history of his completed conversion, which was also wrought in connection with words in the same Apostle, but the account of which he uniformly suppresses, for fear probably of injuring the individual to whom he was writing. (See below on b. ix. sec. 4.) "Since that vehement flame, which was about to seize me, as yet was not, I thought that by which I was slowly kindled, was the very greatest. When lo! certain books-when they had distilled a very few drops of most precious unguent on that tiny flame, it is past belief, Romanianus, past belief, and perhaps past what even you believe of me, (and what could I say more?) nay to myself also is it past belief, what a conflagration of myself they lighted. What ambition, what human show, what empty love of fame, or, lastly, what incitement or band of this mortal life could hold me then? I turned speedily and wholly back into myself. I cast but a glance, I confess, as one passing on, upon that religion which was implanted into us, as boys, and interwoven with our very inmost selves; but she drew me unknowing to herself. So then stumbling, hurrying, hesitating, I seized the Apostle Paul; 'for never,' said I, 'could they have wrought such things, or lived as it is plain they did live, if their writings and arguments were opposed to this so high good.' I read the whole most intently and carefully. But then, never so little light having now been shed thereon, such a countenance of wisdom gleamed upon me, that if I could exhibit it, I say not to you, who ever hungeredst after her though unknown-but to your very adversary, (see on b. vi. sec. 24. p. 115 note 1) casting aside and abandoning whatever now stimulates him so keenly to whatsoever pleasures, he would, amazed, panting, enkindled, fly to her Beauty." (c. Acad. ii. sec. 5.) BOOK VIII Aug.'s thirty-second year. He consults Simplicianus, from him hears the history of the conversion of Victorinus, and longs to devote himself entirely to God, but is mastered by his old habits; is still further roused by the history of S. Antony, and the conversion of two courtiers; during a severe struggle, hears a voice from heaven, opens Scripture, and is converted, with his friend Alypius. His mother's vision fulfilled. [I.] O my God, let me, with thanksgiving, remember, and confess unto Thee Thy mercies on me. Let my bones be bedewed with Thy love, and let them say unto Thee, Who is like unto Thee, O Lord? Thou hast broken my bonds in sunder, I will offer unto Thee the sacrifice of thanksgiving. And how Thou hast broken them, I will declare; and all who worship Thee, when they hear this, shall say, Blessed be the Lord, in heaven and in earth, great and wonderful is His name." Thy words had stuck fast in my heart, and I was hedged round about on all sides by Thee. Of Thy eternal life I was now certain, though I saw it in a figure and as through a glass. Yet I had ceased to doubt that there was an incorruptible substance, whence was all other substance; nor did I now desire to be more certain of Thee, but more steadfast in Thee. But for my temporal life, all was wavering, and my heart had to be purged from the old leaven. The Way, the Saviour Himself, well pleased me, but as yet I shrunk from going through its straitness. And Thou didst put into my mind, and it seemed good in my eyes, to go to Simplicianus,1 who seemed to me a good 1 Simplicianus "became a successor of the most blessed Ambrose, Bishop of the Church of Milan." (Aug. Retract. ii. 1.) To him S. Aug. wrote two books "de diversis quæstionibus," (Opp. t. vi. p. 82 sqq.) and calls him "father," (ib.) speaks of his "fatherly affection from his most benevolent heart not recent or sudden, but tried and known," (Ep. 37.) requests his "remarks and corrections of any books of his, which might chance to fall into his holy hands." (ib.) S. Ambrose servant of Thine; and Thy grace shone in him. I had heard also, that from his very youth he had lived most devoted unto Thee. Now he was grown into years; and by reason of so great age spent in such zealous following of Thy ways, he seemed to me likely to have learned much experience; and so he had. Out of which store, I wished that he would tell me (setting before him my anxieties) which were the fittest way for one in my case to walk in Thy paths. 2. For, I saw the church full; and one went this way, and another that way. But I was displeased, that I led a secular life; yea now that my desires no longer inflamed me, as of old, with hopes of honour and profit, a very grievous burden it was to undergo so heavy a bondage. For, in comparison of Thy sweetness, and the beauty of Thy house which I loved, those things delighted me no longer. But still I was enthralled with the love of woman; nor did the Apostle forbid me to marry, although he advised me to something better, chiefly wishing that all men were as himself was. But I being weak, chose the more indulgent place; and because of this alone, was tossed up and down in all beside, faint and wasted with withering cares, because in other matters, I was constrained against my will to conform myself to a married life, to which I was given up and inthralled. I had heard from the mouth of the Truth, that there were some eunuchs, which had made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake: but, saith He, let him who can receive it receive