tition seemed to produce fresh encou ragement, mixed with determination, if he might, to cast his perishing soul on the Lord Jesus Christ for salvation.' He had not been taught, nor was he then aware, that any, and every sinner, was warranted and enjoined to do so. He supposed, on the contrary, that some prior gracious qualification must entitle him to this privilege. He could not flatter himself that he possessed any such qualification, so that his resolution seemed like that of Esther, iv. 16. contrary law. However it was, he determined to cast himself on Christ, faintly hoplog that he might save his soul, and if not, that he could be but lost. In such agitations he continued above an hour, weeping, and making supplications for mercy.

2

cedent to faith-that repentance, however acceptable to God, is neither a re commendation to his mercy, nor the sense of this anencouragement to hope in him-that nothing in man, not even faith itself, is the ground of acceptance with God-the ground of recommendation and encouragement being one and the same, viz. the atonement of Christ finished on the Cross. He was much instructed and warned, confirmed and comforted at this time by a poor man, a thrasher employed in his father's barn, with whom he prayed and conversed, and to whom he opened all his mind; and as he in this way stopped his work, he made up for it by thrashing for him sometimes an hour or two together. In March 1770, he for the first time witnessed a baptizing; for it should seem, neither his parents nor the Church were over anxious respecting the practices by which they were distinguished from other Christians. About a month after, he was himself baptized on the profession of repentance and faith, being then two months more than 16 years of age, and was afterwards added to the church. He endured much reviling on account of being dipped, but he never changed his nind respecting it, and bestowed only silent pity and prayers in return for contempt.

The attachment between him and the church was now warm and mutual. The pastor, though his senior by four and twenty years, became his bosom

He now deserted his companions, avoided and forsook scenes of temptation. To those objects, a glance at which would a short time before have 'set his soul In flame, he now became dead, and the first desire of his heart was devotion to his Lord and Saviour. He was ever solicitous to mention that the delay and the imperfection of the rest which his troubled soul obtained at this time were occasioned by his suppos ing that he was hot warranted to come to Christ, without the consciousness of possessing some previous recommendations. If he had been taught or had known the true grace of God as clearly as it is revealed, and as he was after-friend. He was a recluse man, loved wards instructed in it, he conceived he 'should not so long have been kept in darkness, despondency, and distance from God. I am inclined to be a little particular here, because his sentiments have certainly been misapprehended upon this subject. He did indeed believe that regeneration and repentance were in the order of nature previous to faith in Christ. Whether this sentiment be or be not founded on the Scriptures is not now the enquiry; nor whether it implies that conscious penitence is requisite to encourage a Sinner to come unto God.Most assuredly it did not imply this in his mind. It was his fixed and uniform persuasion from which he never swerv'd, but always zealously inculcated and maintained that no person can, or ought to derive any relief to his conscience from the distress of his mind onaccount of sin; nor any encouragement to approach unto God from feelings within him, or from any experience or disposition ante

reading, and had a reflecting mind. His conversation was thus peculiarly interesting to young Fuller, whose powers were then beginning to evolve. Great were the enjoyments of which he then partook. A case, however, not long after occurred, which mixed them with sorrow. He happened to be the first who knew of an offence having been committed by one of the members; and went to him in consequence, according to the rule of our Lord, Matth. xviii. 15-18. to admonish him respecting his sin. The excuses he alledged, and the steps which followed, brought it before the Church. In the course of the discipline, a discussion took place of various doctrines respecting the power of fallen man to obey God, and to keep himself from sin, with other relative sentiments. Great disagreement arose out of this, and many disputes, which eventually ended in the division of the Church, the resignation of the pastor, and his removal elsewhere.

was

These contentions, which lasted nearly a whole year, Mr. Fuller used to call, the wormwood and gall of his youth." Yet to these, under God, he ascribed almost all his future views, and the leading events of his life. If he judged, wrote to any good purpose, it was then (he would say,)" he learned to do so by bitter experience." Nothing now looked for, but the dissolution of the Church. For several weeks, he went to another place. Those members, how ever, who kept together, appointed a day for fasting and prayer, and invited all who were scattered to unite in this. He accepted the invation, and from that time continued with them. One of the deacons, who had considerable acquaintance with the Scriptures, was requested to spend some part of every meeting in reading and expounding the Word, and this, with singing and prayer by the Church, filled up the worship.

hints from any part of the word of God ?" Conscious of what had been passing through his mind the day before, as he was absent who usually addressed them, he judged that it might be his duty to try; and, therefore, making no excuses, which he thought would be mere affectation, (the object of his disgust constitutionally), he rose and spoke for about half an hour with some degree of freedom. A few weeks after he again attempted the same, in consequence of repeated requests; but finding little or no freedom, he was discouraged; and though often requested, declined for nearly a year.In 1773, the usual speaker being absent from affliction, he was induced to renew the attempt, and spoke from these words of our Lord, Mat. xviii. 1, "The son of man is come to seek and to save that which is lost.". On this occasion, he felt more liberty than ever, and several persons were much impressed with the disAbout the end of 1771, his mind was course. From this period, the church much employed in ruminating on various seemed to entertain thoughts of his enpassages of Scripture. Thoughts flowed gaging in the ministry; and occasionally upon him respecting these; and though he himself felt a desire towards it, checkhe had not the most distant idea of the ed however by many discouragements. Ministry, he felt as if he could have But against these also other arguments preached on things which appeared to and influences prevailed; so that durhim so very affecting. A proposition ing the course of that year, his friend was soon after this made to him to go the Deacon and he, alternately addressed to a trade, to which he had been for- the Church. His discourses were blessmerly inclined; and his mother, judged to several young persons, who aftering the gospel to be gone from the place of their residence, procured a situation for him where he might hear it every Lord's day. The religious connections, however, into which he had now entered, imperfect as were the advantages attending them, he knew not how to leave. Feeling compassion for their desolate circumstances, and a wish, like Lot's, to see what would become of the city, he determined to remain where he was.— On the morning of the Lord's day after this, he received a message from the Deacon who usually conducted their worship, saying, that he had got a hurt, and could not attend the meeting; and the messenger added that he had said, "The Lord be present with you." He wondered what this could mean. He had never engaged in any public service but prayer; had never expounded the Scriptures, nor attempted any such thing. On coming to the meeting, after singing, a brother went to prayer; and another of the Deacons said to him, "Brother. Andrew, will you read, and drop a few

