Claud. If I fee any thing to-night why I fhould not marry her to-morrow; in the Congregation, where I should wed, there will I fhame her. Pedro. And as I wooed for thee to obtain her, I will join with thee to difgrace her. John. I will difparage her no farther, 'till you are my witneffes; bear it coldly but 'till night, and let the iffue fhew itself. Pedro. O day untowardly turned ! Claud O mifchief ftrangely thwarting! So will you fay, when you have feen the fequel. SCENE changes to the Street. [Exeu Enter Dogberry and Verges, with the Watch. Dogb. Verg. Yea, or elfe it were pity but they fhould fuffer falvation, body and foul. Dogb. Nay, that were a punishment too good for them, if they fhould have any allegiance in them, being chofen for the Prince's Watch. Verg. Well, give 'em their charge, neighbour Dogberry. Dogb. First, who think you the most defartless man to be conftable. 1 Watch. Hugh Oatesake, Sir, or George Seacole; for they can write and read. Dogb. Come hither, neighbour Seacole: God hath bleft you with a good name; and to be a well-favour'dman is the gift of fortune, but to write and read comes by nature. 2 Watch. Both which, mafter constable Dogb. You have: I knew it would be your answer. Well, for your Favour, Sir, why, give God thanks, and make no boaft of it; and for your writing and reading, let that appear when there is no need of fuch vanity; you are thought here to be the moft fenfelefs and and fit man for the Conftable of the Watch, therefore bear you the lanthorn; this is your charge: you shall comprehend all vagrom men; you are to bid any man ftand in the Prince's name. 2 Watch. How if he will not stand? Dogb. Why, then take no note of him, but let him go; and prefently call the rest of the Watch together, and thank God you are rid of a knave. Verg. If he will not ftand when he is bidden, he is none of the Prince's Sub ects. Dogb. True, and they are to meddle with none but the Prince's Subjects: you fhall alfo make no noife in the streets; for, for the watch to babble and talk, is moft tolerable, and not to be endur'd. 2 Watch. We will rather fleep, than talk; we know what belongs to a Watch. Dogb. Why you speak like an ancient and most quiet watchman, for I cannot fee how fleeping fhould offend; only have a care that your Bills be not tolen: well, you are to call at all the ale-houfes, and bid them that are drunk get them to bed. 2 Watch. How if they will not? Dogb. Why, then let them alone 'till they are fober; if they make you not then the better anfwer, you may fay, they are not the men you took them for. 2 Watch. Well, Sir. Dogb. If you meet a thief, you may fufpect him by virtue of your office to be no true man; and for fuch kind of men, the lefs you meddle or make with them, why, the more is for your honefty. 2 Watch. If we know him to be a thief, fhall we not lay hands on him? Dogb. Truly, by your office you may; but, I think, they that touch pitch will be defiled: the moft peaceable way for you, if you do take a thief, is, to let him fhew himself what he is, and steal out of your company. Verg. You have been always called a merciful man, Partner. Dogb. Truly, I would not hang a dog by my will, much more a man who hath any honesty in him. Verg. If you hear a child cry in the night, you must call to the nurfe and bid her fill it. 2 Watch. How if the nurse be asleep, and will not hear us? Dogb. Why, then depart in peace, and let the child wake her with crying: for the ewe that will not hear her lamb when it baes, will never answer a calf when he bleats. Verg. "Tis very true. Dogb. This is the end of the charge: you, conftable, are to prefent the Prince's own person; if you meet the Prince in the night, you may ftay him. Verg. Nay, birlady, that, I think, he cannot. Dogb. Five fhillings to one on't with any man that knows the Statues, he may ftay him; marry, not without the Prince be willing: for, indeed, the Watch ought to offend no man; and it is an offence to stay a man against his will. Verg. Birlady, I think, it be fo. Dogb. Ha, ha, ha! well, mafters, good night; an there be any matter of weight chances, call up me; keep your fellow's counfels and your own, and good night; come, neighbour. 