prayers? His unfeigned fear of God, his love for the truth, his rare prudence, and his indefatigable zeal, are worthy of imitation.

Jan. 14, 1791. Thou knowest, Lord, how variable my spirit has been for these days past; at one time, full of joy in thee when thou didst approach thyself to me; at another, sadly cast down, when thou didst go far from me, if I failed to cleave closely enough to thee, in proportion to what strength I had. It is thy will that I should keep close to thee; therefore, when I do not do it, thou chastisest me so sensibly with sorrow and coldness. Lord, thou art righteous, and thy judgments are mercy. Behold, here I am, Lord! Be it done, as seemeth good in thine eyes.

March 2. Yesterday evening, a little after nine o'clock, we returned safely under thy care to Münster, from our journey to Hamburg, Bremen, &c. I must give thee thanks, for thou hast kept us as the apple of thine eye. Not once was there the least alarm of any bodily hurt threatening us; and what is yet more, thou hast also guarded our souls; thou hast continued constantly present with me, even in the midst of all kinds of distractions, and the more I had of earthly things before me, the more didst thou draw my heart away from them. If my spirit, through want of watchfulness, or even through fatigue, was somewhat dissipated towards evening, in the morning I found it again perfectly collected, and full of desires after thee. Yet never didst thou make me pay so dear for the sweetness of trusting in thee, as one day in Hamburg; never till then did I clearly see, that we were in a strange country, where we had to converse with people who do not harmonize with us. It seemed to me all along, and it still seems to me, that thou hadst some purpose in our journey, which was not known to ourselves. Help us to compass it, and forgive the faults which I have committed during the journey.

March 5th. These three days, from the second of the month, in the midst of a variety of affairs, through a longing desire to be pleasing to thee, O Lord, and to fulfil thy will in all things, which I felt yesterday more particularly have vanished from before me, as if I had been dreaming. Ah! Lord, accomplish the work of thy grace within me; how long must it yet be, before I live entirely and only to thee, hidden in thee with thy beloved Son? Without this, I cannot and would not live, and without this, may I never be content to die. Accomplish the work of thy grace with me, through Jesus Christ. Amen.

me.

March 18. The open air sometimes has an extraordinary effect upon For it seems to me as if at every step, I must fall upon my

knees and pray. "Adoro te, quem non capio, sed sapio, quia dulcis es. (I adore thee, whom I comprehend not, but whom I taste how sweet thou art.)

May 6th. (The beginning of my 38th year.) It is a vanity to wish for a long life, and not to be solicitous for a good life.-O Lord, make me live in future to thee alone. The sins of my youth, my ignorances and negligences, do not remember!

July 13. I have been greatly comforted to-day with the clear view that we ought not particularly to strive to be free from temptations, but to persevere in doing the will of God under them. In the former case, self-love is too busy as it likes to appear beautiful to itself, and to be free from burdens.

July 16. The sight of the crucifix in the church-yard, reminded me of the good Shepherd, to whom all things live, and who preserves even the bones of his holy ones. His care for his sheep appeared to me so clearly, that I was greatly affected by it.

August 18. I was ashamed to tell the schoolmasters that I intended to say mass tomorrow, and to implore the assistance of the Holy Ghost for myself and them. What even now could be the motive of such shyness? Just now it seems to me, that perhaps it may be found in the feeling of what a contrast there would be between such a declaration and many of my actions which are out of accordance with it. The more I think at certain times that I have advanced in virtue, so much the less do I feel of this kind of shyness.

September 3rd. For some days, O Father, thou hast again given me more taste and strength for the works of my calling; thou hast also kept me in a state of active zeal, and, as I think, hast continued near to me. At other times, an hour's work has often drawn me away from thee; now I remain in thy presence, even though I work several hours together. Might not this be a hint from thee, that I ought to exert myself in earnest, to complete a work (the Guide), already so long under hand, and so much wanted, and that thou wilt assist me in this? Behold, Lord, here I am, make use of me according to thy good pleasure; I am determined, I wish to co-operate with thy grace.

Sept. 22. Thou hast again restored me to health, dear Father. I thank thee for my illness; I thank thee for my recovery. Both are thy gifts; my spirit is willing to accept both with the like readiness from thee; not so my flesh. During my indisposition thou didst make me tranquil and happy, so long as I seemed to myself to be incapable of business. I again resigned myself, as is usual in such circumstances,

to relaxation and ease, as if, because I could not do my business as usual, I was also dispensed from all exertion. It was, therefore, a great grace for me, that the day before yesterday and yesterday, as my strength returned, thou didst oppress me so heavily with disquietude and unhappiness, in order to awaken me again from my slumber, and to put on me the necessity of uniting myself again more closely by prayer, and by the entire surrender of myself to thy will, with thee, my comfort, my refuge, and my strength. That I did yesterday in particular, and to-day thou hast already made me experience the good effects of it.

Sept. 30. It is a great grace, O Lord, which thou hast shown me, that thou hast placed me in a state of life, in which I have little occasion to meddle with concerns purely belonging to this world. What should I come to, if I were bound up with them as so many others are, seeing they so quickly make me forget myself. My weakness made it necessary that thou shouldest provide other business for me. To thee be praise for eternity!

Oct. 29. Yesterday the Lord again gave me humility and confidence during the instruction. In the prayer it was as though it were said to me (as also it has seemed at other times), it will go off well. It may be, that I say this in secret to myself, or that thou sayest it to my soul; it has at least the effect of imparting to me courage and strength, and so any ways it is, and it continues to be thy grace.

