great names and illuftrious titles. The reader generally cats his eye upon a new book, and if he finds feveral letters feparated from one another by a dafh, he buys it up, and perufes it with great fatisfaction. An M and an h, a T and an r, with a fhort line between them, has fold many infipid pamphlets. Nay, I have known a whole edition go off by virtue of two or three well written &c's.

A fprinkling of the words Faction, Frenchman, Papift, Plunderer, and the like fignificant terms, in an Italic character, have alfo a very good effec&t upon the eye of the purchafer; not to mention fcribbler, liar, rogue, rafcal, knave, and villain, without which it is impoffible to carry on a modern controversy.

Our party-writers are fo fenfible of the fecret virtue of an innuendo to recommend their productions, that of late they never mention the Q-n or P-t at length, though they speak of them with honour, and with that deference which is due to them from every private perfon. It gives a fecret fatisfaction to a perufer of thefe myfterious works, that he is able to decypher them without help, and, by the ftrength of his own natural parts, to fill up a blank fpace, or make out a word that has only the first or last letter to it.

Some of our authors indeed, when they would be more fatirical than ordinary, omit only the vowels of a great man's name, and fall most unmercifully upon all the confonants. This way of writing was first of all introduced by T-m Brown, of facetious memory, who, after having gutted a proper name of all it's intermediate vowels, ufed to plant it in his works, and make as free with it as he pleafed, without any danger of the statute.

That I may imitate these celebrated authors, and publish a paper which fhall be more taking than ordinary, I have here drawn up a very curious libel, in which a reader of penetration will find a great deal of concealed fatire; and, if he be acquainted with the prefent posture of affairs, will easily discover the meaning of it.

If there are four perfons in the nation who endeavour to bring all things

These people may cry Ch-rch, Ch-rch, as long as they please, but, to make use of a homely proverb, "The proof of the p-dd-ng is in the "eating." This I am fure of, that if

a certain prince fhould concur with a ⚫ certain prelate, (and we have Monfieur Zn's word for it) our pofterity would be in a fweet pckle. Mutt the British nation fuffer forfooth, because my Lady Q-p-t:s has been difobliged? Or is it reasonable that our English fleet, which used to be the terror of the ocean, fhould lie wind-bound for the fake of a

-?

I love to speak out and declare my mind clearly, when I am talking for the good of my country. I will not make my court to an ill man, though he were a By or a Tt. Nay, I would not stick to call fo wretched a politician, a traitor, an enemy to • his country, and a Bl-nd-rb-ss, &c. • &c.'

The remaining part of this political treatife, which is written after the manner of the most celebrated authors in Great Britain, I may communicate to the public at a more convenient season. In the mean while I fhall leave this with my curious reader, as fome ingenious writers do their enigmas; and if any fagacious perfon can fairly unriddle it, I will print his explanation, and, if he pleafes, acquaint the world with his

name.

I hope this short essay will convince my-readers, it is not for want of abilities that I avoid state-tracts; and that if I would apply my mind to it, I might in a little time be as great a mafter of the political scratch as any the most eminent writer of the age. I fhall only add, that in order to outfhine all this modern race of Syncopifts, and thoroughly content my English reader, I intend fhortly to publifh a Spectator, that fhall not have a fingle vowel in it.

0

manner?'' I can't for my life,' fays I,' imagine who they are the Spectator means? No!' fays he; your humble fervant, Sir!'. Upon which he flung himfelf back in his chair after a contemptuous manner, and smiled upon the old lethargic gentleman on his left hand, who I found was his great ad. mirer. The Whig however had begun to conceive a good-will towards me, and seeing my pipe out, very generously offered me the use of his box; but I declined it with great civility, being obliged to meet a friend about that time in another quaiter of the city.

At my leaving the coffee-houfe, I could not forbear reflecting with myself upon that grofs tribe of fools who may be termed the over-wife; and upon the difficulty of writing any thing in this cenforious age, which a weak head may not conftrue into private fatire and perfonal reflection..

A man who has a good nofe at an innuendo, fmells treafon and fedition in the most innocent words that can be put together, and never fees a vice or folly ftigmatized, but finds out one or other

of his acquaintance pointed at by the writer. I remember an empty pragmatical fellow in the country, who, upon reading over the Whole Duty of Man, had written the names of feveral perfons. in the village at the fide of every fin which is mentioned by that excellent author; fo that he had converted one of the best books in the world into a libel against the 'fquire, churchwardens, overfeers of the poor, and all other the most confiderable perfons in the parish. This book, with thefe extraordinary marginal notes, fell accidentally into the hands of one who had never feen it before; upon which there arofe a current report that fomebody had written a book against the 'fquire and the whole parish. The minifter of the place having at that time a controversy with fome of his congregation upon the account of his tithes, was under fome fufpicion of being the author, until the good man fet his people right, by fhewing them that the fatirical paffages might be applied to feve ral others of two or three neighbouring villages, and that the book was writ against all the finners in England.

