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Whate'er men do, or say, or thiuk, or dream, proceed to tell you, that Scipio appears to them, Our motley paper seizes for its theme.

and leads in his prisoner into their presence. .

The Romans, as noble as they were, seemed to White's Chocolate-house, August 22. allow themselves a little too much triumph Poor Cynthio, who does me the honour to over the conquered; therefore, as Scipio aptalk to me now and then very freely of his most proached, they all threw themselves on their secret thoughts, and tells me bis most private knees, except the lover of the lady: but Scipio frailties, owned to me, that though he is in observing in bim a manly sullenness, was the his very prime of life, love had killed all his more inclined to favour bim, and spoke to him desires, and he was now as much to be trusted in these words : with a fine lady as if he were eighty. “That 'It is not the manner of the Romans to use one passion for Clarissa has taken up,' said he, all the power they justly may: we fight not to 'my whole soul; and all my idle fames are ravage countries, or break through the ties of extinguished, as you may observe ordinary fires humanity. I am acquainted with your worth, are often put out by the sunshine.'

and your interest in this lady: fortune has This was a declaration not to be made but made me your master; but I desire to be your npon the highest opinion of a man's sincerity ; friend. This is your wife ; take her, and may yet as much a subject of raillery as such a the gods bless you with ber! But far be it froin speech would be, it is certain, that chastity is Scipio to purchase a loose and momentary a nobler quality, and as much to be valued in pleasure at the rate of making an honest man men as in women. The mighty Scipio, “who,' unhappy.' as Bluffe says in the comedy, 'was a pretty Indibilis's heart was too full to make bim fellow in bis time,' was of this mind, and is any answer ; but he threw himself at the feet celebrated for it by an author of good sense. of the general, and wept aloud. The captive When he lived, wit, and humour, and raillery, lady fell into the same posture, and they both and public success, were at as high a pitch at remained so, until the father burst into the Rome, as at present in England; yet, I believe, following words: 'O divine Scipio! the gods there was no man in those days thought that have given you more than human virtue. O general at all ridiculous in his behaviour in the glorious leader! O wondrous youth! does no following account of him.

that obliged virgin give you, while she prays to Scipio, at four-and-twenty years of age, bad the gods for your prosperity, and thinks you obtained a great victory; and a multitude of sent down from them, raptures, above all the prisoners, of each sex and all conditions, fell transports wbich you could have reaped from into his possession : among others, an agree the possession of her injured person ?' The able virgin in her early bloom and beauty. He temperate Scipio answered him without much had too sensible a spirit to see the most lovely emotion, and saying, 'Father, be a friend to of all objects without being moved with passion : Rome,' retired. An immense sum was offered besides which, there was no obligation of as her ransom; but he sent it to her husband, bonour or virtue to restrain his desires towards and, smiling, said, ' This is a trifle after what one wbo was his by the fortune of war. But I have given him already; but let Indibilis a noble indignation, and a sudden sorrow which know, that chastity at my age is a much more appeared in her countenance, when the con- difficult virtue to practise than generosity.' queror cast bis eyes upon her, raised his curio- I observed Cynthio was very much taken with sity to know her story. He was informed, my narrative ; but told me, this was a virtue that she was a lady of the highest condition in that would bear but a very inconsiderable figure that country, and contracted to Indibilis, a in our days.' However, I took the liberty to man of merit and quality. The generous Ro- say, that we ought not to lose our ideas of man soon placed himself in the condition of things, though we had debauched our true ibat unbappy man, who was to lose so charming relish in our practice ; for, after we have done a bride; and, though a youth, a bachelor, a laughing, solid virtue will keep its place in lover, and a conqueror, immediately resolved | men's opinions; and though custom made it to resign all the invitations of his passion, and not so scandalous as it ought to be, to ensnare the rights of bis power, to restore her to her innocent women, and triumph in the falsehood; destined husband. With this purpose he com- such actions, as we have here related, must be manded her parents and relations, as well as accounted true gallantry, and rise the higher her husband, to attend him at an appointed in our esteem, the farther they are removed time. When they met, and were waiting for the from our imitation.' general, my author frames to himself the different concern of an unbappy father, a de

Will's Coffee-house, August 22. spairing lover, and a tender mother, in the A man would be apt to think, in this laughseverai i ersons who were so related to the cap- ing town, that it were impossible a thing so

