size; ornaments, of various kinds, were fixed profusely over it, and an equal quantity of finery adorned a pair of canvas trousers, in which the limbs of the possessor could only have formed a fourth part of the solid contents. Where flesh and bone were wanting, tow and bolsters supplied their place; and, to judge by superficial observations, one or two feather beds must have been required to produce that resemblance to the Negro Venus which was so uncommonly conspicuous in the Greenland Neptune.

A mask, the color of soot, (which material probably had served to paint it) disguised the countenance of the marine diety; most likely, lest the glory of its effulgence should have proved as fatal to us as was the brilliant phiz of Jupiter to his mistress; while upon his head was erected a lofty superstructure, conposed of the skin of a bear's head, and one of its legs. The still savage aspect of the grisly beast grinned. dauntingly over the forehead of the king of waters, while the leg, stuffed out like the stocking of a gouty alderman, was placed perpendicularly, in the manner of a soldier's feather, which it was intended to resemble. There was a wig, too, rather out of curl, dangling down his back, which had once been a swab, or mop of rope; and from his middle hung a large padlock, in lieu of a watch, to which were attached several keys, of a proportionate size and quality. The most striking, as well as the most appropriate, appendage to the ocean monarch, was a large harpoon, suspended in a sealskin belt, like a broad-sword; nor should I omit that he wore a beard as big as the tail of a Shetland pony would admit of its being made.

I have said Neptune came not alone; but I shall not attempt to describe the multitudinous array of disguise and masquery, which decked and concealed his followers. I must, however, observe, that he was

and

attended in all due form by proper officers of state, in their robes of ceremony; but whether they could compete with the courtiers who, on certain solemn occasions, environ his Majesty of England, I am unable, from want of sufficient information, to determine. I am sure, however, that our sovereign lord does not possess one attendant whom I noticed near to the person of the briny king, namely, a barber; a barber, too, whose power, whose will to employ it were as great and as formidable as the influence of the barber of the eleventh Louis of France. I made these observations while the barber's mate, (the barber and his mates appearing to be the executive portion of the royal escort) was employed in summoning my friend from the depths of slumber; for it was but a little past one o'clock in the morning of the first of May, and sleep had not long embalmed his soul in calm oblivion. When he awoke, which he generally did very leisurely, though now the furious greetings of the pots and kettles tore him from the arms of Morpheus with ungracious speed. he started out of bed with rapidity, totally unaware of the nature of the call. ile had, it seems, sup posed, in a dream occasioned by the uproar in the cabin, that the vessel had run foul of a mass of ice, and was foundering; while the voices he heard, and the accompanying music, he converted into the cries of the drowning, and the confusion and tumult of a ship going down. It was impossible for him to run far, so dense was the crowd that sur rounded Neptune, or else he proba bly would have hurried deck, upon to secure his escape; so that he was compelled to stand, like a statue, half animated, staring in amazement at the strangely attired beings before him.

It would have been impossible for any one to have looked at my friend, at that moment, without feeling an irresistable impulse to grin;

and, in spite of the effort of the god of the seas to retain his gravity, he, with his whole court, burst out into such a peal of convulsive laughter that the Leviathan rang with it from stem to stern, and several mollymawks, which were flying in her course, started off in full speed, in affright.

In the mean time, the cause of this merriment recovered sufficient presence of mind to return to his cabin, though he could not yet tell what manner of men, if men they could be, had thus beset him. Neptune, however, having regained his serious deportment, fitted a speaking trumpet to his mouth, and, first making a prefatory flourish in the ear of the doctor," he called upon him, by the allegiance he owed to the sovereign of the ocean, to arise and follow him to the presence of his queen, who being in labour, had need of a skilful midwife.

By this time my friend's recollection had obtained its wonted powers, and he began to comprehend the drift of what was passing before him; whereupon he replied, in a submissive tone, that ill health confined him to his couch, but that he would send a cordial to her majesty, which would more than supply his place. To this proposal Neptune most graciously condescended to accede, and two bottles of whiskey were placed in his hands, by the man of medicines, who desired that a bumper might be given to the royal sufferer without delay. The fond husband, however, satisfied with possessing the remedy,

seemed not to consider the occasion for applying it quite so pressing as before; he still remained standing near our cabin, as if in profound meditation, till another prelude on his trumpet announced his intention to break silence.

This speech the divinity addressed to his barber, requiring to be informed whether there was any one present who had not legally obtained the freedom of the Greenland

Seas; and, being made acquainted that a stranger had crossed the Arctic circle without due qualifications for so doing, his godship called upon the intruder either to pay the fine required by the usuages of his kingdom, or to appear upon deck, and undergo the process of shaving and ducking, as by law established.

Taking this hint, which was intended for me, I handed out from my chest two bottles of brandy, which I had provided for the purpose, and begged his majesty to bear my most humble wishes to his spouse, for her well being during her time of trial; but this commission was rendered unnecessary, by the appearance of the Queen herself, who, apparently recovered, had sallied forth to join her consort, in receiving the congratulations of the Captain and his officers.

Congratulations were accordingly given; not in words, but in bumpers of rum-a mode of speaking generally in vogue on board Greenlandmen, and far more expressive than the digital language of the deaf and dumb school; or the invisible and inaudible reciprocation of ideas practised by the merchants of the Red Sea. Then an universal cry for music was raised, and "Jock the cook" applied his bow to his fiddle, scraping out such direful discord from its strings, that the imagination might have supposed the guts of which they were formed were sensible both of their twisted condition, and of the unmerciful grating administered to them by the bonny Scot, in the performance of his overture, for after a while the mess kettles and pannakins, as if aroused by the tuneful hand of their liege lord, the cook, burst in full clangour upon the ear. The spirit of Orpheus was shed over the souls of the royal band; every leg, arm, head, and feature of the motley crew yielded to the impulse and an up roar took place as full of outrageo merriment, as if all the devils Pandemonium had joined with t

maniacs of Bedlam to celebrate the mad mysteries of Bacchus. Thus the dancing continued for some time, nor did the music cease; and though Neptune and his consort were bolstered out to a bulk equal to that of five of their subjects they, too, struggled in the mazy vortex.

