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SCENE 1.-Olivia's Garden.
Enter Viola, and Clown with a tabor.
AVE thee, friend, and thy music: dost thou live by thy tabor ?
Clo. No, sir, I live by the church.
Vio. Art thou a churchman? Clo. No such matter, sir; I do live by the church; for I do live at my house, and my house doth stand by the church.
Vio. So thou mayst say, the king lies by a beggar, if a beggar dwell near him; or the church stands by thy tabor, if thy tabor stand by the church.
Clo. You have said, sir.—To see this age ! A sentence is but a cheveril glove to a good wit : how quickly the wrong side may be turned outward !
Vio. Nay, that's certain; they that dally nicely with words may quickly make them wanton.
C!o. I would, therefore, my sister had had no
Vio. Why, man?
Clo. Why, sir, her name's a word; and to dally with that word might make my sister wanton : but, indeed, words are very rascals, since bonds disgraced them.
Vio. Thy reason, man?
Clo. Troth, sir, I can yield you none without words; and words are grown so false, I am loth to prove reason with them.
Vio. I warrant thou art a merry fellow, and carest for nothing.
Clo. Not so, sir, I do care for something : but in my conscience, sir, I do not care for you; if that be to care for nothing, sir, I would it would make you invisible.
Vio. Art not thou the lady Olivia's fool ?
Clo. No, indeed, sir; the lady Olivia has no folly: she will keep no fool, sir, till she be married; and fools as like husbands as pilchards are to herrings,—the usband's the bigger; I am, indeed, not her fool, but her corrupter of words.
Vio. I saw thee late at the count Orsino's.
Clo. Foolery, sir, does walk about the orb, like the sun;
it shines everywhere. I would be corry, sir, but the fool should be as oft with your master, as with my mistress : I think I saw your wisdom there.
Vio. Nay, an thou pass upon me, I'll no more with thee. Hold, there's expenses for thee.
Clo. Now Jove, in his next commodity of hair, send thee a beard !
Vio. By my troth, I'll tell thee, I am almost sick for one ;—[aside] though I wouid not have it grow on my chin. Is thy lady within ?
Clo. Would not a pair of these have bred, sir ?
Vio. Yes, being kept together, and put to use.
Clo. I would play lord Pandarus of Phrygia, sir, to bring a Cressida to this Troilus.
Vio. I understand you, sir ; 'tis well begged.
Clo. The matter, I hope, is not great, sir, begging but a beggar: Cressida was a beggar. My lady is within, sir. I will conster to them whence you come; who you are, and what you
would, are out of my welkin: I might say, element; but the word is over-worn. [Exit.
Vio. This fellow is wise enough to play the
And to do that well craves a kind of wit:
Sir To. Save you, gentleman.
Sir To. Will you encounter the house? my niece is desirous you should enter, if your trade ke to her.
Vio. I am bound to your niece, sir : I mean, she is the list of my voyage.
Sir To. Taste your legs, sir; put them to motion.
Vio. My legs do better understand me, sir, than I understand what you mean by bidding me taste my legs.
Sir To. I mean, to go, sir, to enter.
Vio. I will answer you with gait and entrance: --but we are prevented.
Enter OLIVIA and MARIA. Most excellent accomplished lady, the huarenz rain odours on you !
Sir And. That youth's a rare courtier! Rain odours ! well.
Vio. My matter hath no voice, lady, but to your own most pregnant and vouchsafed ear.
Sir And. Odours, pregnant, and vouchsafed :I'll get 'em all three all ready.
Oli. Let the garden door be shut, and leave me to my hearing.
[Exeunt Sir Toby, Sir ANDREW, and MARIA. Give me your hand, sir. Vio. My duty, madam, and most humble
world, Since lowly feigning was called compliment : You're servant to the count Orsino, youth. Vio. And he is yours, and his must needs be
yours ; Your servant's servant is your servant, madam. Oli. For him, I think not on him : for his
thoughts, Would they were blanks, rather than filled with
me ! Vio. Madam, I come to whet your gentle
thoughts On his behalf :Oli.
O, by your leave, I pray you ; I bade you never speak again of him : But, would you undertake another suit, I had rather hear you to solicit that, Than music from the spheres. Vio.
Dear lady,– Oli. Give me leave, beseech you : I did send,
After the last enchantment you did here,
Vio. I pity you.
That's a degree to love.
Then westward-ho! Grace, and good disposition, 'tend your ladyship; You'll nothing, madam, to my lord by me?
Oli. Stay : I pr’ythee tell me, what thou think'st of me. Vio. That you do think you are not what you
are. Oli. If I think
I think the same of you.