HOR. ARS POET. VER. 434.

vices are fo incurable as thofe which men are apt to glory in. One would wonder how drunkennefs fhould have the good luck to be of this number. Anacharfis, being invited to a match of drinking at Corinth, demanded the prize very humourously, becaufe he was drunk before any of the rest of the company; For,' says he, ⚫ when we run a race, he who arrives

at the goal firft is intitled to the re'ward: on the contrary, in this thirty generation, the honour falls upon him who carries off the greatest quantity of liquor, and knocks down the rest of the company. I was the other day with honest Will Funnell the Weft Saxon, who was reckoning up how much liquor had paffed through him in the last twen

RoscoMMON.

ty years of his life, which, according to his computation, amounted to twentythree hogfheads of October, four ton of port, half a kilderkin of fmall-beer, nineteen barrels of cider, and three glaffes of champagne; befides which, he had affifted at four hundred bowls of punch, not to mention fips, drams, and whets without number. I question not but every reader's memory will fuggeft to him feveral ambitious young men, who are as vain in this particular as Will Funnell, and can boast of as glorious exploits.

Our modern philofophers observe, that there is a general decay of moisture in the globe of the earth. This they chiefly afcribe to the growth of vegetables, which incorporate into their own fub7 C 2

stance

ftance many fluid bodies that never return again to their former nature: but, with fubiniflion, they ought to throw into their account those innumerable rational beings which fetch their nourifhment chiefly out of liquids; efpecially when we confider that men, compared with their fellow creatures, drink much more than comes to their share.

But however highly this tribe of people may think of themselves, a drunken man is a greater monster than any that is to be found among all the creatures which God has made; as indeed there is no character which appears more defpicable and deformed in the eyes of all reafonable perfons, than that of a drunkard. Bonofus, one of our own countrymen, who was addicted to this vice, having fet up for a fhare in the Roman empire, and being defeated in a great battle, hanged himself. When he was feen by the army in this melancholy fituation, notwithstanding he had be haved himfeif very bravely, the common jeft was, that the thing they faw hanging upon the tree before them, was not a man. but a bottle..

This vice has very fatal effects on the mind, the body, and fortune of the perfon who is devoted to it...

In regard to the mind, it firft of all difcovers every flaw in it. The fober man, by the strength of reafon, may keep under and fubdue every vice or folly to which he is moft inclined; but wine makes every latent feed sprout up in the foul, and fhew itfelf; it gives fury to the paffions, and force to thofe objects which are apt to produce them. When a young fellow complained to an old philofopher that his wife was not handiome, Put leis water in your wine, fays the philofopher, and you will quickly make her fo.' Wine heightens indifference into love, love into jealouly, and jealoufy into mad

nefs. It often turns the good-natured man into an ideot, and the choleric into an affaffin. It gives bitterness to resentment, it makes vanity infupportable, and difplays 'every little ipot of the foul in it's utmost deformity.

Nor does this vice only betray the hidden faults of a man, and fhew them. in the most odious colours, but often occafions faults to which he is not naturally fubject. There is more of turn. than of truth in a faying of Seneca, that drunkennefs does not produce but difcover faults. Common experience teaches the contrary. Wine throws a man out of himself, and infufes qualities into the mind, which she is a tranger to in her fober moments. The perfon you converfe with, after the third bottle, is not the fame man who at first fat down at table with you. Upon this maxim is founded one of the prett eft fayings Iever met with, which is ascribed to Publius Syrus' Qui ebrium ludificat lædit abfentem-He who iets upon a man that is drunk, injures the ab. 'fent.'

Thus does drunkenness act in a direct contradiction to reason, where hufinefs it is to clear the mind of every vice which is crept into it, and to guard it against all the approaches of any that endeavours to make it's entrance. But befides thefe ill effects which this vice produces in the perfon who is actually under it's dominion, it has also a bad influence on the mind even in it's fober moments, as it infenfibly weakens the understanding, impairs the memory, and makes thote faults habitual which are produced by frequent exceffes.

I fhould now proceed to fhew the ill effects which this vice has on the bodies and fortunes of men; but these I shall referve for the fubject of fome future paper.

is not actuated by ambition. When this principle meets with an honeft mind

vice to the world; on the contrary, when a man only thinks of duftinguishing

himfed,