By whose miraculous affistance
You gain a profpect two fields diftance.
And now from Hyde Park Corner come
The Gods of Athens and of Rome:
Here squabby Cupids take their places,
With Venus and the clumfy Graces;
Apollo there, with aim fo clever,
Stretches his leaden bow for ever;

And there, without the power to fls, Stands fix'd a tip-toe Mercury.

The Villa, thus compleatly grac'd, All own, that Thrifty has a Tate: And Madam's female friends and coufins, With Common-councilmen by dozens, Flock every Sunday to the Seat, To fiare about them, and to eat.

MART.

E, whofe bufinefs it is to write above a quarter of an hour together on any one fubject, are not expected to enter into philofophical difquifitions, or engage in abstract fpeculations: but it is fuppofed to be our principal aim to amufe and inftruct the reader, by a lively representation of what paffes round about him. Thus, like thofe painters who delineate the fcenes of familiar life, we fometimes give a sketch of a Marriage à-la-mode, fometimes draw the outlines of a Modern Midnight Conversation, at another time paint the comical diftreffes of itinerant Tragedians in a barn, and at another give a full draught of the Rake or Harlot's Progrefs. Some times we divert the public by exhibiting fingle portraits; and when we meet with a fubject, where the features are ftrongly marked by nature, and there is fomething peculiarly characteristic in the whole manner, we employ ourselves in drawing the piece at full length. In a word, we confider all mankind as fitting for their pictures, and endeavour to work up our pieces with lively traits, and embelish them with beautiful colouring; and though perhaps they are not always highly finished, yet they feldom fail of pleafing fome few, at leaft, of the vast multitude of Critics and Connoiffeurs, if we are so happy as to hit off a striking likeness.

There is perhaps no knowledge more requifite, and certainly none at prefent more ardently fought after, than the Knowledge of the World. In this fcience we are more particularly expected to be adepts, as well as to initiate, or at least improve our readers in it. And though

They who

Men may be read, as well as books, too much; and it is to be lamented, that many, who have only confulted the volume of life as it lay open before them, have rather become worfe, than better, by their ftudies. have lived wholly in the world, without regarding the comments on it, are generally tainted with all it's vices; to which the gathering part of their inftructions from books would perhaps have proved an antidote. There, indeed, though they would have seen the faults and foibles of mankind fairly reprefented, yet vice would appear in an odious, and virtue in an amiable, light: but thofe, who unwarned go abroad into the world, are often dazzied by the fplendour with which wealth gilds vice and infany; and, being accustomed to fee bare-foot honesty treated with fcorn, are themselves induced to confider it as contemptible. For this reafon, I am a good deal offended at the ingenious contrivance of our modern novelifts and writers of comedy, who often glofs over a villainous character with the fame tafe varnish that lackers fo many coundrels in real life; and while they are exhibiting a fellow who debauches your daughter, or lies with your wife, reprefent him as an agreeable creature, a mof gallantry, and a fine gentleman.

The world, even the givelt part of it, may be painted like itself, an vet become a fon of inftruétion. The pieces of Hogarth (to recur to the alultration I first made ufe of) are techful delineations of certain fcenes o lie, and yet vice and folly always app.ar

oulous

odious and contemptible. I could wish it were poffible to learn the Knowledge of the World, without being hackneyed in the ways of men:' but as that is impracticable, it is fill our duty fo to live in it, as to avoid being corrupted by our intercourfe with mankind. We fhould endeavour to guard against fraud, without becoming ourfeives deceitful; and to fee every fpecies of vice and folly practifed round about us, without growing knaves and fools. The villainy of others is but a poor excufe for the loss of our own integrity: and though, indeed, if I am attacked on Hounflow Heath, I may lawfully kill the highwayman in my own defence; yet I fhould be very defervedly brought to the gallows, if I took a purfe from the next perfon I met, becaufe I had been robbed myself.

The Knowledge of the World, as it is generally ufed and understood, confifts not fo much in a due reflection on it's vices and follies, as in the practice of them; and thofe who confider themfelves as beft acquainted with it, are ei ther the dupes of fashion, or flaves of intereft. It is also supposed to lie within the narrow compass of every man's owr fphere of life, and receives a different interpretation in different ftations. Thus,

for inftance, the man of fashion feeks it no where but in the polite circle of the beau monde, while the man of business looks no farther for it than the Alley. I fhall beg leave to illuftrate this, by concluding my paper with a defcription of two characters; each of whom, though diametrically oppofite to the other, has acquired a thorough Knowledge of the World.

