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Bast. I know not why, except to get the land.
And were our father, and this son like him ;-
I give Heaven thanks, I was not like to thee.
K. John. Why, what a madcap hath Heaven lent us here!
Eli. He hath a trick † of Cœur-de-lion's face,
Do you not read some tokens of my son
K. John. Mine eye hath well examined his parts,
Bast. Well, sir, by this you cannot get my land; Your tale must be, how he employ'd my mother. Rob. And once despatch'd him in an embassy To Germany, there, with the emperor, To treat of high affairs touching that time: The advantage of his absence took the king, And in the mean time sojourn'd at my father's; Where how he did prevail, I shame to speak: But truth is truth; large lengths of seas and shores Between my father and my mother lay
(As I have heard my father speak himself), When this same lusty gentleman was got.
+ Trace, outline.
Upon his death-bed he by will bequeath'd
K. John. Sirrah, your brother is legitimate;
Bast. Of no more force to dispossess me, sir, Than was his will to get me, as I think.
Eli. Whether hadst thou rather, be a Faulconbridge,
And like thy brother, to enjoy thy land;
Or the reputed son of Cœur-de-lion,
Lord of thy presence*, and no land beside?
Bast. Madam, an if my brother had my shape,
And I had his, sir Robert his, like him;
My arms such eel-skins stuff'd; my face so thin,
Lest men should say, Look, where three-farthings goes!
And, to his shape, were heir to all this land,
* Dignity of appearance.
'Would I might never stir from off this place,
I'd give it every foot to have this face;
Eli. I like thee well; Wilt thou forsake thy fortune, Bequeath thy land to him, and follow me? I am a soldier, and now bound to France.
Bast. Brother, take you my land, I'll take my chance:
Your face hath got five hundred pounds a year;
Eli. Nay, I would have you go before me thither.
Bast. Philip, my liege; so is my name begun;
Kneel thou down Philip, but arise more great;
Bast, Brother, by the mother's side, give me
My father gave me honour, yours gave land :—
Eli. The very spirit of Plantagenet!—
I am thy grandame, Richard; call me so. Bast. Madam, by chance, but not by truth: What though?
Something about, a little from the right,
In at the window, or else o'er the hatch:
Near or far off, well won is still well shot;
K. John. Go, Faulconbridge; now hast thou thy desire,
A landless knight makes thee a landed 'squire.
Come, madam, and come, Richard; we must speed For France, for France; for it is more than need. Bast. Brother, adieu; Good fortune come to thee! For thou wast got i'the way of honesty.
[Exeunt all but the Bastard.
A foot of honour better than I was;
But many a many foot of land the worse.
Good den*, sir Richard,-God a-mercy, fellow-
For your conversion t. Now your traveller,-
And talking of the Alps, and Apennines,
It draws towards supper in conclusion so.
And fits the mounting spirit, like myself:
* Good evening. Change of condition. Catechism.
Sweet, sweet, sweet poison for the age's tooth:
Enter Lady Faulconbridge and James Gurney. O me! it is my mother:-How now, good lady? What brings you here to court so hastily?
Lady F. Where is that slave, thy brother? where is he?
That holds in chase mine honour up and down?
Lady F. Sir Robert's son! Ay, thou unreverend boy,
Sir Robert's son: Why scorn'st thou at sir Robert? He is sir Robert's sou; and so art thou.
Bast. James. Gurney, wilt thou give us leave a while?
Gur. Good leave, good Philip.
There's toys abroad; anon I'll tell thee more.
Madam, I was not old sir Robert's son;
To whom am I beholden for these limbs ?
Sir Robert never holp to make this leg.
Lady F. Hast thou conspired with thy brother
* Idle reports.