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REPORT OF AN ADJUDGED CASE.
But gaudy plumage, sprightly strain,
And of a transient date;
Soon passed the wiry grate.
Thanks, gentle swain, for all my woes,
And cure of every ill!
Had been your prisoner still.
REPORT OF AN ADJUDGED CASE,
NOT TO BE FOUND IN ANY OF THE BOOKS.
BETWEEN Nose and Eyes a strange contest arose,
The spectacles set them unhappily wrong;
To which the said spectacles ought to belong.
So Tongue was the lawyer, and argued the cause
With a great deal of skill, and a wig full of learning; While Chief Baron Ear sat to balance the laws,
So famed for his talent in nicely discerning.
“In behalf of the Nose it will quickly appear,
And your lordship,' he said, 'will undoubtedly find, That the Nose has had spectacles always in wear,
Which amounts to possession time out of mind.'
Then holding the spectacles up to the court,
Your lordship observes they are made with a straddle, As wide as the bridge of the Nose is; in short,
15 Designed to sit close to it, just like a saddle.
“Again, would your lordship a moment suppose
('Tis a case that has happened, and may be again) That the visage or countenance had not a Nose,
Pray who would, or who could, wear spectacles then? 20
“On the whole it appears, and my argument shows,
With a reasoning the court will never condemn, That the spectacles plainly were made for the Nose,
And the Nose was as plainly intended for them.'
Then shifting his side, as a lawyer knows how,
He pleaded again in behalf of the Eyes;
For the court did not think they were equally wise.
So his lordship decreed, with a grave solemn tone,
Decisive and clear, without one if or butThat, whenever the Nose put his spectacles on,
By daylight or candlelight-Eyes should be shut.
“Si te fortè meæ gravis uret sarcina chartæ,
HOR, Lib. 1. Ep. 13.
[ARGUMENT :—True and false glory, 1–Kings made for men, 47– Royalty in England, 63-Quevedo's satire on kings, 94–Kings to be pitied, 108—Englishmen's scorn of arbitrary rule, 205-French and English character contrasted, 235—Blessings of freedom, 261–Freedom needs the restraints of law, 311—Instance in the Gordon Riots, 319– Patriotism of Chatham, 337–Political dangers of England, 363— National corruption portends national ruin, 415–Politics and Providence, 439—Poets are Prophets, 481–Lofty subjects to be chosen for Poetry, 507—Homer, Virgil, Milton, 557—Progress of Poesy, 569– Religion the highest theme for the Poet, 718.]
A. You told me, I remember, glory built
B. I grant that men continuing what they are,
Let laurels drenched in pure Parnassian dews,
Who with a courage of unshaken root,
15 In Honour's field advancing his firm foot, Plants it upon the line that Justice draws, And will prevail or perish in her cause. 'Tis to the virtues of such men, man owes His portion in the good that Heaven bestows; And when recording History displays Feats of renown, though wrought in ancient days, Tells of a few stout hearts that fought and died Where Duty placed them, at their country's side; The man that is not moved with what he reads,
But let eternal Infamy pursue
35 With all the savage thirst a tiger feels; Then view him, self-proclaimed in a gazette, Chief monster that has plagued the nations yet! The globe and sceptre in such hands misplaced, Those ensigns of dominion, how disgraced! The glass that bids man mark the fleeting hour, And Death's own scythe, would better speak his power; Then grace the bony phantom in their stead With the king's shoulder-knot and gay cockade ; Clothe the twin brethren in each other's dress,
45 The same their occupation and success.
A. 'Tis your belief the world was made for man, Kings do but reason on the selfsame plan; Maintaining yours, you cannot theirs condemn, Who think, or seem to think, man made for them. 50
B. Seldom, alas! the power of logic reigns With much sufficiency in royal brains;
Such reasoning falls like an inverted cone,
O bright occasions of dispensing good,
A. Guard what you say; the patriotic tribe