685 EUSTACE BUDGELL (1686-1737) USTACE BUDGELL, one of the associates of Steele and Addison on the Spectator, was born near Exeter, England, August 19th, 1686. His mother was Addison's first cousin and when, after leaving Oxford, he went to London to attempt a living at the bar, Addison befriended him. He soon gave up law for literature, contributing to the Tatler and Guardian, as well as to the Spectator. Much of his writing was political, with no permanent value. When Addison was in the Cabinet, Budgell held office under him in various positions. He was afterwards reduced to desperate straits and his enemies accused him of dishonesty in his attempts to escape the starvation which always menaced Grub Street in his day. It is certain that his morals were doubtful and his suicide by drowning in the Thames (May 4th, 1737) is not a surprising end to his checkered career. Thirty-seven of the Spectator essays were written by him. His style is often very close to that of Addison. A$ THE LOVE AFFAIRS OF WILL HONEYCOMB Torva leana lupum sequitur, lupus ipse capellam; -Virg. Ecl. VI. 63. Lions the wolves, and wolves the kids pursue, S WE were at the club last night I observed that my old friend Sir Roger, contrary to his usual custom, sat very silent, and, instead of minding what was said by the company, was whistling to himself in a very thoughtful mood, and playing with a cork. I jogged Sir Andrew Freeport, who sat between us; and, as we were both observing him, we saw the knight shake his head, and heard him say to himself: "A foolish woman! I can't believe it." Sir Andrew gave him a gentle pat upon the shoulder, and offered to lay him a bottle of wine that he was thinking of the widow. My old friend started, and, recovering out of his brown study, told Sir Andrew that once in his life he had been in the right. In short, after some little hesitation, Sir Roger told us in the fullness of his heart, that he had just received a letter from his steward, which acquainted him that his old rival and antagonist in the country, Sir David Dundrum, had been making a visit to the widow. "However," says Sir Roger, "I can never think that she will have a man that's half a year older than I am, and a noted republican into the bargain." Will Honeycomb, who looks upon love as his particular province, interrupting our friend with a jaunty laugh, "I thought, knight," said he, "thou hadst lived long enough in the world not to pin thy happiness upon one that is a woman, and a widow. I think that, without vanity, I may pretend to know as much of the female world as any man in Great Britain; though the chief of my knowledge consists in this, that they are not to be known." Will immediately, with his usual fluency, rambled into an account of his own amours. "I am now," says he, "upon the verge of fifty" (though, by the way, we all knew he was turned of threescore). "You may easily guess," continued Will, "that I have not lived so long in the world without having had some thoughts of settling in it, as the phrase is. To tell you truly, I have several times tried my fortune that way, though I cannot much boast of my success. « "I made my first addresses to a young lady in the country; but when I thought things were pretty well drawing to a conclusion, her father happening to hear that I had formerly boarded with a surgeon, the old put forbade me his house, and within a fortnight after married his daughter to a fox hunter in the neighborhood. "I made my next application to a widow, and attacked her so briskly that I thought myself within a fortnight of her. As I waited upon her one morning she told me that she intended to keep her ready money and jointure in her own hand, and desired me to call upon her attorney in Lyon's-Inn, who would adjust with me what it was proper for me to add to it. I was so rebuffed by this overture that I never inquired either for her or her attorney afterwards. "A few months after, I addressed myself to a young lady who was an only daughter, and of a good family. I danced with her at several balls, squeezed her by the hand, said soft things to her, and in short made no doubt of her heart; and, though my fortune was not equal to hers, I was in hopes that her fond father would not deny her the man she had fixed her affections upon. But as I went one day to the house, in order to break the matter to him, I found the whole family in confusion, and heard, to my unspeakable surprise, that Miss Jenny was that very morning run away with the butler. "I then courted a second widow, and am at a loss to this day how I came to miss her, for she had often commended my person and behavior. Her maid, indeed, told me one day that her mistress said she never saw a gentleman with such a spindle pair of legs as Mr. Honeycomb. "After this I laid siege to four heiresses successively, and, being a