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No. 1.] Tuesday, April 12, 1709.
dearth of news, present you with musty foreign Quicquid agunt homincs
edicts, or dull proclamations, but shall divide Nostri es farrago libelli. Juv. Sat. 1. 85, 86. our relation of the passages which occur in ac• Whate'er men do, or say, or think, or dream, tion or discourse throughout this town, as well Our motley paper seizes for its theme.'
as elsewhere, under such dates of places as may HOUGH the other papers, which are pub- prepare you for the matter you are to expect,
lished for the use of the good people of in the following manner. England, have certainly very wholesome ef- All accounts of gallantry, pleasure, and fects, and are laudable in their particular kinds, entertainment, shall be under the article of they do not seem to come up to the main de- White's Chocolate-house ;* poetry, under that sign of such narrations; wbich, I humbly pre- of Will's Coffee-house ;t learning, under the sume, should be principally intended for the title of Grecian; I foreign and domestic news, use of politic persons, why are so public-spirited you will have from Saint James's Coffee-house; as to neglect their own affairs to look into trans- and what else I have to offer on any other subactions of state. Now these gentlemen, for jeet shall be dated from my own apartment. the most part, being persons of strong zeal and “I once more desire my reader to consider, weak intellects, it is both a charitable and ne. that as I cannot keep an ingenious man to go Dessary work to offer something whereby such daily to Will's under twopence each day, merely worthy and well-affected members of the com- for his charges; to White's under sixpence; nor monwealth may be instructed, after their read to the Grecian, without allowing him some plain ing, what to think; wbich shall be the end and Spanish, to be as able as others at the learned purpose of this my paper, wherein I shall from table; and that a good observer cannot speak tine to time report and consider all matters of with even Kidney ll at Saint James's without what kind soever that shall occur to me, and clean linen; I say, these considerations will, I publish such my advices and reflections every hope, make all persons willing to comply with Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday in the week, ny humble request (wben my gratis stock is for the convenieuce of the post. I resolve to exhausted) of a penny a-piece; especially since bave something which may be of entertainment they are sure of some proper amusement, and to the fair-sex, in honour of whom, I have in- that it is impossible for me to want means to vented the title of this paper. I therefore ear-entertain them, having, besides the force of my nestly desire all persons, without distinction, own parts, the power of divination, and that I to take it in for the present, gratis, and hereafter, at the price of one penny, forbidding all • White's Chocolate-honse was then on the west side of hawkers to take more for it at their peril. And St. James's-street. I desire all persons to consider, that I am at a
“ Will's Coffee pouse was on the north side of Russel
street, Covent-garnen, where the wits of that time used to very great charge for proper materials for this assemble, and where Dryden had, when he lived, been ac work, as well as that, before I resolved upon customed to preside” it, I had settled a correspondence in all parts
Johnson's “Lives," &c. vol. iv. p. 15. 8vo. edit. 1781. of the known and knowing world. And foras
I The Greciar. was, and still is, in Devereux-court in the
Strand; probably the most ancient coffee house in or abont much as this globe is not trudden upon by mere London. In 1052, an English Turkey-merchant brought drudges of business only, but that men of spirit home with him a Greek servant, who first opened a house can, by casting a figure, tell you all that will | Love for Love.* Those excellent players, happen before it comes to pass.
for making and selling coffee. and genius are justly to be esteemed as oon
Kidney was one of the waiter's at St. James's Coffre. siderable agents in it, we shall not, upon a
Mrs. Barry, Mrs. Bracegirdle, and Mr. Dogget, But this last faculty I shall use very spa- though not at present concerned in the house, ringly, and speak but of few things until they acted on that occasion. There has not been are passed, for fear of divulging matters which known so great a concourse of persons of dismay offend our superio rs."*
tinction as at that time; the stage itself was
covered with gentlemen and ladies, and when White's Chocolate-house, April 7. the curtain was drawn, it discovered even there, The deplorable condition of a very pretty
a very splendid audience. This unusual engentleman, who walks here at the hours when couragement, which was given to a play for men of quality first appear, is what is very much the advantage of so great an actor, gives an lamented. His history is, that on the ninth of undeniable instance, tặat the true relish for September, 1705, being in his one-and-twentieth manly entertainments and rational pleasures
is not wholly lost. All the parts were acted to year, he was washing his teeth at a tavern window in Pall Mall, when a fine equipage passed perfection: the actors were careful of their carby, and in it a young lady who looked up at riage, and no one was guilty of the affectation
to insert witticisms of his own; but a due rehim; away goes the coach, and the young gentleman pulled off his night-cap, and instead of spect was had to the audience for encouraging tubbing his gums, as he ought to do, out of but plays will revive, and take their usual place
this accomplished player. It is not now doubted the window until about four of the clock, sits in the opinion of persons of wit and merit, nothim down and spoke not a word until twelve at withstanding their late apostacy in favour of night ; after which, he began to enquire if any dress and sound. This place is very much albody knew the lady?—The company asked whattered since Mr. Dryden frequented it; where lady? but he said no more, until they broke up at six in the morning.
