been in your whole life. I like the article very much which you propose in your will; and if that takes place forty years hence, and God, for the fins of men, should continue that life fo long, I would have it be ftill inferted; unless you could make it a little sharper. I own you have too much reafon to complain of fome friends, who, next to yourself, have done you moft hurt; whom ftill Lesteem and frequent, tho' I confefs I cannot hearti ly forgive. Yet certainly the cafe was not merely perfonal malice to you, (altho' it had the fame effect), but a kind of I know not what job, which one of them hath often heartily repented, however it came to be patched up. I am confident your collection of Bons mots and Contes à rire, will be much the best extant; but you are apt to be terribly fanguine about the profits of publishing: however, it shall have all the pufhing I can give. I have been much out of order with a spice of my giddinefs, which began before you left us. better of late days, but not right yet, tho' I take daily drops and bitters. I muft do the best I can, but shall never more be a night-walker. You hear they have in England paffed the excife on tobacco; and by their votes it appears they intend it on more articles. And care is taken by some special friends here, to have it the fame way here. We are flaves already: and from my youth upwards, the great wife men whom I used to be among, taught me, that a general excife (which they now by degrees intend) is the most direct and infallible way to flavery. Pray G-fend it them in his juftice, for they well deferve it. All your friends, and the town, are just as you left it. I humdrum it on, either on horfeback, or dining and fitting the evening at home; endeavouring to write, but write nothing, merely out of indolence, and want of fpirits. No foul has broke his neck, or is hanged, or married; only Concerinat is dead, and I let her go to her grave without a coffin, and with I am out * Perhaps Bons mots de Stella, and Thoughts on various fubjects, are part of this collection. They are both in this volume. + One of thofe poor people to whom the Dean uled to give money, when he met them in his walks. Some of them he named thus, partly for diftinction, and partly for hour; Concerina, Stumpanympha, Pull-a-gown-a, Friterilla, Flora, Stumpantha. out fees. So I am going to take my evening-walk after five, having not been out of doors yet. I wish you well and fafe at home. Pray call on me on Sunday night. I am yours, &c. P. S. I believe there are a hundred literal blunders, but I cannot stay to mend them.- So pick as you are able. I am not fo FRANK a writer as you. HE LETTER CXXIX. Dr SWIFT to Dr SHERIDAN. Sept. 12. 1735. ERE is a very ingenious obfervation upon the days of the week, and in rhyme, worth your obfervation, and very proper for the information of boys and girls, that they may not forget to reckon them. Sunday's a pun-day, Monday's a dun-day, Tuesday's a news-day, Wednesday's a friend's-day, Thursday's a curs'd day, Friday's a dry-day, Saturday's the latter-day. I intend fomething of equal ufe upon the months; as, January, woman vary. I fhall likewife in due time make fome obfervations upon each year as it paffes. So for the pre fent year: One thousand feven hundred and thirty-feven, I will carry these predictions no further than to the year 21, when the learned think the world will be at end, of the fine-all-cat-a-ftrow-fee. The The laft is the period, two thousand and one, WHEN that time comes, pray remember the discovery came from me. Ir is now time I should begin my letter. I hope you got fafe to Cavan, and have got no cold in those two terrible days. All your friends are well, and I as I used to be. I received yours. My humble fervice to your lady, and love to your children. I fuppofe you have all the news fent to you. I hear of no marriages going on. One Dean Crofs, an eminent divine, we hear is to be Bishop of Cork. Stay till I afk a fervant, what Patrick's bells ring for fo late at night.--You, fellow, is it for joy or forrow? I believe it fome of our royal birthdays. Oh, they tell me, it is for joy a new mafter is chofen for the corporation of butchers. So farewel. YE Dr SWIFT to Dr SHERIDAN... Sept. 30. 