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the war of Germany-stalwart, mighty, invincible. It has also struck me that the band which you honour by belonging to might be brought into efficient service as Gentlemen-at-Knife-and-Fork!” No doubt you have in your valorous corps many who pant to distinguish themselves. As for a constant supply of troops, as apoplexy and indigestion take off the veterans—though it is not to be expected that some in the flower of their manhood will not perish in the mêlée of courses—I have little fear for new recruits. And then, how pleasantly would read the advertisement! Not as now, with an abrupt-“Wanted, a few fine Young Men :" but invitingly thus—"To all Diners-Out!" Delightful system of war-pleasant campaigning-in which one Falstaff is more than a match for ten Cæsars !
Again, the marks of glory would be more distinct upon the persons of the renowned than at the present day, when you may pass a hero of a score of fights, and see nothing in him that denotes a warrior. Let men dine for conquest, and the flushed face-the purpureal nose—the eyes twinkling in little pits of fat—the portly abdomen—the heavy, majestic foot-the broad shoulder,—all will publish to the admiring world the hero who can-eat!
It is evident that the Turks had some glimpses of this system-some dim revealings of its use and goodness, which, however, they wanted genius and force of character to improve and carry out; for I learn from Von Hammer that the Janizaries were constantly reminded of the care bestowed upon their wants, by the names of their officers, and by other contrivances. Thus, the colonel or head of a regiment was called the tshorbadgi, or soup-maker ; the officers next in rank were chief cooks and water-drawers ; the soldiers carried a wooden spoon in front of their caps instead of a tuft or feather, and the kettle or cauldron was the sacred standard or rallying point of every regiment! The Janizaries have fallen; and doubtless fallen because of their imperfect apprehension of what will hereafter be acknowledged a great first principle.
And then in what sweet, what savoury names may we enshrine our contests-our unctuous victories ! “ The Battle of the Haunch!”— “ The Battle of the Sweetbreads !"- -“ The Siege of the Perigord Pie!”
-“ The Retreat on the Roast Pig!”—“The Skirmish at Pancakes !" -and fifty, nay, five hundred other names, presenting no fearful images of blood, wounds, and death, but, of creature-comforts and the best of living; no seas of blood, but as Jack Falstaff says, “ gravy, gravy!"
I heartily trust that the sentiment so happily let fall by Marshal Soult will be carried into immediate practical effect; as a philanthropist, I hope it; as your friend, I particularly desire it, for whilst war is continued as at present, I see no prospect of your corps distinguishing itselfwhilst as “Gentlemen-at-Knife-and-Fork,” great would be your glory, great your execution !
Your friend, ever,
ANDREW HONEYMOUTH. P.S. Chelsea and Greenwich Hospitals might still remain asylums for the invalided-the gouty and dyspeptic.
THE SUMMER NIGHT.
Come Mary, come! the sun is set,
Dance in the breeze.
Our presence greet.
Such odours rise,
On earth at night.
The queen of night.
Šmiles 'neath the moon.
With matchless grace.
Music we hear!
Do sweetly steal.
Have banish'd sleep.
Speaks to the heart.
A. F. C.
ADMIRAL LORD MIZENDECK'S NARRATIVE.
BY THE LATE WATTY COCKNEY, ESQ., AUTHOR OF THE ADMIRAL'S
DAUGHTER; OR THE MAN OF FASHION AT SEA.”
(EDITED BY THE AUTHOR OF PAUL PRY.”).
[In publishing the “ Admiral's Daughter,” the Editor took upon himself the heavy responsibility of suppressing the entire of the Admiral's own Personal Narrative. For this he has been severely, and, he is willing to acknowledge, justly rebuked. One word, however, he may be permitted to say in defence of that proceeding. Although fully aware that the work intrusted to his superintendence was a work of surpassing excellence, he could scarcely foresee that it was destined at once to place its now illustrious author upon the very highest pinnacle of Fame; else would he not have dared to withhold from the world one single word that had emanated from the master-mind of Watty Cockney. Sufficient and the best atonement is now made for the error.
In the work before us the author touches upon many subjects—things collegiate, legal, and military: but its most important portions are those relating to modern or (rather, it should be said) recent French History, and to the manners, habits, and customs of Parisian Society. These he has described, whether in the glare of the public theatre, at the domestic fireside, or in the quiet seclusion of the cloister: and all with that scrupulous accuracy, that unimpeachable fidelity, by which, in his pictures of Naval Life, he has achieved an immortal celebrity. P*.]
Admiral Lord Mizendeck's Narrative-Educated at the two Universi
ties-Studies the Civil Law-Abanı'uns the Law and goes to Sea.
"It is now nearly nineteen years since the ruthless destroyer who lays his cold hand alike on the prince and the peasant, the rich one and the poor-need I say, Death ?—took from me the most indulgent of mothers. Who shall say that grief is powerless to kill ? Within one little week of this melancholy event, my father, inconsolable for the loss of his gentle partner in the giddy waltz of life, was seized with a putrid fever of the most malignant character, and died of a broken heart! Thus was I, at the age of twenty-seven, left an orphan in the wide world! But to return. My father, like yours, my dear Jessamine, being a man of fashion and fortune, put me, at an early age, into the University of Cambridge to receive the rudiments of my education; and in my thirteenth year I was removed to Oxford to complete it. At the former place I was perfected in reading, writing, and ciphering ; at the latter, I was taught navigation, geography, and the use of the globes. Like you, I had always longed for a sea-faring life, so that I devoted myself sedulously to those studies. By the most trifling of accidents was this longing converted into a resolute determination—80 extraordinarily are the most important events of life made to turn on the uncertain pivot of chance! Upon the occasion of some public rejoicing the head master of Oxford gave the boys a half-holiday. Accompanied by the usher we all went to a neighbouring tea-garden, where we regaled ourselves with tea and hot buttered rolls, gingerbread, apples, and other boyish luxuries. In the course of the afternoon the place was visited by a fine old sailor with a wooden leg. He sang several sea-songs, one of which was 'The Death of Admiral Benbow. My fate was sealed : my youthful heart panted for naval glory: I resolved to be an admiral.”