you used to see songs, epigrams, and satires,
All the ensuing in the hands of every man you met, you have winter he went from church to church every Sunday, and from play-house to play-house
now only a pack of cards; and instead of the every night in the week; but could never find cavils about the turn of the expression, the elethe original of the picture which dwelt in his gance of the style, and the like, the learned bosom. In a word, luis attention to any thing But however the company is altered, all have
now dispute only about the truth of the game. but his passion was utterly gone. He has lost shewn a great respect for Mr. Betterton; and all the money he ever played for, and been confuted in every argument he has entered upon,
the very gaming part of this house have been since the moment he first saw her. He is of a
so touched with a sense of the uncertainty of
human affairs (which alter with themselves noble family, has naturally a very good air, and is of a frank, honest temper ; but this passion pitied Mark Anthony of Rome, Hamlet of Den
every moment) that in this gentleman, they has so extremely mauled him, that his features mark, Mithridates of Pontus, Theodosius of are set and uninformed, and his whole visage | Greece, and Henry the Eighth of England. It is deadened by a long absence of thought. He is well known, he has been in the condition of never appears in any alacrity but when raised each of those illustrious personages for several oy wine; at which time be is sure to come nither and throw away a great deal of wit on
hours together, and behaved himself in those fellows who have no sense farther than just to
high stations, in all the changes of the scene,
with suitable dignity. For these reasons, we observe, that our poor lover bas most under intend to repeat this late favour to him on a standing when he is druok, and is least in his senses when he is sober.+
proper occasion, lest he, who can instruct us The reader desired to take notice of the be lost to us by suffering under real ones.t. The
so well in personating feigned sorrows, should article from this place, from time to time, for 1 design to be very exact in the progress this seeing t a comedy now in rehearsal, which is the
town is at present in very great expectation of unhappy gentleman makes, which may be of twenty-fifth production of my honoured friend great instruction to all who actually are, or Mr. Thomas D'Urfey; who, besides bis great who ever shall be in love.
abilities in the dramatic, bas a peculiar talent Will's Coffee-house, April 8.
in the lyric way of writing, and that with a man
ner wholly new and unknown to the ancient On Thursday last was acted, for the benefit of Mr. Betterton, the celebrated comedy called
* By Congreve. Published in quarto, 1695.
age, was born in 1635, came upon the stage in 1956, and • The same introduction was prefixed to No. 2, and continued on it with great reputation more than fifty years,
He died April 23, 1710. 1 Edward Lord Viscount Hinchinbroke, mentioned after. 1“ The Modern Prophets,” c. quarto, 1709, his twenty.
seventh prodaction, according to the list of his plays in lice of his father, Oct. 3, 17%
Blog. Dram. See Tat. No. 11, and note; and No. 43,
wards onder the name of Cyuthio. He died in the life
See No. 3, and No. 89.
reeks and Romans, whercin he is but faiutly, with so much discourse upon a matter which imitated in the translations of the inodern I at the very first mentioned as a trifle, vi:. Italian operas.
the death of Mr. Partridge, * under whose name
there is an almanack come out for the year St. James's Coffee-house, April 11.