But, lur fear of injuring the delicate exploded as speaking hard words should be circumstances with an old translation, I shall I practised by any one that had ever seep good


his profound learning, wished he had been bred a scholar, for he did not take the scope of his discourse. This wise debate, of which we had much more, made me reflect upon the difference of their capacities, and wonder that there could be, as it were, a diversity in men's genius for nonsense; that one should bluster, while another crept, in absurdities. Martius moves like a blind man, lifting his legs higher than the ordinary way of stepping; and Comma, like one who is only short-sighted, picking his way when he should be marching on. Want of learning makes Martius a brisk entertaining fool, and gives him a full scope; but that which Comma has, and calls learning, makes him diffident, and curbs his natural misunder

Will Dactyle the epigrammatist, Jack Comma the grammarian, Nick Crosse-grain who writes anagrams, and myself, made a pretty company at a corner of this room; and entered very peaceably upon a subject fit enough for us, which was, the examination of the force of the particle For, when Martius joined us. He, being well known to us all, asked what we were upon? for he had a mind to consum-standing to the great loss of the men of raillery. This conversation confirmed me in the opinion, that learning usually does but improve in us what nature endowed us with. He that wants good sense is unhappy in having learning, for he has thereby only more ways of exposing himself; and he that has sense knows that learning is not knowledge, but rather the art of using it.


mate the happiness of the day, which had been spent among the stars of the first magnitude among the men of letters; and, therefore, to put a period to it as he had commenced it, he should be glad to be allowed to participate of the pleasure of our society.' I told him the subject. 'Faith, gentlemen,' said Martius, your subject is humble; and if you will give me leave to elevate the conversation, I should humbly offer, that you would enlarge your enquiries to the word For-as-much; for though I take it,' said he, to be but one word, yet the particle Much implying quantity, the particle As similitude, it will be greater, and more like ourselves, to treat of For-as- much.' Jack Comma is always serious, and answered: Martius, I must take the liberty to say, that you have fallen into all this error and profuse man-happy exile, without the common necessaries ner of speech by a certain hurry in your ima- of life. His czarish majesty treats his prisoners gination, for want of being more exact in the with great gallantry and distinction. Count knowledge of the parts of speech; and it is so Rhensfeildt has had particular marks of his with all men who have not well studied the majesty's esteem, for his merit and services to particle For. You have spoken For without his master; but count Piper, whom his majesty making inference, which is the great use of that believes author of the most violent counsels particle. There is no manner of force in your into which his prince entered, is disarmed, and observation of quantity and similitude in the entertained accordingly. That decisive battle syllables As and Much. But it is ever the was ended at nine in the morning; and all the fault of men of great wit to be incorrect; Swedish generals dined with the czar that which evil they run into by an indiscreet use of the word For. Consider all the books of should find Muscovy was not unacquainted very day, and received assurances, that they controversy which have been written, and with the laws of honour and humanity. will engage you will observe, that all the debate lies in this point, Whether they brought

St James's Coffee-house, August 22.
We have undoubted intelligence of the de-
feat of the king of Sweden; and that prince,
who for some years had hovered like an ap-
proaching tempest, and was looked up at by
all the nations of Europe, which seemed to
expect their fate according to the course he
should take, is now, in all probability, an un-

in For in a just manner; or forced it in for No. 59.] Thursday, August 25, 1709.
their own use, rather than as understanding
the use of the word itself? There is nothing
like familiar instances: you have heard the
story of the Irishman who reading, Money
for live hair, took a lodging, and expected to
be paid for living at that house. If this man
had known, For was in that place of a quite
different signification from the particle To, he
could not have fallen into the mistake of taking
Live for what the Latins call Vivere, or rather
Martius seemed at a loss; and, admiring

company; but, as if there were a standard in our minds as well as bodies, you see very many just where they were twenty years ago, and more they cannot, will not arrive at. Were it not thus, the noble Martius would not be the only man in England whom nobody can understand, though he talks more than any man else.

Quicquid agunt homines

-nostri est farrago libelll. Juv. Sat. i. 85, 86. Whate'er men do, or say, or think, or dream, Our motley paper seizes for its theme.