“ And how long after this event did you remain at college, my dear Admiral Lord Mizendeck ?” inquired I.
“Only till the end of the quarter, youngster," replied he; "when, having completed my seventeenth year, it was my father's desire that I should be expelled. I was so; and I may boast that no young man ever quitted his Universities with higher honours, or more beloved by all who knew him, than your humble. Naturally good-natured, I regularly kept my terms with everybody: generous, and careless of money, I did not care how often I was plucked. At Cambridge I won the silver medal for the best-written Christmas-piece ; at Oxford I received a handsomely-bound copy of Hamilton Moore's 'Treatise on Navigation,' for my proficiency in that science; and for my industry, and general good behaviour, I was rusticated for six weeks every summer at my father's seat in the country.'
“ And what degree did you take?” inquired I.
“ None," replied the Admiral : "it was my father's wish, indeed, that I should be appointed a Master of Arts; but, though I liked them well enough, I must in candour confess that_blow my timbers ! I was always a bad hand at drawing." “ And did
your father readily consent to your going to sea ?” said I. “ Tout au contraire, messmate,” said the Admiral; "he had determined upon a very different profession for me the law. Nor can I say he was wrong; for, being upon intimate terms with most of the twelve judges, he was fully aware of how much he might do for me in that line. To have opposed his will would have been madness : for his immense fortune being all in the funds, of which (as I knew at the time) he had not entailed one guinea, he might have left me destitute-cut me off without a single shilling. A lawyer, therefore, I consented to be requesting only leave to choose for myself the branch of the profession I should follow. This my father granted. As the son of a gentleman, of course I could not condescend to be a mere common lawyer : disliking the idea of Old Bailey practice, I resolutely refused to be called to the bar : the King's Bench was but little less objectionable to me; so I at once decided for ciril law, as being the more consonant with my own gentlemanlike habits and feelings. My father, a high-bred gentleman of the old school, declared that civil law was the very line that he should have selected for me; and, forthwith, I (being just then twenty years of age) was articled for seven years to a person admirably qualified to teach it to me-no low, six-and-eightpenny pettifogger, but Mr. Lovepeace, a most respectable solicitor in the Poultry. For seven long years I toiled in Mr. Lovepeace's office, though to very little advantage; for my mind, as you will readily believe, was running more upon cannon-law than any other. Pardon the joke. By a strange coincidence, those seven years and my dear parents expired just at the same time; and, being now master not only of myself, but also of upwards of one hundred thousand pounds in ready money, I bade an eternal adieu to law, with all its (to ne, disgusting) paraphernalia of briefs and arbitrations, of joined issues and separate indictments, of special retainers and of general warrants."
“And immediately went to sea,” said I, taking that step for granted.
“ Being in all respects independent,” replied Lord Mizendeck, “and seven-and-twenty years of age, there was nothing to prevent my going to sea instantly, and starting upon my own account; but, as I was inexperienced in nautical affairs, and, unlike many young fellows, not too proud to acknowledge it” (this he added with a sly leer at me), "I prudently resolved to put myself under the guidance of some able commander. I bethought me of my god-father, Lord Sternpost, who, at that time, happened to be Admiral of the Pride of Putney,' one of the finest frigates (as he was one of the finest officers) in the service. Nor was he inappropriately named, for he was a severe disciplinarian. To him, therefore, I wrote, stating my views and wishes ; but, as he was commanding on the Adriatic station, I knew that several months must elapse before I could receive his reply. This interval, however, I did not employ unprofitably-remember that, youngster; for from morning till night was I amongst the shipping at Deptford or Woolwich, noting down all I saw, and absolutely fatiguing the officers and sailors with my inquiries concerning naval matters : so that I was a tolerable marine before I received my god-father's answer. At length it came. Lord Sternpost briefly desired me to join him without delay; adding a request that I would call at the Admiralty for any letters or despatches there might be for him, and also just drop in at the War-office and inquire whether there was any truth in the report then current of a probability of hostilities with France. At the latter department I was informed that they had just received in. telligence, upon which they could rely, of the beheading of the French King by the tyrant Bonypart; of the consequent breaking out of the French Revolution; and of the horrible Massacre of the Innocents by the monster Robert-spear. To sum up all, they had every reason to believe that Bunypart, for the purpose of injuring our commerce, had got himself appointed to the place of Chief Consul : so that the chances of a war were more'yes' than ‘no.' At the Admiralty. I was charged with a small three-cornered note, carefully sealed, and inscribed, 'To Admiral Lord Sternpost. Private and confidential. Favoured by Neptune Mizendeck, Esq.' Of this I was desired to be particularly careful; upon no account to open it and to deliver it into the Admiral's own hands."
Here I took the liberty to interrupt Lord Mizendeck. Say what we will about Bony, my Lord,” said I, “ we must admit him to be a politician as wary as he is cautious, as deep as he is profound. Consul! a mere Consul! Had he desired to be made a Chargé-d'affaires, or an Ambassador, his ambitious projects would at once have been manifest. All he wanted was to get his foot quietly into the stirrup: he knew the rest must follow."
Lord Mizendeck looked at me for a moment with absolute astonishment.
“ Profound reflection!” at length he exclaimed. “Original and true! Wisdom beyond his years! A reflection worthy of a mature political economist!"
He approvingly patted my head, and proceeded in his narrative.