1709 ; in one page of which, it is asserted by Letters from the Hague of the sixteenth say, the said John Partridge, that he is still living; that Major-general Cadogan was gone to Brus- and not only so, but that he was also living Bels, with orders to disperse proper instructions some time before, and even at the instant when for assembling the whole force of the allies in I writ of his death. I have in another place, Flanders, in the beginning of the next month, and in a paper by itself, sufficiently convinced The late offers concerning peace were made in this man that he is dead, and, if he has any the style of persons who think themselves upon shame, I do not doubt but that by this time equal terms; but the allies have so just a sense he owns it to all his acquaintance; for though of their present advantages, that they will not the legs and arms and whole body of that man admit of a treaty, except France offers what is may still appear, and perform their animal funcmore suitable to ber present condition. At the tions; yet since, as I have elsewhere observed, sanie time, we make preparations as if we were his art is gone, the man is gone. I am, as I alarmed by a greater force than that which we said, concerned that this little matter should are carrying into the field. Thus this point make so much noise ; but since I am engaged, seems now to be argued sword in hand. This I take myself obliged in honour to go on in my was what a great general * alluded to, when lucubrations, and by the help of these arts, of being asked the names of those who were which I am master, as well as my skill in asto be plenipotentiaries for the ensuing peace, trological speculations, I shall as I see occahe answered with a serious air, There are sion, proceed to confute other dead men who about an hundred thousand of us." Mr. Kidney, pretend to be in being, although they are acwho has the ear of the greatest politicians that tually deceased. I therefore give all men fair come bither, tells me, there is a mail come in warning to mend their manners; for I shall, to-day with letters, dated Hague, April the from time to time, print bills of mortality; and nineteenth, N. S. wbicb say, a design of bring. I beg the pardon of all such who sball be named ing part of our troops into the field, at the therein, if they who are good for nothing shall latter end of this month, is now altered to a find themselves in the number of the deceased. resolution of marching towards the camp about the twentieth of the next. Prince Eugene was then returned thither from Amsterdam. He No. 2.) Thursday, April 14, 1709 sets out from Brussels on Tuesday: the greater number of the general officers at the Hague,
Quicqnid agunt homines
Nostri est farrago libelli. Juv. Sat. 1. 85, 6. have orders to go at the same time. The
Whate'er men do, or say, or think, or dream, squadron at Dunkirk consists of seven vessels.
Our motley paper seizes for its theme.
Will's Coffee-house, April 13. teer of Zeeland and one of Dunkirk. The There bas lain all this evening on the table, Duokirker, carrying thirty-three pieces of can- the following poem. The subject of it being non was taken and brought into the Texel. It matter very useful for families, I thought it is said, the courier of Monsieur Rouille is re- deserved to be considered, and made more pubturned to him from the court of France. Mon- lic. The turn the poet gives it, is very happy; sieur Vendosme, being re-instated in the favour but the foundation is from a real accident which of the dutchess of Burgundy, is to command happened among my acquaintance. A young in Flanders.
gentleman of a great estate fell desperately in Mr. Kidney added, that there were letters of love with a great beauty of very high quality, the seventeenth from Ghent, which give an ac- but as ill-patured as long Aattery and an hacount that the enemy had formed a design to bitual self-will could make her. However, my surprise two battalions of the allies which lay young spark ventures upon her like a man of at Alost; but those battalions received advice quality, without being acquainted with her, or of their march, and retired to Dendermond. having ever saluted her until it was a crinie to Lieutenant-general Wood appeared on this oc- kiss any woman else. Beauty is a thing which casion at the head of five thousand foot, and palls with possession; and the charms of this one thousand borse; upon which, the enemy lady soon wanted the support of good-kumour withdrew without making any farther attempt. and complacency of manners. Upon this, my From my own Apartment.
* Dr. Swift, in his “ Predictions for 1708,” foretold, that I am sorry I am obliged to trouble the public Partridge the almanack-maker, would infallibly dic on the
twenty-pinth of March, about eleven at night, of a raging
fever. The wits resolved to support this prediction, and * The duke of Marlborough.
uniforinly insisted that l'artriilge actually died at that tim
spark flies to the bottle for relief from satiety.