Whites Chocolate-house, August 24. ESOP has gained to himself an immortal renown for figuring the manners, desires, passions, and interests of men, by fables of beasts and birds. I shall in my future accounts of our modern heroes and wits, vulgarly called

Sharpers, imitate the method of that delightful moralist; and think I cannot represent those

Will's Coffre-house, August 24. wortbies more naturally than under the shadow The author of the ensuing letter, by bis of a pack of dogs; for this set of men are, like name, and the quotations he makes from the them, made up of Finders, Lurchers, and Set. ancients, seems a sort of spy from the old ters. Some search for the prey, others pursue, world, whom we moderns ought to be careful others take it ; and if it be worth it, they all of offending; therefore, I must be free, and come in at the death, and worry the carcass. own it a fair hit where he takes me, rather It would require a most exact knowledge of the than disoblige him. field and the barbours where the deer lie, to recount all the revolutions in the chace.

“SIR, But I am diverted from the train of my dis

“Having a peculiar humour of desiring to course of the fraternity about this town, by be somewhat the better or wiser for what I letters from Hampstead, which give me an ac- read, I am always uneasy when, in any procount, there is a late institution there, under found writer, for I read no others, I happen to the name of a Raffling-shop; which is, it seems, meet with what I cannot understand. Wheu secretly supported by a person who is a deep this falls out it is a great grievance to me that practitioner in the law, and out of tenderness I am not able to consult the author himself of conscience has, under the name of bis maid about his meaning, for commentators are a Sisly, set up this easier way of conveyancing sect that has little share in my esteem : your and alienating estates from one family to an elaborate writings have, among many others, other. He is so far from having an intelligence this advantage; that their author is still alive, with the rest of the fraternity, that all the and ready, as his extensive charity makes us humbler cheats, who appear there, are out-expect, to explain whatever may be found in faced by the partners in the bank, and driven them too sublime for vulgar understandings. off by the reflection of superior brass. This This, sir, makes me presume to ask you, how notice is given to all the silly faces that pass the Hampstead hero's character could be perthat way, that they may not be decoyed in by rectly new when the last letters came away, the soft allurement of a fine lady, who is the and yet sir John Suckling so well acquainted sign to the pageantry. At the same time, with it sixty years ago ? I hope, sir, you will signior Hawksly, who is the patron of the not take this amiss : 1 can assure you, I have bousehold, is desired to leave off this inter- a profound respect for you, which makes me loping trade, or admit, as he ought to do, the write this with the same disposition with which Knights of the Industry to their share in the Longinus bids us read Homer and Plato. When spoil. But this little matter is only by way of in reading, says he, any of those celebrated audigression. Therefore, to return to our wortbies. thors, we meet with a passage to wbich we can

The present race of terriers and hounds not well reconcile our reasons, we ought firmly would starve, were it not for the enchanted to believe, that were those great wits present to Acteon, who bas kept the whole pack for many answer for themselves, we should, to our wonsuccessions of hunting seasons. Actæon bas der, be convinced, that we only are guilty of long tracts of rich soil; but had the misfortune the mistakes that we before attributed to them. in his youth to fall under the power of sorcery, If you think fit to remove the scruple that now and has been ever since, some parts of the torments me, it will be an encouragement to year, a deer, and in some parts a man. While me to settle a frequent correspondence with he a man, such is the force of magic, he no you ; several things falling in my way, which sooner grows to such a bulk and fatness, but would not, perhaps, he altogether foreign to he is again turned into a deer, and hunted un- your purpose, and whereon your thoughts til he is lean ; upon which he returns to his would be very acceptable to your most humble human shape. Many arts have been tried, and servant, many resolutions taken by Actæon himself, to follow such methods as would break the en- I own this is clean, and Mr. Greenhat has chantment; but all leave hitherto proved in-convinced me that I have writ nonsense, yet effectual. I have therefore, by midnight watch- am I not at all offended at him. ings, and much care, found out, that there is no way to save him from the jaws of his Scimus, et banc veniam petimusqne damasqne vicissim. hounds, but to destroy the pack, which, by asirological prescience, I find I am destined to

I own th' indulgence— Sach I give and take. perform. For which end, I have sent out my familiar, to bring me a list of all the places This is the true art of raillery, when a man where they are barboured, that I may know turós another into ridicule, and shows at the where to sound my born, and bring them to- same time he is in good humour, and not urged gether, and take an account of their baunts on by malice against the person he raties. and their marks, against another opportunity. Obadiah Greenbat has hit this very well : for


Hor. Ars Poet. ver, xi.


to make an apology to Isaac Bickerstaff, an | late Partridge, who still denies his death. I
unknown student and horary historian, as well am informed, indeed, by several, that he walks ;
as astrologer, and with a grave face to say, he but I shall with all convenient speed lay him.
speaks of him by the same rules with which
he would treat Homer or Plato, is to place
him in company where he cannot expect to
make a figure; and make him flatter himself,
that it is only being named with them which
renders him most ridiculous.