handsome young dog in those days, quickly made a breach in their hearts; but I don't know how it came to pass, though I seldom failed of getting the daughter's consent, I could never in my life get the old people on my side. "I could give you an account of a thousand other unsuccessful attempts, particularly of one which I made some years since upon an old woman, whom I had certainly borne away with flying colors if her relations had not come pouring in to her assistance from all parts of England; nay, I believe I should have got her at last had not she been carried off by a hard frost." As Will's transitions are extremely quick, he turned from Sir Roger, and, applying himself to me, told me there was a passage in the book I had considered last Saturday which deserved to be writ in letters of gold; and taking out a pocket Milton, read the following lines, which are part of one of Adam's speeches to Eve after the fall: Creator wise! that peopled highest heaven With spirits masculine, create at last This novelty on earth, this fair defect Of nature, and not fill the world at once With men, as angels, without feminine? Or find some other way to generate Mankind? This mischief had not then befall'n, As some misfortune brings him, or mistake; Or whom he wishes most shall seldom gain, By parents; or his happiest choice too late To a fell adversary, his hate or shame: Which infinite calamity shall cause To human life, and household peace confound." Sir Roger listened to this passage with great attention; and, desiring Mr. Honeycomb to fold down a leaf at the place, and lend him his book, the knight put it up in his pocket and told us that he would read over these verses again before he went to bed. Complete. From the Spectator-No. 359 I LOVE AFTER MARRIAGE Candida perpetuo reside, concordia, lecto, -Mart. Epig. xiii., Lib. IV. 7. Perpetual harmony their bed attend, HAVE Somewhere met with a fable that made Wealth the father of Love. It is certain that a mind ought at least to be free from the apprehensions of want and poverty before it can fully attend to all the softnesses and endearments of this passion; notwithstanding, we see multitudes of married people who are utter strangers to this delightful passion amidst all the affluence of the most plentiful fortunes. It is not sufficient to make a marriage happy that the humors of two people should be alike. I could instance an hundred pair who have not the least sentiment of love remaining for one another, yet are so like in their humors, that, if they were not already married, the whole world would design them for man and wife. The spirit of love has something so extremely fine in it that it is very often disturbed and lost by some little accidents, which the careless and unpolite never attend to, until it is gone past recovery. Nothing has more contributed to banish it from a married state than too great a familiarity and laying aside the common rules of decency. Though I could give instances of this in several particulars, I shall only mention that of dress. The beaux and belles about town, who dress purely to catch one another, think there is no further occasion for the bait when their first design has succeeded. But besides the too common fault, in point of neatness, there are several others which I do not remember to have seen touched upon, but in one of our modern comedies, where a French woman offering to undress and dress herself before the lover of the play, and assuring her mistress that it was very usual in France, the lady tells her that is a secret in dress she never knew before, and that she was so unpolished an English woman as to resolve never to learn to dress even before her husband. There is something so gross in the carriage of some wives that they lose their husbands' hearts for faults which, if a man has either good nature or good breeding, he knows not how to tell them of. I am afraid, indeed, the ladies are generally most faulty in this particular; who, at their first giving into love, find the way so smooth and pleasant that they fancy it is scarce possible to be tired in it. There is so much nicety and discretion required to keep love alive after marriage, and make conversation still new and agreeable after twenty or thirty years, that I know nothing which seems readily to promise it, but an earnest endeavor to please on both sides, and superior good sense on the part of the man. By a man of sense I mean one acquainted with business and letters. A woman very much settles her esteem for a man according to the figure he makes in the world and the character he bears among his own sex. As learning is the chief advantage we have over them, it is, methinks, as scandalous and inexcusable for a man of fortune to be illiterate as for a woman not to know how to behave herself on the most ordinary occasions. It is this |