At length the desire for singing began to supersede the humour of dancing, and for which purpose the Bacchanalians arranged themselves with genuine Saturnalian freedom, round the cabin, of which they had taken complete possession. From the position in which my bed was placed I could obtain a full view of the grotesque assembly, and, certainly, no parallel could be found to the garish crew that composed it.

Neptune, who, from his immense bulk, could with difficulty be seated, placed himself and his consort opposite the mirror, which hung between the cabin windows; most probably to enjoy the sight of their own distorted buffoonery, while their prime minister, the barber, stood ready with his mates to serve out drams and keep the ring in order. The others were stationed promiscuously about the room, leaving a space in the centre, immediately before their divine superiors. After the first song, a ration of brandy and rum was distributed to all hands, and when completed the barber addressed his majesty of the seas, and informed him that he had discovered certain young men who had passed the line without the royal licence. "Let them be brought before us," cried the potentate, waving his harpoon which held the place of trident, sword and sceptre.

In obedience to his command, the ready barber approached one of the lads, or 66 green men," and invited him in a manner somewhat compulsory, to advance before the throne.

After a few questions put to the unlucky subject, he was ordered to

go down upon his knees to receive the gracious gift of freedom. It was in vain to resist; one of the barber's clerks quickly bound his hands, the other held a dirty pot, filled with a dingy mixture of pitch, train-oil, and other nauseous ingredients, while the barber, dipping into it a brush, formed of stiff shreds of whalebone, be-plaistered the chin and lips of the unwilling victim with an unsparing hand. It would be needless to detail the grimaces made by the latheree, or the grins of the latherer and his companions. Quick experience taught the sufferer that calling for mercy was not the way to obtain it, for upon the least appearance of an intention to speak, the brush, thickly gorged with la ther, was slipped into his mouth. Indeed the process was commenced by stuffing a full charge of the noisome mixture up the nostrils, which obliging the patient to part his lips for breath, afforded an opportunity for introducing the reeking tuft of whalebone between them.

Lathering being completed, a razor was handed to the operator by his chief mate; a razor forged from a piece of iron hoop, with its edge notched purposely like a saw. A heavy application of this instru ment then followed, which left visible marks of the operation. Many tempting questions were, meanwhile, offered to the youth, who, if he were unwary enough to reply to them, received the scrapings of his chin on his tongue, so adroit had prac tice rendered this barbarous barber.

The end of shaving was the ter mination of this installation; for though, on crossing the Equinoctial a severe ducking is added to the other ceremonies, in Greenland so cool an application is dispensed

with.

After three poor devils had undergone the initiatory torture, which admitted them into the fraternity of Greenland-men, another round of drams, accompanied by solos on the violin, immediately followed; songs

were again demanded, and several merry courtiers of old Neptune's train roared their utmost to delight their hearers, with inimitably facetious and laughter-stirring humour.

The barber, who was a Shetlandman by birth, possessed an idea of farce and burlesque gesticulation far superior to the generality of north country mariners; and his songs were given in a lively and expressive style. The following was one of his favorites, and if it should not prove original to others it was so to me.

"Jolly tars, jolly tars, stretch your windpipes my boys!

We have plenty of grog, let's have plenty of

horn!

Never flinch from the bowl till the liquor is gone,

He who tackles to his grog, is a right jolly dog,

But the lubber who shrinks may he perish in scorn."

Not a little clapping and thumping of hands shewed the good will of the jovial crew towards this outpouring of the spirit, and the songster was compelled to repeat it, for the general gratification. The song and joke, accompanied by bumpers at intervals was thus enjoyed by the company, the whole of the day, reckless of repose or labour, till the call of duty compelled them to desist.

Some persons may feel inclined to believe this a mere exaggerated flourish of the writer's pen; but the error will exist in their own scepticism, for it could with more propriety be increased than lessened, in minutely detailing all the customs praticed upon this occasion.

Discovery of Madeira.

In the reign of Edward the Third, a young gentleman, named Robert Machin, conceived a violent passion for Ann D'Arfet, a beautiful and accomplished lady of a noble family. Machin, with respect to birth and fortune, was inferior to the lady; but his personal qualifications overcame every scruple on that account, and she rewarded his attachment with a reciprocal affection. Their friends, however, beheld the young gentleman in a different light; they fancied their blood would be contaminated by an alliance with one of a lower rank, and therefore determined to sacrifice the happiness of the young lady, to the hereditary pride of blood, and their own mercenary and interested motives.

In consequence of these ideas a warrant was procured from the king, under the sanction of which Machin was apprehended, and kept in close confinement, till the object of his affections was married to a nobleman, whose chief merit lay in his honorary title and large possessions; and, immediately after the nuptial ceremony was over, the peer took his beautiful bride with him to a strong castle, which he had in the neighbourhood of Bristol, and then the unfortunate lover was set at liberty.

After being released from his cruel confinement, Machin was acquainted that his mistress had been compelled to give her hand to another. This rendered him almost frantic, and he vowed to revenge the violence done to the lady, and the injury which he had himself sustained. With this view he imparted his design to some of his friends and companions, who engaged to accompany him to Bristol, and assist him in whatever enterprise he undertook.

Accordingly one of his comra contrived to get himself hired the nobleman as a servant, and ing by that means introduced the family, he soon found an o