Sir Harry Flah had the good luck to be born before his brother Richard: confequently, the heir to the estate was bred a gentleman, and the other conden ned to plod in the dull drudgery of bufinefs. The merchant was fent to learn accompts at the Academy upon Tower Hill, and the baronet had the finishing of his education in France. Sir Harry is now a most accomplished fine gentleman, is an excellent judge of fashions, and can calculate the odds at any game, as readily as Hoyle or Demoivre: the Alderman is the most knowing man upon 'Change, and underlands the rife and fall of Stocks better than any Jew. Both of them know the world; but with this difference, that one by his confummate knowledge has run out a large eftate, while the other has raifed a plumb by it,

SIR,

WH

TO MR. TOWN.

HAT cloying meat is love, when matrimony is the fauce to it!' fays Sir John Brute. But if he had been married to fuch an Epicurean confort as I am joined with, thofe expreffions, that favour of the kitchen, would have been real, inftead of metaphorical. We live in a land really flowing with milk and honey, and keep an houfe of entertainment for all comers and goers. We hardly ever fit down to table lefs in number than twenty or thirty, and very often to above double that number of difhes. In fhort, Sir, fo much feating has given me a furfeit.

TER.

There are, I see, scattered up and down your papers, feveral accounts of the petty diftreffes and domestic concerns of private families. As you have liftened to many complaints from husbands, I flatter myself, you will not refufe your attention to the humble remonstrance of a wife being affured, that my only reafon for thus ferving up my dear lord as a new dish to gratify the public taste, is to check (if poffible) his violent paffion for giving his friends entertainments of another kind, which, if indulged much longer, mult cat us out of house and home.

The magnificent feasts of Timon of Athens, or the ftories of old English Hofpitality, would give you but a faint

The concomitant charges of the cellar, you will imagine, are no lefs extravagant; and, indeed, it is not enough, that we abound in the best French and Italian wines, (which, by the bye, are purchased on the fpot at an extraordinary price) but we must have feveral other kinds of the highest value, and confequently of the most delicious flavour; and though but a taste of each has been fipped round by the comp. y, the fame bottles muft never be brought a fecond time upon the table, but are fecured as perquifites by the butler, who fells them to the merchant, who fells them back again to my lord. Befides thefe, his lordship has lately been at an immenfe charge in raifing a Pinery, in order to try the experiment of making Cyder of Pine-apples; which he hopes to do at little more than treble the expence of Champagne. To this article I might alfo add the charge of his Ice-houses: for although these are stored with an homecommodity, originally of no value; yet I may venture to fay, that every drop of water comes as dear to us, as the most coftly of our wines.

As all our liquors, I have told you, are of foreign growth, and all our dishes diftinguished by foreign titles, you will readily conceive, that our houfhold is chiefly compofed of foreigners. The Maitre d bôtel is a Frenchman: the

The

butler out of livery, and his two underbutlers, are Frenchinen: the clerk of the kitchen is a Frenchman: and Monfieur Fricando, the head-cook, to be fure is a Frenchman. This gentleman never foils his fingers in touching the leaft bit of any thing; but gives his orders (like a general) to four fubalterns, who are likewife Frenchmen. baker, the confectioner, the very scul lions, and even the fellow that looks after the poultry, are, all of them, Frenchmen. Thefe, you may be fure, are maintained at very high salaries : and though Monfieur Fricando had the pay of a captain in a marching regiment, my lord was forced to double his wages at the beginning of the war, and allow him the free exercife of his religion, to prevent his leaving the kingdom.

I am forry to add, that this pride of keeping a table has vifibly impaired my lord's fortunes; and this very fummer he has been obliged to fell all the timber on his eftate, as I may fay, to keep up his kitchen fire. The only fatisfaction, which he can poffibly reap from all this expence, is the vanity of having it faid, that nobody treats fo elegantly as his lordship; and now and then perhaps reading in the news-papers, that such a day the right honourable grand entertainment at his house ia at which were prefent the principal officers of ftate and foreign miniiters. I am, Sir, your humble fervant, &c.

gave a

IN

Juv.

