SURPR

ULTRA

HOR. SAT. I. L. 2. VER, I

URPRIZE is fo much the life of ftories, that every one aims at it, who endeavours to please by telling them. Smooth delivery, an elegant choice of words, and a fweet arrangement, are all beautifying graces, but not the particulars in this point of converfation which either long command the attention, or ftrike with the violence of a fudden paffion, or occafion the burft of laughter which accompanies humour. I have fometimes fancied that the mind is in this cafe like a traveller who fees a fine feat in hafte; he acknowledges the delightfulness of a walk fet with regularity,, but would be uneafy if he were obliged to pass it over, when the first view had let him into all it's beauties from one end to the other.

However, a knowledge of the fuccefs which ftories will have when they are attended with a turn of furprize, as it has happily made the chara&ters of fome, fo has it alfo been the ruin of the characters of others. There is a fet of men who outrage truth, instead of affecting us with a manner in telling it; who overleap the line of probability, that they may be feen to move out of the common read, and endeavour only to make their hearers are by impofing upon them with a kind of nafenfe against the philofophy of nature, or fuch a heap of wonders told upon their own knowledge, as it is not likely one man fhould ever have met with.

I have been led to this obfervation by a company into which I fell accidentally. The fubject of antipathies was a proper field wherein fuch falfe furprizers might expatiate, and there were thofe prefent who appeared very fond to fhew it in it's full extent of traditional hiftory. Some of them, in a learned manner, offered to our confideration the miraculous powers which the effluviums of cheefe have over bodies whose pores are disposed to receive them in a noxious manner; others gave an account of fuch who could indeed bear the fight of cheese, but not the

tafte; for which they brought a reason from the milk of their nuries. Others again difcourfed, without endeavouring at reafons, concerning an unconquerable averfion which fome ftomachs have against a joint of meat when it is whole, and the eager inclination they have for it, when by it's being cut up, the shape which had affected them is altered. From hence they paffed to eels, then to parfnips, and fo from one averfion to another, until we had worked up ourfelves to fuch a pitch of complaifance, that when the dinner was to come in, we enquired the name of every dish, and hoped it would be no offence to any in company, before it was admitted. When we had fat down, this civility among us turned the difcourfe from eatables to other forts of avertions; and the eternal cat, which plagues every converfation of this nature, began then to engross the fubject. One had sweated at the fight of it, another had fmelled it out as it lay concealed in a very distant cupboard; and he who crowned the whole fet of thefe ftories, reckoned up the number of times in which it had occafioned him to fwoon away. At laft, fays he,

The extravagance of this turn in the. way of furprize, gave a stop to the talk we had been carrying on: fome were filent because they doubted, and others because they were conquered in their own way; fo that the gentleman had an opportunity to prefs the belief of it upon us, and let us fee that he was rather expofing himself than ridiculing others.

I must freely own that I did not all this while difbelieve every thing that was

false furprize, is to overshoot fuch talk.

this

The first of these is a general filence, which I would not advise any one to interpret in his own behalf. It is often the effect of prudence in avoiding a quarrel, when they fee another drive fo faft that there is no stopping him without being run again; and but very feldom the effect of weakness in believing fuddenly. The generality of mankind are not fo grofsly ignorant, as fome overbearing spirits would perfuade them, felves and if the authority of a charac, ter or a caution against danger make us fupprefs, our opinions, yet neither of thefe are of force enough to fupprefs our thoughts of them. If a man who has endeavoured to amufe his company with improbabilities could but look into their minds, he would find that they imagine he lightly esteems of their fenfe when he thinks to impofe upon them, and that he is lefs efteemed by them for his attempt in doing fo. His endeavour to glory at their expence becomes a ground of quarrel, and the fcorn and indiffe rence, with, which they entertain it begins the immediate punishment; and indeed, (if we should even go no far ther) filence, or a negligent indifference, has a deeper way of wounding than op. pofition, becaufe oppofition proceeds from an anger that has a fort of generous fentiment for the adverfary ming Jing along with it, while it fhews that there is fome efteen in your mind for him; in fort, that you think him worth while to contest with; but filence, of a negligent indifference, proceeds from anger, mixed with a fcorn that thews another he is thought by you too conemptible to be regarded."

