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hardships talked of, by some philanthropic individuals, to those who, having lost their legs, are dependant on their dogs for their means of locomotion, he maintained that, if we consider the question, it must be evident to any sensible person that those who possess no legs can have no right to move about; besides, added he, we are properly the companions, not the slaves of man.

A small voice was now heard to proceed from one corner of the assembly, which for some time we were unable to trace to any visible cause. At length, after diligent search, a pair of silvery eyes were descried peering out of a mottled head supported by very short legs of a semicircular construction, and in conjunction with a back of most extensive longitude. He gave us to understand that he was descended from a long line of ancestors, who, for many generations, had held posts of the very highest consequence; and, calculating upon the absolute necessity for their services, had assumed considerable importance; but since the introduction of machinery in the shape of "smoke-jacks," their services have been dispensed with; which circumstance at the time had been a source of joy, as they expected to be maintained with their wonted comforts, but without the work; but, alas! they had since discovered, when too late, that if they had no labour to perform, neither were they admitted to the same privileges.

I will not, however, trespass upon your pages with any more detailed account of our proceedings; suffice it to say that various other grievances were adduced by different individuals, complaining of certain hardships suffered in their own persons. One railed against the enormity of employing dogs for the purpose of initiating monkeys in the science of equitation; another bewailed his unhappy fate, which condemned him to the monotonous occupation of leading a blind man day after day through the same streets; while a third exerted all his eloquence in censure of dressing up dogs, and requiring them to dance upon their hind legs. In short, there were few but considered they had some just cause for complaint; and the meeting ended in the formation of a society, to be called "The Anti-Canine Operative League," for the purpose of making use of all constitutional measures to obtain a just protection to our species; and though nothing could cause us greater sorrow than to be driven to the adoption of such measures as may not be in strict accordance with moderation, still, should our claims continue to be disregarded, it is impossible to answer for the consequences which may ensue; but whether we may have recourse to agitation, or the system of lecturers, remains undecided.

Suffer me, however, to conclude with a friendly hint to yourself and readers (as I still retain a friendly feeling towards sportsmen), that "every dog has his day;" and that, ere very many weeks, ours will have arrived, when, should all redress still continue to be denied us, we may find ourselves under the painful necessity of pursuing active measures in our own defence, and endeavouring to frighten our tyrants into what humanity has not sufficient influence over them to prompt. Your most obdt. servant, "RADICAL."

A BILL OF FARE.

FOR ALL THE YEAR AND ALL THE WORLD.

BY AN OXONIAN.

Old England's stout cheer is beef and beer,
Soup-meagre is Gallia's boast;

And a mealy tatur with a drop of cratur
In Ireland joys a host.

All Wales we may please with toasted cheese,
And "muckle" your right true Scot
With the flavour fine (rather his than mine)
Of hard-kenn'd haggis hot.

The Spaniard afar on a good cigar

In fancy forms a feast,

While the Cossack as spoil will swill train-oil-
The nasty, greasy beast!

With taste more refined how often has dined
On a song Italia's son !

And the dram drained soon, sans, alas! spittoon,
Is to Yankee etarnal fun.

From the high seasoned curry not one will hurry 'Neath India's burning clime,

For the smack of Cayenne to many a man
Has a savour nigh the sublime.

Like the macaroni to lout Lazarone,

Of Naples, that big blackguard

Who lies on his back, and takes his "wack"
At two or three cents a yard.

Long before "heavy wet" the mild sherbet
With the sultan favour gains,

Though in want of "a rise" he opium tries,
To banish e'en regal pains;

While the African, void of all that's enjoyed-
The savage, but not the free-

Amidst riches and gold just life can hold

From the bread or butter tree.

"Nation" hard too the rations of Swedish nations (We are flying from hot to cold),

Where, all steam and froth, nice nag's-head broth

For the public good is sold.

At such very coarse fare don't

A people of higher taste,

your

German stare!

Whose doubtful treat is prime sausage-meat

Their recipe "nothing waste."

We look round again, and the world's citizen
Claims of us a knife and fork

For the wandering Jew, who nought will eschew
But a delicate piece of pork.

Let a hint here suffice to the nastily nice,
As we hurry on to a close,

At "the kill and eat" knight, who after a fight
Can fancy his friends and foes.

May each one but the last be guiltless of fast
On the opening of the year;

May the thought or the wish but precede each dish.
Put down in our Bill of Fare!

May each palace and cot, each long range and pot,
Of feasting pour out its load,

From city-king's spread to the poet who's fed
On beef, id est, à-la-mode!

LITERATURE..

Woods.

In

ON LANDED PROPERTY, AND THE ECONOMY OF ESTATES. By David Low, Esq., F.R.S.E., &c., &c., &c. London: Longman, Brown, Green, and Longmans, 1844. The author of this volume is already well and favourably known to all those who are interested in the landed statistics of Great Britain by his valuable additions to her library of domestic natural history, and rural affairs in general. The present work will greatly add to his fame. It is full of practical details, occupying nearly seven hundred pages, comprised under eleven heads, namely-Relations between Landlord and TenantValue and Expenses of an Estate, and the Laying Out of Farms-The Lease-Buildings of the Farm-Enclosures-Drains-Watered Meadows-Embankments-Roads-Minerals-and these days, when the civil war between the land and the loom is carried on with an unhappy bitterness, anything which may tend to place the actual condition of our national resources in a true point of view must be regarded as a national concern. Such is this book of Mr. Low's. It points out, as we conscientiously believe, the origin of the existing agricultural pressure; and proposes a sound-at all events, a safe-alternative for the evil. The course it inculcates of necessity must benefit the position of labouring agriculturists in time to come, and lighten the burden of protective measures, by enabling the farmer-through the aid of scientific culture-to raise infinitely greater crops at a great reduction of expenditure than he does at present. The secret of the prosperity of this country is the development of her resources in advance of the nations which are her customers, and the diminished amount (and, consequently, cost) of labour by which this is accomplished. Men of science and practical attainments, like Mr. Low, have been the agents of this good work; would that they had all set about it in the fashion of a right philosophy, such as that dictated by our author in his preface-" In laying a foundation for a better order of things, the interests-nay, the safety-of the