N the comedy of the Frenchman in London, which we are told was acted at Paris with universal applause for several nights together, there is a character, of a rough Englishman, who is reprefented as quite unfkilled in the graces of converfation; and his dialogue confifts almost entirely of a repetition of the common falutation of How do you do? How do you do?' Our nation has, indeed, been generally suppof ed to be of a fullen and uncommunicative difpofition; while, on the other

de chambre. We may frequently fee a couple of French barbers accotting each other in the street, and paying their Compliments with the fame volubility of fpeech, the fame grimace and action, as two courtiers on the Thuilleries.

I shall not attempt to lay down any particular rules for converfation, but rather point out fuch faults in difcourfe and behaviour, as render the company of half mankind rather tedious than amufing. It is in vain, indeed, to look for converfation, where we might expect to find it in the greatest perfection, among perfons of fashion: there it is almolt annihilated by univerfal cardplaying; infomuch that I have heard it given as a reafon, why it is impothble for our prefent writers to fucceed in the dialogue of genteel comedy, that our people of quality scarce ever meet but to game. All their difcourfe turns upon the odd trick and the four honours: and it is no lefs a maxim with the votaries of Whift than with thofe of Bacchus, that talking fpoils company.

Every one endeavours to make himfelf as agreeable to fociety as he can ; but it often happens, that thofe, who moft aim at thining in converfation, overfhoot-the mark. Though a man fucceeds, he should not (as is frequently the cafe) engrofs the whole talk to him. felf; for that deftroys the very effence of converfation, which is talking together. We should try to keep up convertation like a ball banded to and fro from one to the other, rather than feize it all to ourfelves, and drive it before us like a foot-ball. We fhould likewife be cautious to adapt the matter of our difcourfe to our company; and not talk Greek before ladies, or of the latt new furbelow to a meeting of country juttices.

But nothing throws a more ridiculous air over our whole converfation, than certain peculiarities eafily acquired, but very difficultly conquered and dif carded. In order to difplay thefe abfurdities in a truer light, it is my prefent purpose to enumerate fuch of them as are most commonly to be met with; and first to take notice of thofe buffoons in fociety, the Attitudinarians and Faceakers. Thefe accompany every word with a peculiar grimace or gefture: they affent with a fhrug, and contrad & with a twisting of the neck; are angry with a wry mouth, and pleafed in a caper or

a minuet step. They may be confidered as fpeaking Harlequins; and their rules of eloquence are taken from the pofture-matter. Thefe fhould be condemned to converfe only in dumb fhew with their own perfon in the lookingglass; as well as the Smirkers and Smilers, who fo prettily fet off their faces, together with their words, by a je-nefai quoi hetween a grin and a dimple. With thefe we may likewife rank the affected tribe of Mimics, who are conftantly taking off the peculiar tone of voice or gefture of their acquaintance: though they are fuch wretched imitators, that (like bad painters) they are frequently forced to write the name under the picture, before we can discover any

likenefs.

Next to thefe, whofe elocution is abforbed in action, and who converse chiefly with their arms and legs, we may confider the profeffed fpeakers. And firft, the Emphatical; who fque ze, and prefs, and ram down every fyllable with exceffive vehemence and energy. These orators are remarkable for their diftinct elocution and force of expreffion: they dwell on the important particles of and the, and the fignificant conjunctive and; which they feem to hawk up, with much difficulty, out of their own throats, and to cram them, with no lefs pain, into the ears of their auditors. These thould be fuffered only to fyringe (as it were) the ears of a deaf man, through an hearing trumpet: though I mult confefs, that I am equally offended with the Whisperers or Low Speakers, who seem to fancy all their acquaintance deaf, and come up fo clofe to you, that they may be faid to meature nofes with you, and frequently overcome you with the exhalations of a powerful breath. I would have thefe oracular gentry obliged to talk at a diftance through a fpeakingtrumpet, or apply their lips to the walls of a whifpering gallery. The Wits, who will not condescend to utter any thing but a bon mot, and the Whistlers or Tune-hummers, who never articulate at all, may be joined very agreeably together in concert : and to these tinkling cymbals I would alfo add the foundingbrafs; the Bawler who inquires after your health with the bellowing of a town-crier.

The Tatlers, whofe pliable pipes are admirably adapted to the foft parts of converfation, and fweetly prattling

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