perfectly like a Christian. LXXVIII. Several explanations of cafuifts, to multiply the catalogue of fins, may be called amendments to the ten commandments. LXXIX. It is obfervable that the ladies frequent tragedies more than comedies: the reafon may be, that in tragedy their fex is deified and adored, in comedy expofed and ridiculed. LXXX. The character of covetoufiefs is what a man generally acquires more through fome niggardiinefs, or ill grace, in little and inconfiderable things, than in expeces of any confequence. A very few pounds a-year would cafe that man of the fcandal of avarice. VOL. V. P LXXXI Some EXXXI. Some men's wit is like a dark lanthorn, which ferves their own turn, and guides them their own way: but is never known (according to the fcripture phrase) either to fhine forth before men, or to glorify their father in heaven. LXXXII. It often happens, that thofe are the best people, whofe characters have been moft injured by flanderers, as we ufually find that to be the sweetest fruit which the birds have been picking at. LXXXIII. The people all running to the capital city, is like a confluence of all the animal fpirits to the heart; a fymptom that the conftitution is in danger. LXXXIV. The wonder we often exprefs at our neighbours keeping dull company, would leffen, if we reflected, that most people feek companions lels to be talked to, than to talk. LXXXV. Amusement is the happiness of those that cannot think. LXXXVI.' Never fray dinner for a clergyman, who is to make a morning vifit ere he comes; for he will think it his duty to dine with any greater man that afks him. LXXXVII. A contented man is like a good tennis-player, who never fatigues and confounds himself with running eternally after the ball, but itays till it comes to him. LXXXVIII. Two things are equally unaccountable to reafon, and not the object of reasoning: the wisdom of God and the madness of man. LXXXIX. Ma LXXXIX. Many men, prejudiced early in disfavour of mankind by bad maxims, never aim at making friendships; and while they only think of avoiding the evil, mifs of the good that would meet them. They begin the world knaves, for prevention, while others only end fo, after disappointment. XC. No woman ever hates a man for being in love with her; but many a woman hates a man for being a friend to her. XCI. The eye of a critic is often like a microscope, made so very fine and nice, that it discovers the atoms, grains, and minutest particles, without ever comprehending the whole, comparing the parts, or seeing all at once the harmony. XCII. A king may be a tool, a thing of ftraw; but if he ferves to frighten our enemies, and fecure our property, it is well enough: a scare crow is a thing of ftraw, but it protects the corn. XCIII. The greatest things and the moft praife-worthy, that can be done for the public good, are not what require great parts, but great honefty: therefore for a king to make an amiable character, he needs only to be a man of common honesty well advised. XCIV. Notwithstanding the common complaint of the knavery of men in power, I have kuown no great minifters or men of parts in bufinefs fo wicked as their inferiors; their sense and knowledge preferve them from a hundred common rogueries, and when they become bad, it is generally more from a neceffity of their fituation, than from a natural bent to evil. XCV. What P 2 XCV. Whatever may be faid against a premier or fole minifter, the evil of fuch an one, in an abfolute government, may not be great for it is poffible, that almost any mi nister may be a better man than a king born and bred. XCVI. A man coming to the water-fide is furrounded by all the crew; every one is officious, every one making ap plications, every one offering his fervices; the whole bustle of the place feems to be only for him. The fame man going from the water-fide, no noife is made about him, no creiture takes notice of him, all let him pafs with utter negle! the picture of a minister when he comes into power, and when he goes out. Law Law is a bottomless Pit: O R, The HISTORY of JOHN BULL. Published from a manufcript found in the cabinet of the famous Sir H. Polefworth, in the year 1712. W HEN I was firft called to the office of hiftoriographer to John Bull, he expreffed himfelf to this purpose: "Sir Humphrey Polesworth *, I know you are a plain-dealer; it is for that reason I have cholen you "for this important truft; speak the truth,and fpare not." That I might fulfil thofe his honourable intentions, I obtained leave to repair to, and attend him in his must secret retirements; and I put the journals of all tranfactions into a ftrong box, to be opened at a fitting occafion, after the manner of the hiftoriographers of fome eaflern monarchs: this I thought was the fifeft way; though I declare I was never afraid to be choped by my master for telling of truth. It is from thote journals that my memoirs are compiled therefore let not posterity, a thousand years hence, look for truth in the voluminous annals of pedants, who are entirely ignorant of the fecret springs of great actions; if they do, let me tell them they will be nebufedt. With incredible pains have I endeavoured to copy the * A member of parliament, eminent for a certain cant in his converfation; of which there is a good deal in this book. A cant word of Sir Humphrey's. Another cant word, fignifying deceived. foveral |