St. James's Coffee-house, August 24.

We hear from Tournay, that on the night between the twenty-second and twenty-third, they went on with their works in the enemy's mines, and levelled the earth which was taken out of them. The next day, at eight in the morning, when the French observed we were relieving our trenches, they sprung a larger mine than any they had fired during the siege, which killed only four private centinels. The ensuing night, we had three men and two officers killed, as also, seven men wounded. Between the twenty-fourth and twenty-fifth, we repaired some works which the enemy had ruined. On the next day, some of the enemy's magazines blew up; and it is thought they were destroyed on purpose by some of their men, who are impatient of the hardships of the present service. There happened nothing remarkable for two or three days following. A deserter who came out of the citadel on the twenty-seventh, says the garrison brought to the utmost necessity; that their bread and water are both very bad: and that they were reduced to eat horse-flesh. The manner of fighting in this siege has discovered a gallantry in our men unknown to former ages; their meeting with adverse parties under ground, where every step is taken with apprehensions of being blown up with mines below them, or The Greenhats are a family with small voices crushed by the fall of the earth above them, and short arms, therefore they have power and all this acted in darkness, has something with none but their friends: they never call in it more terrible than ever is met with in any after those who run away from them, or pre-other part of a soldier's duty. However, this tend to take hold of you if you resist. But it is performed with great cheerfulness. In other has been remarkable, that all who have shunned parts of the war we have also good prospects; their company, or not listened to them, have count Thaun has taken Annecy, and the count fallen into the hands of such as have knocked de Merci marched into Franche Compte, while out their brains, or broken their bones. I have his electoral highness is much superior in looked over our pedigree upon the receipt of number to monsieur d'Harcourt; so that both this epistle, and fin the Greenhats are a-kin on the side of Savoy and Germany, we have reato the Staffs. They descend from Maudlin, son to expect, very suddenly, some great event. the left-handed wife of Nehemiah Bicker

staff, in the reign of Harry the Second. And it is remarkable, that they are all left-handed, and have always been very expert at single rapier. A man must be very much used to their play to know how to defend himself; for their posture is so different from that of the right-handed, that you run upon their swords if you push forward: and they are in with you, if you offer to fall back without keeping your guard.

I have not known, and I am now past my grand climacteric, being sixty-four years of age, according to my way of life; or, rather, if you will allow punning in an old gentleman, according to my way of pastime; I say, as old as I am, I have not been acquainted with many of the Greenhats. There is indeed one Zedekiah Greenhat, who is lucky also in his way. He has a very agreeable manner; for when he has a mind thoroughly to correct a man, he never takes from him any thing, but he allows him something for it; or else he blames him for things wherein he is not defective, as well as for matters wherein he is. This makes a weak man believe he is in jest in the whole. The other day he told Beau Prim, who is thought impotent, that his mistress had declared she would not have him, because he was a sloven, and had committed a rape.' The beau bit at the banter, and said very gravely, 'he thought to be clean was as much as was necessary; and that as to the rape, he wondered by what witchcraft that should come to her ears; but it had indeed cost him a hundred pou to hush the affair.'

There have been, also, letters lately sent to me, which relate to other people: among the rest, some whom I have heretofore declared to be so, are deceased. I must not, therefore, break through rules so far as to speak ill of the dead. This maxim extends to all but the


No. 60.] Suturday, August 27, 1709.

Quicquid agunt homines

-nostri est farrago libelli. Juv. Sat. i. 25, 86
Whate'er men do, or say, or think, or dream,
Our motley paper seizes for its theme.

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White's Chocolate-house, August 26.
To proceed regularly in the history of my
Worthies, I ought to give an account of what
has passed from day to day in this place; but a
young fellow of my acquaintance has so lately
been rescued out of the hands of the Knights
of the Industry, that I rather choose to relate
the manner of his escape from them, and the
uncommon way which was used to reclaim
him, than to go on in my intended diary.