it. Surely vain are all men who are ignorant of God, and could not out of the good things which are seen, find out Him who is good. But I was no longer in that vanity; I had surmounted it; and by the common witness of all Thy creatures, had found Thee our Creator, and Thy Word, God with Thee, mentions his "having traversed the whole world, for the sake of the Faith and of acquiring Divine knowledge, and having given the whole period of this life to daily reading, night and day; that he had an acute mind, whereby he took in intellectual studies, and was in the habit of proving how far the books of philosophy were gone astray from the truth." Ep. 65. sec. 5. p. 1052. ed. Ben. See also Tillemont H. E. t. 10. Art. S. Simplicien. and together with Thee one God, by whom Thou createdst all things. There is yet another kind of ungodly, who knowing God, glorified Him not as God, neither were thankful. Into this also had I fallen, but Thy right hand upheld me, and took me thence, and Thou placedst me where I might recover. For Thou hadst said unto man, Behold, the fear of the Lord is wisdom, and, Desire not to seem wise; because they who affirmed themselves to be wise, became fools. But I had now found the goodly pearl, which, selling all that I had, I ought to have bought, and I hesitated. [II.] 3. To Simplicianus then I went, the father of Ambrose (a Bishop now) in receiving Thy grace,1 and whom Ambrose truly loved as a father. To him I related the mazes of my wanderings. But when I mentioned that I had read certain books of the Platonists, which Victorinus, sometime Rhetoric Professor of Rome, (who had died a Christian, as I had heard,) had translated into Latin, he testified his joy that I had not fallen upon the writings of other philosophers, full of fallacies and deceits, after the rudiments of this world, whereas the Platonists2 many ways led to the belief in God, and His Word. Then to exhort me to the humility of Christ, hidden from the wise, and revealed to little ones, he spoke of Victorinus himself whom while at Rome 1S. Ambrose so ends a letter to him, "Farewell, and cherish us with a parent's affection, as you do." (Ambr. Ep. 65. ad Simplic.) "I recognise therein the feelings of ancient friendship, and which is more, the affection of fatherly goodness." (Id. Ep. 35.) Some conjecture that he so terms him, as having been prepared by him for baptism; S. Aug.'s words lead rather to think that he baptized, and "so begat him in the Gospel." "Which beginning of the holy Gospel, named after S. John, a certain Platonist, (as we were wont to hear from the aged saint, Simplician, who afterward presided as Bishop over the Church of Milan,) said, ought to be written in letters of gold, and put up in the most conspicuous places in all Churches. But that God was therefore disregarded as a teacher by the proud [philosophers] because the Word was made flesh and dwelt among us. 5" Aug. de Civ. Dei, x. 29. "Victorinus, by birth an African, taught rhetoric at Rome under Constantius, and in extreme old age, giving himself up to the Faith of Christ, wrote some books against Arius dialectically [and so] very obscure, which are not understood but by the learned, and a com he had most intimately known: and of him he related what I will not conceal. For it contains great praise of Thy grace, to be confessed unto Thee, how that aged man, most learned and skilled in the liberal sciences, and who had read, and weighed so many works of the philosophers; the instructor of so many noble Senators, who also, as a monument of his excellent discharge of his office, had (which men of this world esteem a high honour) both deserved and obtained a statue in the Roman Forum; he, to that age a worshipper of idols, and a partaker of the sacrilegious rites, to which almost all the nobility of Rome were given up, and had inspired the people with the love of Anubis, barking Deity, and all The monster Gods of every kind, who fought whom Rome once conquered, now adored, all which the aged Victorinus had with thundering eloquence so many years defended;-he now blushed not to be the child of Thy Christ, and the new-born babe of Thy fountain; submitting his neck to the yoke of humility, and subduing his forehead to the reproach of the Cross. 4. O Lord, Lord, Which hast bowed the heavens and come down, touched the mountains and they did smoke, by what means didst Thou convey Thyself into that breast? He used to read (as Simplicianus said) the holy Scripture, most studiously sought and searched into all the Christian writings, and said to Simplicianus, (not openly, but privately and as a friend,) "Understand that I am already a Christian." Whereto he answered, "I will not believe it, nor will I rank you among Christians, unless I see you in the Church of Christ.' The other, in banter, replied, "Do walls then make mentary on the Apostle" [Paul]. Jerome de Viris Ill. c. 101. It is of the same probably that Gennadius speaks (de Viris Ill. c. 60.) "that he commented in a Christian and pious strain, but inasmuch as he was a man taken up with secular literature, and not trained in the divine Scriptures by any teacher, he produced what was comparatively of little weight.' Comp. Jerome Præf. in Comm. in Gal. and see Tillemont 1. c. p. 170 sqq. Some of his works are extant. "" 1 Æn. viii. 698–700. Trapp, l. 886. " |