community demand that every change shall be made with a manifest regard for those who have been born on the soil, whose lot may be progressively amended by means wisely employed, but who would become the victims of rash and sudden innovation on habits interwoven with the very frame-work of society." This is written in the true spirit; may it be well respected by those whose state of life constitutes them the stewards of this vast responsibility.

THE BOOK OF THE FARM. By Henry Stephens. William Blackwood and Sons, Edinburgh and London. Here is another agent in the accountable business "to make men happy and to keep them so." It is now complete, twenty-one parts being before the public-fitting companions for that great encyclopædic series of publications on the arts, sciences, and social employments of the people of these islands, which has been not the least worthy feature of our literature of late years. From time to time in this journal it has been our grateful duty to call popular attention to these truly national works. We follow out that duty most appropriately in recommending "The Book of the Farm" to all concerned or occupied in the rural life of Great Britain. It is a manual for the working man, and will be found both the philosopher and friend of the theorist. To such men as our author, Mr. Shaw (who has just published a translation of that valuable work, Von Thaer's Principles of Agriculture), Professor Low, Mr. Cuthbert Johnson, and last, but not least, Mr. Joseph Rogerson-a gentleman whose hand and heart, whose energies and abilities, whose powers of mind and purse, and whose still, unobtrusive manners, like the most important but least prominent part in a piece of machinery, has done more for agriculture and agricultural literature than perhaps any other man, either of the present or the past-not only the acknowledgments of the agricultural circles are due, but the gratitude of all who have the interests of the great human family at heart. They are indeed the salt of the earth, causing the blade of corn to germinate where none grew before, and thus promoting a harvest of peace and good-will.

PUBLIC AMUSEMENTS OF THE METROPOLIS.

"It were a delicate stratagem, to shoe a troop of horse with felt."

KING LEAR.

""Twas strange, 'twas passing strange, 'twas pitiful,
"Twas wondrous pitiful."

SHAKSPEARE.

"Between two worlds, life hovers like a star "

BYRON.

We have to record rather a dull month in theatricals. This is usually the case, while all hands and all brains are alike engaged in busy preparation for the grand Christmas spectacles. It is curious enough, to any one cognisant of the fact, to note the exhaustion of

animal spirits of every soul connected with the stage at this bustling period. To use the common expression, no stone is left unturned to raise a laugh, or produce an effect; and all combine thereto, from the scene constructor to the candle snuffer, towards the momentous "boxing-day." Much fun is elicited at rehearsals by the attempts at improvements upon jokes to which this zealous co-operation gives rise. Some of the "delicate stratagems" which emanate from the ready-witted of the green-room for this purpose, seem at first sight as akin to insanity as Lear's notion of "shoeing a troop of horse with felt;" but, as the most uncontrollable absurdities are the fittest to build a durable joke upon, so Christmas audiences are, from the very aptness of the season, always ready "to laugh like parrots at a bagpiper," or anything else, without mentioning their general advocacy of knock-me-down arguments and fisty-cuff repartees. Indeed, it is so often better to be merry than wise, that we have a regard for a fellow who looks forward to the pantomime night as to an event in his life; who confesses to a deliberate merriment as systematic as that of Shakspeare's Gratiano, as he sits before the curtain, in the first row of the pit (a seat to which he has probably sacrificed his day and dinner), and exclaims

"Let me play the fool,

With mirth and laughter; so let wrinkles come;
And let my liver rather heat with wine,

Than my heart cool with mortifying groans.

Why should a man, whose blood is warm within,
Sit like his grandsire cut in alabaster,

Sleep when he wakes, and creep into the jaundice,
By being peevish?"

Bourcicault's comedy still attracts old and young at the HAYMARKET. For the rest, nothing of account marked the early part of the month, and we go to press before there is time to speak of the "great day." At Mr. Archer's benefit, a new comic song was sung, accompanied by Mr. J. L. Hatton. This same Mr. Archer is a deservedly popular man from his uniform, pains-taking courtesy to the public a courtesy which well serves the interests of the manager who employs him. We recommend all gentlemen of his line to go and do likewise, if they would be similarly esteemed. Miss Woolgar, of the Adelphi, made her appearance here on the occasion of the indisposition of Madam Vestris, to much effect.

The LYCEUM is pursuing a steady career of success, under the able management of the Lilliputian pair, Mr. and Mrs. Keeley. Farces, divertissemens, and burlesques are rife at this cheerful theatre. "As droll as Keeley," is now a proverb, as formerly it used to be "laughable as Liston." We never wished to dance the "Polka" till we saw "Keeley's Polka;" and we were rather revolted at the character of "Sairey Gamp," in "Martin Chuzzlewit," till we saw Keeley's ineffable edition of the animal.

ASTLEY'S ROYAL AMPHITHEATRE is still renowned for pursuing the pleasures of the chase, even at a season when other sporting characters are obliged to give in. The "Fox-chase" of Mr. Moncrieff, is still the "great gun" here. The way the racing is carried on at this good and matter-of-fact theatre convinces us of the truth of the

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