Jan. 2, 1792. Thou hast enabled me to conclude the past year and to begin the present, with a particularly strong desire of being at length, once for all, entirely renovated. I sometimes remark in myself an extraordinary impulse towards it, about which I am often in doubt whether I ought to endeavour to suppress or yet farther to increase it. The former seems to me prudent, that I may not weary myself out by this impulse, about which I sometimes have my fears, that its vehemence may not be from thee. To the other way I am more inclined, in the hope that the flame of this desire, and the violence of this impulse, may at last crush and consume the old man. In this view I also reckon this the prudent way, since I must be strongly driven on within, if I wish not to fall asleep. Then again it appears to me to be the best way, to do nothing in regard to this impulse, but to leave. thee to work within me. Lord, teach me to do that which pleaseth thee. There is danger on all sides.

Jan. 20. The Lord continues still to move me from time to time with great power. I fear that I take too much pleasure in these mo

tions, that I do not apply them properly to the purpose for which they are intended; that is, to draw me out from myself, to give me humility and self-denial, and that I thus allow to pass by the time of visitation, and thereby, moreover, prepare for myself a heavy judgment. Teach me, O Lord, rightly to improve thy graces.

Feb. 26. Although at present this work (the Guide) has occupied me in such a way, that I could not rightly think of anything else, and that I have also given myself up entirely to it, and through whole days, have thought but very little, leisurely, on God; yet every morning he has again been near me in my waking and at mass, and through the day has continued at the bottom of my heart, which last meanwhile has appeared by degrees to sink lower and lower. Wherefore, also, I have wished so much the more to get on with my work so far, that I might again be able to think more on him, and to keep myself more collected in his presence. I feared that a long time would be required for me to be able to arrive again at a state of real recollection; but no sooner, yesterday, had I put aside my work, and made an effort to turn myself again entirely to him, than he also returned to me, made everything out of himself again seem little in my eyes, made it again strike me more forcibly, that he is all in all-that by him are all things —that transitory things exist for no purpose but to bring us back to him—that all transitory things are nothing but a ladder, on which we may ascend to him-only a cloud, which softens to our yet too feeble eyes, the dazzling brightness of His Majesty.

May 14. Since the 24th of last month, I have been engaged for all the time which the instruction in the school and the hearing of confessions left me free, in looking over the book for the schoolmasters. Doing this, reminded me in a lively manner, how many hours, weeks, months, I have sometimes worked, without putting anything rational, or, at least, anything useful to paper. This awakened the reflection, could then all the labour bestowed on this object, be lost to myself and others? Hence I saw more clearly HOW USELESS, FOOLISH, AND

CONTEMPTIBLE IS ALL TROUBLE AND TOIL WHICH IS NOT LABOUR

OF LOVE AND LABOUR FOR LOVE. Even when at peace, as I am now, I feel a disgust at the effects of all exertions, when love is not the moving principle of them; and yet so often I act without love, I act in this manner or in that from custom, or from lurking vanity, from the fear of man, or ill-humour.

June 25. The impulse to work by love, has been yet farther strengthened by the feeling of the nothingness. of every thing without

love. Love is the gift of God, but it depends on our endeavours. I observe, at least I think that I observe, that holy love, thirst after God, the habit of referring all to God, active efforts for this end, increase within me in proportion as I seek to empty out my heart. I do not know when the Lord has made me feel his universal presence, and the nothingness of all things besides him, so sensibly as yesterday and a few days previous, although I read little or nothing good, and was full of the employments of my calling, The only thing which I can have contributed to it, must have been my efforts to desire nothing but him. What happiness would it be, if we desired only him. I have at least a foretaste of this. Self always comes in the way of my impulse to act by love. I allow myself easily to be deterred from it by difficulties; I act in ways contrary to what charity demands, from pettishness, from the love of ease, from laziness, for which self-love has plenty of specious excuses. Procrastination is still a great fault of mine.

Dec. 25. BE FAITHFUL IN THAT WHICH IS LEAST, When, O Lord, wilt thou so correct, awaken, and strengthen me, that I may duly follow this so important precept? I am so clearly convinced that everything depends on this precept, and yet I follow it so little. Either it does not occur to my mind at the right time, or my self-love deludes me with plausible excuses, and thus leads me to being unfaithful. This want of faithfulness in little things, I believe I must also consider as the cause why, for some days past, my peevish tempers, against which I have determined to contend with more vigour, are again become more frequent and strong. True, indeed it is, whoever will come to being born again, must die to himself. The idea of what is pleasant or unpleasant, comes so often before me, perhaps oftener than not, instead of the idea of what is agreeable to the will and goodpleasure of God, when I think of the execution of my duties; and although I wish, and even strive, to regulate myself according to the will and good-pleasure of God, yet I perceive that I am still continually drawn away with the idea of the pleasant and the unpleasant.

Jan. 1793. To-day the Lord has enabled me, by reading the first sermon of Tauler on the Feast of the Three Holy Kings, to represent to myself as agreeable, contradictions and afflictions of every kind, so that I now feel in myself a greater inclination to suffer them, than before I had to avoid them. It is most true that, if we will not ourselves put away the old man, if we will not ourselves put him to death, it is an exceeding great grace, when the Lord, notwithstanding our negligence and unfaithfulness, continues still, by exterior and interior suf