Domestic Jars, and matrimonial strife,
The best elixir tappease man and wife; She disdains him for being tired with that for
Strange are thi' effects, the qualities divine, which all men envied him ; and he never came 'Tis water callid, but worth its weight in wine. home, but it was—“ Was there no sot that
If in his sullen airs Sir John should come,
Three spuoninis take, hold in your mouth-then mor', would stay longer? would any man living but
Smile, and look pleas'd, when he shall rage and scale, vou ? did I leave all the world for this usage ?" Still in your mouth the healing cordial hold; to which, he—“Madam, split me, you are very
One month this sympathetic med'eine try'd,
He'll grow a lover, you a happy bride. mpertinent!" In a word, this match, was wed
But, dearest niece, keep this grand secret close, ock in its most terrible appearances. She, at Or every praitling hassy 'll beg a dose." .ast, weary of railing to no purpose, applies to
A water-bottle's brought for her relief; a good uncle, who gives her
bottle he pre
Not Nants could sooner ease the lady's grief :
Her busy thoughts are on the trial bent, tended he had bought of Mr. Partridge the con- And, female like, impatient for th' event! jurer. “ This," said he, “ I gave ten guineas The bonuy knight reels home exceeding clear,
Prepar'd for clamour and domestic war : for. The virtue of the enchanted liquor (said
Entering, he cries,—“ Hey! where's our thinder fled: he that sold it) is such, that if the woman you No hurricane! Betty 's your lady (lead ?” marry proves a scold (which it seems my dear Madam, aside, an ainple mouthful takes,
Court'sies, looks kind, but not a worii she speaks : niece is your misfortune; as it was your good Wondering, he star'd, scarcely his eyes believ'd, mother's before you) let ber hold three spoon- But found his ears agreeably deceivd. fuls in her mouth for a full half hour after you
" Why, how now, Molly, what's the crotchet now plan
She smile, and answers only with a bow. come home” But I find I am not in humour
Then clasping her about—" Why, let me die!
And Betty calls, her lady to undress.
Her lace she cuts, to take him in the mind.
Thus the fond pair to bed enamour'l went,
The lady pleas'll, and the good knight content.
For many days these fond endearments past,
The reconciling bottle fails at last; Had wealth and charmis--but then she had a tongue !
'Twas usid and gone.—Then midnight storms arose, From morn to night th' eternal larum run,
And looks and words the onion discompose. Which often lost those hearts her eyes had won.
ller coach is order'd, and post-haste she tlies Sir John was smitten, and confess'd his flame,
To beg her uncle for some fresh supplies, Sigh'd out the usual time, then wed the dame;
Transported does the strange effects relate, Possess'l, he thought, of every joy of life ;
Iler knight's conversion, and her happy state! But his dear Moll; prov'd a very wife.
" Why, nicce," says he,-"1 pr‘ythee apprehend,
?he water's water-be thyself thy friend; Excess of fondness did in time decline,
Sich beanty would the coldest husband warm,
But your provoking tongue ondoes the charm :
Be silent and complying.-You'll soon find,
Sir John without a ned'cine will be kind."
St. James's Coffee-house, April 13.
Letters from Venice say, the disappointment " And, what Sir John, you'll get your nsual dose !
of their expectation to see his Danish majesty Go, stink of smoke, and guzzle na iy wine ; Sore, never virtuous love was us'd like mine!"
has very much disquieted the court of Rome. Of as the watchful bell-man march'd his round, Our last advices from Germany inform us that At a fresh bottle gay Sir John he found.
the minister of Hanover has urged the council By four the knight wonld get his business done, And ovly then reel'd off, becanse alone;
at Ratisbonne to exert themselves in behalf of Full well he knew the dreadful storm to come,
the common cause, and taken the liberty to Ent, arm’d with Bourdeanx, he durst venture home.
say, that the dignity, the virtue, the prudence · My lady with her tongue was still prepar'd, She rattled loud, and he impatient heard :
of bis electoral highness, bis master, were called " 'Tis a fine hour! In a sweel pickle made!
to the head of their affairs in vain, if they thought And this, Sir John, is every day the trade.
fit to leave him naked of the proper means to Here I sit moping all the live-long night, Devoard with spleen, and stranger to delight;
make those excellencies useful for the honour 'Till morn sends staggering home a drunken beast, and safety of the empire. They write from Resolvid to break my heart, as well as rest."
[sponse: Berlin of the thirteenth, O. S. that the true “ Hey! hoop! d'ye hear my damo'd dostreperous What, can't you find one bed about the house ?
design of general Fleming's visit to that court Will that perpetaal clack lie vever zuill?
was to insinuate, that it will be for the mutua That rival to the softness of a mill! Some couch and distant room must be my choice,
interest of the king of Prussia and king AuWhere I may sleep ancnrs'd with wife and noise." gustus to enter into a new alliance; but that Long this oncomfortable life they leil,
the ministers of Prussia are not inclined to his With snarling meals, and each a sep'rate bed.
sentiments. We bear from Vienna, that his To an old ancle oft she would complain, Beg his advice, and scarce from tears refrain.