1735ESTERDAY was the going out of the laft Lord Mayor, and to-day the coming in of the new, who is Alderman Grattan. The Duke* was at both dinners; but I thought it enough to go to-day, and I came away before fix, with very little meat or drink. The club + meets in a week, and I determine to leave the town as foon as poffible; for I am not able to live within the air of fuch rafcals; but whether to go, or how far my health will permit me to travel, I cannot tell; for my mind mifgives me, that you are neither in humour nor capacity to receive me as a gueft. I had your law-letter. Thofe things require ferious confideration. In order to bring them to a due perfection, a wife man will pre pare The Duke of Dorfet, Lord Lieutenant of Ireland. The Irish parliament. See the next letter, and the poem there mentioned. pare a large fund of idioms; which are highly useful, when literally tranflated by a skilful, eloquent hand; and, except our Latino- Anglicus, is the moft neceffary, as well as ornamental part of human learning. But then we must take special care of infufing the most useful precepts for the direction of human life, particularly for inftructing princes and great minifters, diftributing our praifes and cenfures with the utmost impartiality and juftice. This is what I have prefumed to attempt, altho' very confcious to myself of my inferior abilities for fuch a performance. I begin with lady. And because the judicious Mr Locke fays it is neceflary to settle terms, before we write upon any fubject, I describe a certain female of your acquaintance, whofe name shall be Dorothy. It is in the following manner. "Dolis aftra 66 per, aftra mel, a fus, a quoque et; atra pes, an id lar, "alas ibo nes, a præ ter, at a lar, avi fi ter. age ipfi, "aftro lar, an empti pate, aræ lar, aram lar, an et, ades 66 e ver, aft rumpet, ad en, agam lar, agrum lar, ac ros pus, afflat error, ape e per, as noti nos, arraver, a huc "tare, affo fis ter, avi per, ad rive lar, age lar, apud "lar, a fis lar, a fis ter, a far ter, as hi ter, anus lar, a mus lar, arat lar, a minximus, a prata pace, a gallo per, a five." Moft learned Sir, I intreat you will pleafe to obferve, (fince I muft fpeak in the vulgar language), that in the above forty three denominations for females, many of them end with the domeftic deity lar, to fhew that women were chiefly created for family affairs; and yet I cannot hear, that any other author hath made the fame remark. I have likewise begun a treatise of geography, (the Anglo- Anglarians call it erroneously fog Ralph 1), Mei quo te fummo fit! Aftra canis a miti citi; an dy et Ali cantis qui te as bigas it. Barba dos "is more populus. An tego is a des arti here." I have a third treatife, to direct young ladies in reading. "Ama dis de Gallis a fine his tori, an dy et Belli anis "is ab et er. Summas eurus valent in an Dorfo ne "isthmos te legant ovum alto bis ure. I canna me fore "do mæti cani males o fallique nat ure; na mel i, ac "at, arat, amafti, fanda lædi; Imæ ad amo ufto o; a "lædi inde edi mite ex cæptas a beasti e verme et aram "lingut. Præis mi cum pari fono dius orno? VZ. IV. Z I I believe fome evil fpirit hath got poffeffion of you, and a few others, in conceiving I have any power with the D-- of D-, or with any one bishop or man of power. I did but glance a fingle word to the D-about as proper a thing as he could do, and yet he turned it off to fome other difcourfe. You fay one word of my mouth would do, &c. I believe the rhyme of my word would do just as much. Am I not univerfally known to be one who diflikes all prefent perfons and proceedings Another writes to defire, that I would prevail on the Archbishop of Dublin to give him the beft prebend of St Patrick's. Let Bishop Clayton + allow the refignation fince Donellan is provided for. I mentioned to the D, that Donellan fhould be Dean of Cork, on purpose to forward the refignation of old Caulfield: but it would not do; tho' Caulfield feems to have fome hopes, and it is Bishop Clayton's fault if he does not yield, &c. * I April 24. 1736. Have been very ill for thefe two months past with giddinefs and deafnefs, which lafted me till about ten days ago, when I gradually recovered; but ftill am weak and indolent, not thinking any thing worth my thoughts; and altho' (I forget what I am going to fay, fo it ferves for nothing) I am well enough to ride, yet I will not be at the pains. Your friend Mrs Whiteway, who is upon all occasions so zealous to vindicate, is one whom I defire you to chide: for, during my whole fickness, the was perpetually plaguing and fpunging on me; and tho' fhe would drink no wine herfelf, yet fhe increased the expence, by making me force it down her throat. Some of your eight rules I follow, fome I reject, fome Dr John Hoadly. Dr Clayton, Bishop of Cork. The paragraphs in Italic in this and the following letter, were written by Mrs Whiteway, a coufin-german of Dr Stef's. |