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You are to know then, that Tom Wildair is a student of the Inner Temple, and has spent his time, since he left the university for that place, in the common diversions of men of fashion; that is to say, in whoring, drinking, and gaming. The two former vices he had from his father; but was led into the last by the conversation of a partizan of the Myrmidons who had chambers near him. His allowance from his father was a very plentiful one for a man of sense, but as scanty for a modern fine gentleman. His frequent losses had reduced him to so necessitous a condition, that his lodgings were always haunted by impatient creditors; and all his thoughts employed in contriving low methods to support himself in a way of life from which he knew not how to retreat, and in which he wanted means to proceed. There is never wanting some goodnatured person to send a man account of what he has no mind to hear; therefore many epistles were conveyed to the father of this extravagant, to inform bim of the company, the pleasures, the distresses, and entertainments, in which his son passed his time. The old fellow received these advices with all the pain of a parent, but frequently consulted his pillow, to know how to behave himself on such important occasions, as the welfare of his son, and the safety of Lis fortune. After many agitations of mind, he reflected, that necessity was the usual snare which made men fall into meanness, and that a liberal fortune generally made a liberal and honest mind; he resolved, therefore, to save him from his ruin, by giving him opportunities of tasting what it is to be at ease, and inclosed to him the following order upon sir Tristram Cash.


'Pray pay to Mr. Thomas Wildair, or order, the sum of one thousand pounds, and place it

to the account of


Tom was so astonished with the receipt of
this order, that though he knew it to be his
father's hand, and that he had always large
sums at sir Tristram's; yet a thousand pounds
was a trust of which his conduct had always
made him appear so little capable, that he
kept his note by him, until he writ to his fa-
ther the following letter:


'I have received an order under your hand for a thousand pounds, in words at length; and I think I could swear it is your own hand. I have looked it over and over twenty thousand times. There is in plain letters, T,h,o,u,s,a,n,d; and after it, the letters P,o,u,n,d,s. I have it still by me, and shall, I believe, continue readng it until 1 bear from you.'

The old gentleman took no manner of notice of the reeeipt of his letter; but sent him another order for three thousand pounds more. His amazement on this second letter was unspeakable. He immediately double-locked his door, and sat down carefully to reading and comparing both his orders. After he had read them until he was half mad, he walked six or seven turns in his chamber, then opens his door, then locks it again; and, to examine thoroughly this matter, he locks his door again, puts his table and chairs against it; then goes into his closet, and locking himself in, read his notes over again about nineteen times, which did but increase his astonishment. Soon after, he began to recollect many stories he had formerly heard of persons, who had been possessed with imaginations and appearances which had no foundation in nature, but had been taken with sudden madness in the midst of a seeming clear and untainted reason. This made him very gravely conclude he was out of his wits; and, with a design to compose himself, he immediately betakes him to his nightcap, with a resolution to sleep himself into his former poverty and senses. To bed therefore he goes at noon-day; but soon rose again, and resolved to visit sir Tristram upon this occasion. He did so, and dined with the knight, expecting he would mention some advice from his father about paying him money; but no such thing being said, 'Look you, sir Tristram,' said he, you are to know, that an af fair has happened, which-' 'Look you,' says Tristram, I know Mr. Wildair, you are going to desire me to advance; but the late call of the bauk, where I have not yet made my last payment, has obliged me- Tom interrupted him, by showing him the bill of a thousand pounds. When he had looked at it for a convenient time, and as often surveyed Tom's looks and countenance; Look you, Mr. Wildair, a thousand pounds--' Before he could proceed, he shows him the order for three thousand more. Sir Tristram examined the orders at the light, and finding at the writing the name, there was a certain stroke in one letter, which the father and he had agreed should be to such directions as he desired might be more imme diately honoured, he forthwith pays the money. The possession of four thousand pounds gave my young gentleman a new train of thoughts: he began to reflect upon his birth, the great expectations he was born to, and the unsuitable ways he had long pursued. Instead of that unthinking creature he was before, he is now provident, generous, and discreet. The father and son have an exact and regular correspondence, with mutual and unreserved confidence in each other. The son looks upon his father as the best tenant he could have in the country, and the father finds the son the most safe banker he could have in the city.



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