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en he other method which the world has taken for correcting this practice of andilab mapy & 21 17 T›

hory with further degrees of impoffibi, lity, and fet up for a voucher to them in fuch a manner as mut let them f they and detected. Thus I have heard a difcourfe was once managed upon the effects of fear. One of the company had given an account how it had turned his friend's hair grey in a night, while the terrors of a hipwreck encompaffed him. Another taking the hence, began, upon his own knowledge, to enlarge his inftances of the like nature to fuch a number, that it was not pro

he could ever have met with them: and as he ftill grounded these upon different causes for the fake of variety, it might feem at laft, from his fhare of the converfation, almoft impoffible that any one who can feel the paffion of fear fhould all his life elcape to common an effect of it. By this time fome of the company grew negligent, or defrous tó contradict him: but one rebuked the reft with an appearance of feverity, and with the known old ftory in his head, affured them they need not fcruple to believe that the fear of any thing can make a man's hair grey, fince he knew one whofe periwig had fuffered fo by it. Thus he ftopped the talk, and made them eafy. Thus is the fame method taken to bring us to fhame, which we fondly take to increase our character: It is indeed a kind of mimicry, by which another puts on our air of converfation to fhew us to ourselves: he seems to look Hdiculous before you, that you may rel member how near a refemblance you bear to him, or that ye; may know that he will not he under the imputation of believing you. Then it is that you are truck dumb immediately with a con fcientious fhame for what you have been faying. Then it is that you are in wardly grieved at the fentiments which you cannot but perceive others entertain concerning you. In thort, you care againit yourself; the laugh of the company runs against you the cenfuring world is obliged to you for that triumph which you have allowed them at your own expences and truth which you have injured has a near way of being reveng ed on you, when by the bare repetition of your story you become a frequent di verfion for the publicocí patkerty bu side yoɛ to tada i mol

MR. SPECTATOR,

I Am a young widow of good fortune

and family, and just come to town where I find I have clusters of pretty fellows come already to vifit me, fome dying with hopes, others with fears, though they never faw me. Now what I would beg of you would be to know whether I may venture to use thefe pretty fellows with the fame freedom as I did my country acquaintance. I defire your leave to use them as to me fhall feem meet, without imputation of a jilt; for fince I make declaration that not one of them fhall have me, I think I ought to be allowed the liberty of infulting thofe who have the vanity to believe it is in their power to make me break that re folution. There are schools for learning to ule foils, frequented by thofe who never defign to fight, and this ufe lefs way of aiming at the heart without defign to wound it on either fide, is the play with which I am refolved to divert myfelf the man who pretends to win, I fhall ufe like him who comes into a fencing-fchool to pick a quarrel. I hope, upon this foundation, you will give me the free ufe of the natural and artificial force of my eyes, looks, and geftures. As for verbal promifes, I will make none, but fhall have no mercy on the conceited interpreters of glances and motions. I am particularly skilled in the downcaft eye, and the recovery into a fudden full afpect, and away again, as you may have feen fometimes prac tifed by us country beauties beyond all that you have observed in courts and cities. Add to this, Sir, that I have a ruddy heedlefs look, which covers artifice the heft of any thing. Though I can dance very well, I affect a tottering

QUE GENUS.

untaught way of walking, by which I

appear an caly preys and never exert

my inftructed charms until I find I have engaged a purfuer. Be pleased, Sir, to print this letter which will certainly begin the chace of a rich widow the many foldings, escapes, returns, and doublings, which I make, I shall from time to time communicate to you, for the better inftruction of all females who fet up, like me, for reducing the prefent exorbitant power and infolence of man. I am, Sir, your faithful corre fpondent,

RELICTA LOVELY.

DEAR MR.SPECTATOR,

Depend upon your profeffed respect for virtuous love, for your immediately answering the defign of this letters which is no other than to lay before the world the feverity of certain parents who defire to fufpend the marriage of a difcreet young woman of eighteen, three years longer, for no other reason but that of her being too young to enter into that ftate. As to the confideration of riches, my circumftances are fuch, that I cannot be suspected to make my addreffes to her on fuch low motives as avarice or ambition. If ever innocence, wit, and beauty, united their utmost charms, they have in her. I with you would expatiate a little on this fubject, and admonith her parents that it may be from the very imperfection of human nature itfelf, and not any perfonal frail ty of her or me, that our inclinations baffled at prefent may alter; and while we are arguing with ourselves to put off the enjoyment of our prefent paffions, our affections may change their objects in the operation. It is a very delicate

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fubject