wards joined them. In January, 1774, one of the members died; and it was requested, if not thought disorderly, that he should preach a Funeral Sermon. By this time, the Church being all nearly of one mind, appointed a previous day for fasting and prayer; and gave him an unanimous call to be their Pastor on the 26th of that month.

Often did he reflect on what he after-wards saw his own slender qualifications at that time for the office, and, when he knew the want and the worth of leisure, he deeply regretted how little he had improved what he then possessed. The Church had but little knowledge, and no one suggested to him his deficiencies. Happy for those young preachers and ministers who are otherwise dealt with—and happy are those who know in what spirit to receive the admonitions of friendship and brotherly love, or even remarks which may seem indelicate and severe. C. S.

(To be concluded in our next. )

E242

V181T OF MESS. CAMPBELL, FLETCHER, SLATTERY, AND WAUGH, TO SCOTLAND.

THE

CHRISTIAN HERALD.

July 19, 1815.

MEMOIR OF THE REV. THOMAS ENGLISH.

(Continued from page 209.)

R. ENGLISH kept a journal of the principal occurren ces of the last twenty-five years of his life, and of the most remarkable parts of his Christian experience. In the early part of this diary, and not long after his second marriage, he observes, "Lord what a heart is mine, to require so many trials! Yet all I fear and all I feel seems too little to answer the end, which is to take away my sin. I have a distressed house, and a hard heart. How am I fallen from God! I am tried in body, mind and family; yet I trust the Lord will be with me. My people feel for me in my trials, and show great sympathy and affection, and manifest their concern by suitable conduct. Thus the Lord stays his rough wind in the day of his East wind. If he puts bitters into one cup, he puts sweets into another."

This

He soon after observes, " Man is born to trouble. I daily feel; but I am not tried equal to my sins. I have many mercies to alleviate my crosses. May I at the last be able to say, The angel of the covenant has redeemed me from all evil from the evil of sin-from the curses of a violated law; the evils attendant on the frowns and smiles of the world and the church; the evils of wealth and of poverty; of health and afflictions; of death and hell! Precious salvation! My soul is in safe hands. My Saviour is able to save unto the very uttermost, all that come unto God by him. But I must be saved as by fire. I must again go into the furnace: what VOL. II. No. 6. 2 H

gold of gracious principles I possess, is still mixed with dross, and the gold must be refined. I am again tried in my family -my dear Mary is very ill. I do not feel my mind reconciled to what I often fear. Death would be her gain, but my loss; a loss to which I feel it hard to be resigned. Lord, conquer my will and make it yield to all thy will, whether for life or for death! Self-will is a source of misery to ourselves, and to our connections. I fear I have a severe trial at hand; but, Lord, thy will cannot be wrong, nor can it be resisted. Nothing but good can come from thee, who art the fountain of goodness. All the sufferings of thy people must terminate in their good; for whom thou didst foreknow, thou didst predestinate to be conformed to the image of thy son. The means must be good which accomplish so noble an end.” Mary was spared for a short time to the hopes of the fond parent, but one of his sons was seized with affliction. On this occasion Mr. English writes, "The Lord appears to be about to take my dear William. Lord, he is thine by creation, preservation, redemption and dedication-I wish to resign him to thee; I doubt not of thy mercy towards himgraciously sanctify the rod to us. I feel great struggles in giving him up, but his pains appear to be so acute, that his death begins to be looked for rather as an object of desire than of fear." Again, he writes, "We have now taken leave of our son, by solemn surrender of him unto God in prayer, fully persuaded that the dissolution of these earthly ties, will ultimately promote a union with the Father of spirits. We felt our minds resigned, and were contented that the Lord's win should be done." The next morning the child was released from its agonies, and his father writes, "The Lord gaveand the Lord hath taken away, blessed be the name of the Lord." On the fourth day from this he says, “Our dear little girl is very ill, we are called to resign her also; Lord help us to do it in a right frame." The next day he observes, "This evening, Mr. Rowland Hill buried my dear boy, and just before his interment, news came of the death of my little girl. Lord, all I am and all I have is thine! Mr. Hill preached from these words, I die daily.' These are deaths even to survivors, but none but parents know what parents feel." At another time he says, "What changes are we perpetually exposed to! If a state of affliction is a mark of divine favour, I certainly have that; but, on this I would place no dependence, for this of itself is no evidence of a safe or gracious state. My dear child Eliza is now under affliction. Our fears are alarmed-mine are so, not only on account of the unfavourable symptoms of her complaint, but from a conviction, that by our conduct we tempt the Lord to take our