2 Watch. Well, matters, we hear our charge; let us go fit here upon the church-bench 'till two, and then all to bed. Dogb. One word more, honeft neighbours. I pray you, watch about Signior Leonato's door, for the wedding being there to-morrow, there is a great coil tonight; adieu; be vigilant, I beseech you. [Exeunt Dogberry and Verges. Enter Borachio and Conrade. Bora. What? Conrade, Watch. Peace, ftir not. [Afide. Bora. Conrade, I say. Conr. Here, man, I am at thy elbow. Bora. Mafs, and my elbow itch'd, I thought there would a fcab follow. Conr. Conr. I will owe thee an answer for that, and now forward with thy tale. Bora. Stand thee clofe then under this pent-house, for it drizzles rain, and I will, like a true drunkard, utter all to thee. Watch. Some treason, masters; yet stand close. Bora. Therefore know, I have earned of Don John a thousand ducats. Conr. Is it poffible that any villany fhould be fo dear? Bora. Thou should'ft rather afk, if it were poffible any villany should be fo rich for when rich villains have need of poor ones, poor ones may make what price they will. Cour. I wonder at it. Bora. That fhews thou art unconfirm'd; thou knoweft, that the fashion of a doublet, or a hat, or a cloak is nothing to a man. Cour. Yes, it is apparel. Bora. I mean, the fashion. Conr. Yes, the fashion is the fashion. Bora. Tufh, I may as well fay, the fool's the fool ; but feeft thou not, what a deformed thief this fashion is ? Watch. I know that Deformed; he has been a vile thief this feven years; he goes up and down like a gentleman: I remember his name. Bora. Didft thou not hear somebody? Conr. No, 'twas the vane on the house. Bora. Seeft thou not, I fay, what a deformed thief this fashion is? how giddily he turns about all the hotbloods between fourteen and five and thirty; fometimes fashioning them like Pharao's foldiers in the reachy painting; fometimes, like the God Bel's priests in the old church-window; fometimes like the fhaven Hercules in the fmirch'd worm-eaten tapestry, where his codpiece feems as maffy as his club. Conr. All this I fee, and fee, that the fashion wears out more apparel than the man; but art not thou thyfelf giddy with the fashion too, that thou haft shifted out of thy tale into telling me of the fashion? Bera. Not fo neither; but know, that I have to-night wooed wooed Margaret, the lady Hero's gentlewoman, by the name of Hero; fhe leans me out at her mistress's chamberwindow, bids me a thousand times, good night--I tell this tale vilely-I fhould firft tell thee, how the Prince, Claudio, and my mafter, planted and placed, and poffeffed by my mafter Don John, faw a-far off in the orchard this amiable encounter. Conr. And thought they, Margaret was Hero? Bora. Two of them did, the Prince and Claudio but the devil my mafter knew, fhe was Margaret; and partly by his oaths, which firft poffeft them, partly by the dark night, which did deceive them, but chiefly by my villany, which did confirm any flander that Don John had made, away went Claudio enraged; fwore, he would meet her as he was appointed next morning at the Temple, and there before the whole Congregation fhame her with what he faw o'er night, and fend her home again without a husband. 1 Watch. We charge you in the Prince's name, ftand. 2 Watch. Call up the right mafter constable; we have here recovered the most dangerous piece of lechery that ever was known in the common-wealth. I Watch. And one Deformed is one of them; I know him, he wears a lock. Conr. Mafters, matters, (15) 2 Watch. You'll be made bring Deformed forth, 1 warrant you. Conr. Masters, 1 Watch. Never fpeak; we charge you, let us obey you to go with us. (15) Conr. Mafters, mafters, 2 Watch. You'll be made bring Deformed forth, I warrant yes. Conr. Mafters, never speak, we charge you, let us chey you to go with us.] The different regulation which I have made in this laft ipeech, tho' against the authority of all the printed copies, I flatter my felf, carries its proof with it. Conrade and Borachio are not defign'd to talk abfurd nonfenfe; that is the distinguishing characteristick of the Conftable and Watch. It is evident therefore, that Conrade is attemping his own juftification; but is interrupted in it by the impertinence of the men in office. |