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Enter Dromio of Syracuse. Dro. S. Master, here's the gold you sent me for: What, have you got the picture of old Adam new apparell d 33 Ant. S. What gold is this? what Adam dost thou
mean? Dro. S. Not that Adam, that kept the paradise, but that Adam, that keeps the prison : he that goes in the calf's-skin that was kill'd for the prodigal; he that came behind you, sir, like an evil angel, and bid you forsake your liberty.
Ant. S. I understand thee not.
Dro. S. No; why, 'tis a plain case: he that went like a base-viol, in a case of leather; the man, sir, that, when gentlemen are tired, gives them a fob, and 'rests them; he, sir, that takes pity on decayed men, and gives 'em suits of durance; he that sets up his rest to do more exploits with his mace, than a morris-pike 34
Ant. S. What! thou mean'st an officer?
Dro. S. Ay, sir, the sergeant of the band; he, that brings any man to answer it, that breaks his band; one that thinks a man always going to bed, and says, God give you good rest.
Ant. S. Well, sir, there rest in your foolery. Is there any ship puts forth to-night? may we be gone?
Dro. S. Why, sir, I brought you word an hour since, that the bark Expedition put forth to-night? and then were you hindered by the sergeant, to tarry
for the hoy, Delay: Here are the angels that you sent for, to deliver you.
Ant. S. The fellow is distract, and so am I;
Enter a Courtezan. Court. Well met, well met, master Antipholus. I see, sir, you have found the goldsmith now; Is that the chain, you promis'd me to-day! Ant. S. Satan, avoid! I charge thee tempt me
not! Dro. S. Master, is this mistress Satan? Ant. S. It is the devil.
Dro. S. Nay, she is worse, she is the devil's dam; and here she comes in the habit of a light wench; and thereof comes, that the wenches say, God damn me, that's as much as to say, God make me a light wench. It is written, they appear to men like angels of light: light is an effect of fire, and fire will burn; ergo, light wenches will burn; Come not near her. Cour. Your man and you are marvellous merry,
sir. Will you go with me? We'll mend our dinner here.
Dro. S. Master, if you do expect spoon-meat, or bespeak a long spoon.
Ant. S. Why, Dromio?
Dro. S. Marry, he must have a long spoon, that must eat with the devil.
Ant. S. Avoid then, fiend! what tell'st thou me
of supping? Thou art, as you are all, a sorceress: I conjure thee to leave me, and be gone. Cour. Give me the ring of mine you had at
dinner, Or, for my diamond, the chain you promis'd; And I'll be gone, sir, and not trouble you. Dro. S. Some devils ask but the paring of one's
nail, A rush, a hair, a drop of blood, a pin, A nut, a cherry-stone: but she, more covetous, Would have a chain. Master, be wise; and if you give it her, The devil will shake her chain, and fright us with it.
Cour. I pray you, sir, my ring, or else the chain; I hope, you do not mean to cheat me so.
Ant. S. Avaunt, thou witch! Come, Dromio, let
Dro. S. Fly pride, says the peacock: Mistress,
know. [Exeunt Ant, and Dro. Cour. Now, out of doubt, Antipholus is mad, Else would he never so demean himself: A ring he hath of mine worth forty ducats, And for the same he promis’d me a chain! Both
one, and other, he denies me now. The reason that I gather he is mad, (Besides this present instance of his rage,) Is a mad tale, he told to-day at dinner, Of his own doors being shut against his entrance,
Belike, his wife, acquainted with his fits,
shut the doors against his way.
Enter AntiPHOLUS of Ephesus, and an Officer.
Ant. E. Fear me not, man, I will not break away; I'll give thee, ere I leave thee, so much money To warrant thee, as I am 'rested for. My wife is in a wayward mood to-day: And will not lightly trust the messenger, That I should be attach'd in Ephesus: I tell you, 'twill sound harshly in her ears.
Enter Drom10 of Ephesus with a rope's end. Here comes my man; I think, he brings the money. How now, sir? have you that I sent you for? Dro. E. Here's that, I warrant you, will
them all. Ant. E. But where's the money? Dro. E. Why, sir, I gave the money for the rope. Ant. E. Five hundred ducats, villain, for a rope ? Dro. E. I'll serve you, sir, five hundred at the rate.
Ant. E. To what end did I bid thee hie thee
home? Dro. E. To a rope's end, sir; and to that end am I return'd. Ant. E. And to that end, sir, I will welcome you.
[beating him. Of. Good sir, be patient.
Dro. E. Nay, 'tis for me to be patient; I am in adversity.
Of Good now, hold thy tongue.
Dro. E. Nay, rather persuade him to hold his hands.
Ant. E. Thou whoreson, senseless villain!
Dro. E. I would I were senseless, sir, that I might not feel your blows.
Ant. E. Thou art sensible in nothing but blows, and so is an ass.
Dro. E. I am an ass, indeed; you may prove it by my long ears. I have sery'd him from the hour of my nativity to this instant, and have nothing at his hands for my service, but blows: when I am cold, he heats me with beating: when I am warm, he cools me with beating: I am waked with it, when I sleep; raised with it, when I sit; driven out of doors with it, when I go from home; welcom'd home with it, when I return: nay, I bear it on my shoulders, as a beggar wont her brat; and, I think, when he hath lamed me, I shall beg with it from door to door.