imperial majesty has expressed great satisfacOld Wisewood smok'd the maller as it was,
tion in their bigh mightinesses baving commu. “ Cheer up !" cried he," and I'll remove the cause. “ A wondrous spring wilbin my garden flows,
nicated to him the whole that has passed in Of sovereign virtue, chiefly in compose
the affair of a peace. Though there have been
practices used by the agents of France, in all
Will's Coffee-house, April 14. ihe courts of Europe, to break the good under
This evening the comedy* called the Country standing of the allies, they have had no other effect, but to make all the members concerned Wife, was acted in Drury-lane, for the benefit in the alliance more doubtful of their safety, of Mrs. Bignell. The part which gives name from the great offers of the enemy. The em
to the play was performed by herself. Through peror is roused by this alarm, and the frontiers the whole action she made a very pretty figure, of all the French dominions are in danger of and exactly entered into the nature of the part. being insulted the ensuing campaign. Advices Her husband, in the drama, is represented to from all parts confirm, that it is impossible for be one of those debauchees who run through France to find a way to obtain so much credit the vices of the town, and believe when they as to gain any one potentate of the allies, or
think fit, they can marry and settle at their conceive any hope for safety from other pros- the age, makes him choose a wife wholly igno
His own knowledge of the iniquity of pects.
rant of it, and place bis security in her want From my own Apartment, April 13.
of skill to abuse him. The poet on many oc
casions, where the propriety of the character I find it of very great use, now I am setting will admit of it, insinuates, that there is no up for a writer of news, that I am an adept in defence against vice, but the contempt of it: astrological speculations ; by which means, and has, in the patural ideas of an untainted avoid speaking of things which may offend great innocent, shown the gradual steps to ruin and persons. But, at the same time, I must not destruction which persons of condition run into, prostitute the liberal sciences so far, as not to without the help of a good education to form utter the truth in cases which do immediately their conduct. The torment of a jealous coxconcern the good of my native country. I must, comb, which arises from his own false maxims, therefore, contradict wbat has been so assuredly and the aggravation of his pain, by the very reported by the news-writers of England, that words in which he sees her innocence, makes France is in the most deplorable condition, and a very pleasant and instructive satire. The that their people die in great multitudes. character of Horner, and the design of it, is a will therefore let the world know, that my good representation of the age in which that correspondent by the way of Brussels, informs comedy was written; at which time, love and ine upon his honour, that the gentleman who wenching were the business of life, and the writes the gazette of Paris, and ought to know gallant manner of pursuing women was the as well as any man, has told him, that ever best recommendation at court. To this only, since the king has been past his sixty-third year, it is to be imputed, that a gentleman of Mr. or grand climacteric, there has not died one Wycherly's character and sense, condescends man of the French nation who was younger to represent the insults done to the honour of than his majesty, except a very few who were the bed, without just reproof; but to have taken suddenly near the village of Hockstet in drawn a man of probity with regard to such Germany; and some more wbo were straitened considerations had been a monster, and a poet for lodging at a place called Ramilies, and died had at that time discovered bis want of knowon the road to Ghent and Bruges. There are ing the manners of the court he lived in, by a also other things giren out by the allies, wbicb virtuous character in his fine gentleman, as he are shifts below a conquering nation to inake would show his ignorance by drawing a vicious use of. Among others, it is said there is a ge- one to please the present audience. Mrs. Bignell neral murmuring among the people of France, did her part very happily, and had a certain though at the same time, all my letters agree, grace in her rusticity, which gave us hopes of that there is so good an understanding among seeing her a very skilful player, and in some them, that there is not one morsel carried out parts, supply our loss of Mrs. Verbruggen. I of any market in the kingdom but what is de- cannot be of the same opinion with my friends livered upon credit.
and fellow-labourers, the Reformers of Manpers, in their severity towards plays; but must
allow, that a good play, acted before a wellNo. 3.] Saturday, April 16, 1709.
bred audience, must raise very proper incite
ments to good behaviour, and be the most Quicquid agunt hominesNostri est farrago libelli. Juv. Sat. 1. 85, 86. quick and most prevailing method of giving
young people a turn of sense and breeding. • Whate'er men do, or say, or think, or dream, Oar motley paper seizes for its theme.'
But as I have set vp for a weekly historian, I resolve to be a faithful one; and therefore take
this public occasion to admonish a young noAn humonrous compliment to the Dake of Marlborough, bleman, who came flustering into the box last who, as Mr. Steele insinuates, so reduced the French, that hey had now, neither more young men to go to war, nor inore ready money to carry to market.
• By Wycherly. It was first acted in 1903.