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monger's, and grocer's bills), amounted in the said two years to one hundred eighty-six pounds four shillings and fivepence half-penny. The fine apparel, bracelets, lockets, and treats, &c. of the other, according to the best calculation, came, in three years and about three quarters, to seven hundred fortyfour pounds seven shillings and ninepence. After this I resolved never to marry more, and found I had been a gainer by my marriages, and the damages granted me for the abuses of my bed, (all charges deducted) eight thousand three hundred pounds within a trifle.
• I come now to show the good effects of the love of money on the lives of men, towards rendering them honest, sober, and religious. When I was a young man, I had a mind to make the best of my wits, and over-reached a country-chap in a parcel of unsound goods; to whom, upon his upbraiding, and threatening to expose me for it, I returned the equivalent of his loss; and upon his good advice, wherein he clearly demonstrated the folly of such artifices, which can never end but in shame, and the ruin of all correspondence, I neverafter transgressed. Can your courtiers, who take bribes, or your lawyers or physicians in their practice, or even the divines who intermeddle in worldly affairs, boast of making but one slip in their lives, and of such a thorough and Jasting reformation? Since my coming into the world I do not remember I was ever overtaken in drink, save nine times, once at the christening of my first child, thrice at our city feasts, and five times at driving of bargains. My reformation I can attribute to nothing so much as the love and esteem of money, for I found myself to be extravagant in my drink, and apt to turn projector, and make rash bargains. As for women, I never knew any except my wives;
for my reader must know, and it is what we may contde in as an excellent recipe, that the love of biminers and money in the greatest mortituer of inordiDate desires imaginable, its employing the mind continually in the caretul overnight of what one has, in the cayer quent after more, in looking after the nego ligences and deceita of nervants, in the due entering and stating of accounta, in hunting after chaps, and in the exact knowledge of the state of markete ; which things whoever thoroughly attends to, will find enough and enough to employ his thoughts on every moment of the day so that I cannot call to mind, that in all the time I was a husband, which, off and on, was above twelve years, I ever once thought of my wives but in bed. And, lastly, for religion, I have ever been a constant churchman, both forenoons and afternoone on Sundays, never fors getting to be thankful for any gain or advantage I had had that day, and on Saturday nights, upon casting up my accounts, I always was grateful for the sum of my week's profits, and at Christmas for that of the whole year. It is true, perhaps, that my devotion has not been the mont tervent; which, I think, ought to be imputed to the evenness and sedateness of my temper, which never would admit of any impetuosílies of any sort : and I can remember that in my youth and prime of manhood, when my blood ran brinker, I look greater pleasure in relia gious exercises than at present, or many years past, and that my devotion sensibly declined an age, which is dull and unwieldy, came upon me,
I have, I hope, here proved, that the love of money prevents all immorality and vices which if you will not allow, you musi, that the pursuit of it obliges men to the same kind of life as they would follow if they were really virtuous, wluch is all I
It has been proposed, to oblige every person that writes a book, or a paper, to swear himself the author of it, and enter down in a public register big name and place of abode.
This indeed would have effectually suppressed all printed scandal, which generally appears under bor. rowed names, or under none at all. But it is to be feared that such an expedient would not only destroy scandal, but learning. It would operate promiscuously, and root up the corn and tares together. Not to mention some of the most celebrated works of piety, which have proceeded from anonymous authors, who have made it their merit to convey to us so great a charity in secret; there are few works of genius that come out first with the author's name. The writer generally makes a trial of them in the world before he owns them ; and, I believe, very few, who are capable of writing, would set pen to paper, if they knew beforehand that they must not publish their productions but on such conditions. For my own part, I must declare, the papersi present the public are like fairy favours, which sball last no longer than while the author is concealed.
That which makes it particularly difficult to restrain these song of calumny and defamation is, that all sides are equally guilty of it, and that every dirty scribbler is countenanced by great names, whose interests he propagates by such vile and infamous methods. I have never yet heard of a ministry who have inflicted an exemplary punishment on an author that has supported their cause with falsehood and scandal, and treated in a most cruel manner the names of those who have been looked upon as their rivaly and antagonists. Would a government set an everlastin: mark of their displeasure upon one of those induwus writers, who makes his court to them
by tearing to pieces the reputation of a competitor, we should quickly see an end put to this race of vermin, that are a scandal to government, and a reproach to human nature. Such a proceeding would make a minister of state shine in history, and would fill all mankind with a just abhorrence of persons who should treat him unworthily, and employ against him those arms which he scorned to make use of against his enemies.
I cannot think that any one will be so unjust as to imagine, what I have here said is spoken with respect to any party or faction. Every one who has in him the sentiments either of a Christian or gentleman, cannot but be highly offended at this wicked and ungenerous practice, which is so much in use among us at present, that it is become a kind of national crime, and distinguishes us from all the governments that lie about us. I cannot but look upon the finest strokes of satire which are aimed at particular persons, and which are supported even with the appearances of truth, to be the marks of an evil mind, and highly criminal in themselves. Infamy, like other punishments, is under the direction and distribution of the magistrate, and not of any private person. Accordingly we learn, from a fragment of Cicero, that though there were very few capital punishments in the twelve tables, a libel or lampoon, which took away the good name of another, was to be punished by death. But this is far from being
Our satire is nothing but ribaldry, and billingsgate. Scurrility passes for wit; and he who can call names in the greatest variety of phrases, is looked upon to have the shrewdest pen. By this means the honour of families is ruined, the highest posts and greatest titles are rendered cheap and vile in the sight of the people, the noblest virtues and most exalted parts exposed to the contempt of the